I am so crushed....I can't even convey it.

[btq96r]

Randall, I wish you hadn't needed to make this post.  I wish I could have done more to help.  I should have just told you to take him to Nashville, or Atlanta to try there after he was blown off at the local level.  I know there are those who are claiming PTSD to game the system, to get benefits and monthly cash...damn them for taking away the resources needed, and numbing the doctors to the signs of danger when men in real need like your stepson ask for help.

In the midst of your grief, I can only hope your family can find joy from the time you had with him.  As far as I'm concerned, he's a casualty of the war he fought, just the same as those who died over there,  Our nation, is stronger for having men like your stepson answer the call to service, and I'm sorry that noble service took him away from you and your family before his time.

[R1100R]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I retire at the end of the month after 40 years. I have been in the Medical Corps the whole time. I have seen or dealt with issue a lot  with Soldiers. Our prayers are with you.

[Erik88]

This is terrible. I'm very sorry Randall.

[TGO David]

7 hours ago, MacGyver said:

At the very least it seems like some VA administrators, two senators, at least one congressman and the president himself ought to get a letter naming your son by name and expressing our disappointment in your sons treatment from each of the 26,579 members of TGO. 

We can do this.

[TGO David]

Randall;

There are no words.  Many of us have tried our best to provide some, but there simply are none that will heal the pain or soften the crushing blow that your family has been delivered.  The best we can do is offer our sympathies, grieve with you, and offer our prayers to the One who can heal your pain and will strengthen you so that this doesn't crush you forever.

I pray that God will hold you in His arms, keep you, give you strength and give you peace in the time ahead.  Reach out to the folks here on TGO, your friends outside of here, and keep your own spirits up.  Let us know what we can do to help.

--David

[DaveTN]

Very sorry for your loss.  

I am a veteran but thankfully have never had to deal with medical. I don’t know exactly what the problem with the VA is; but I have seen it suggested that Veterans benefits be available through their local private Doctors. I think this is the only fix.

The sad part is that if your son had been a criminal instead of a Veteran he would have got the mental health help he wanted and needed.

If you would let me use your son’s name and story I can think of some people that can do something about it that need to know his name and his story. I am a firm believer that stamped letters sent through the mail with real people’s names carry far more weight than emails and internet petitions. I am willing to write a letter.

[Grand Torino]

I have no words for your loss. May God Bless you and your family to give you comfort during this trying time.

[Wingshooter]

 

So sorry for your loss. Your family is in our prayers. 

[bigun]

So very sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my prayers. God bless.

[Jamie Jackson]

May God Bless you and his Mom Randall. I am so sorry to read this.

Words carry little weight at a time like this, but we'll pray for you and your family and Trust in Him.

[peejman]

So sorry for your loss. I've got boys of my own. It's difficult to even think about. 

[Esko 270]

So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers

[btq96r]

11 hours ago, MacGyver said:

At the very least it seems like some VA administrators, two senators, at least one congressman and the president himself ought to get a letter naming your son by name and expressing our disappointment in your sons treatment from each of the 26,579 members of TGO. 

Forget direct appeals to government officials, if you want the attention of everyone you listed, get the media to discuss it.  Interns and entry level staffers open and answer the mail.  Hell, the mail takes up to two months to get to that level with the screening procedures in place after the anthrax scares.  The political consultants and senior staff are the ones focusing on the media and watching for fallout.  Get their attention, and you'll have the right eyes starting to care.

Randall, once your family takes the time to grieve, think about sharing your story with the local media channels.  Maybe one of them can do a segment on the news with an interview of you and your wife going over the treatment records where he wasn't treated for PTSD properly, and try to get the local VA to comment.  If you need help, you know how to reach me.

[Obiwan]

My deepest sympathies for your loss.

[Steelharp]

Randall... my wife and I are sitting here in tears; tears of sorrow for you and your family, and tears of rage at a horrible system that needs to be imploded. I will find SOME way to pass this along. Our prayers are with you, may God give you His peace that surpasses all understanding in the midst of this.

[Bigiron]

Randall, I do not have the eloquence to properly express my heartfelt sympathy for your loss.  I am a retired RN from the VA.  I have seen first hand the results of a bloated bureaucracy serving their own agendas and refusing/ignoring the reason for the existence of the VA.  There are many good and professional healthcare employees at the VA, but if you speak out about the inadequacies, you will become the enemy of a system that will never change, like most all government agencies.  I retired earlier than I intended, because I spoke out about those gaming the system, thereby depriving those truly in need of immediate care, and was harassed to the point  that I could no longer tolerate the abuses.  I pray for your son, that he is now in peace.  And I pray for you and your family to find peace.

 

[bersaguy]

First off Prayers for your terrible loss to you and your wife. I know there are never any words to take away the pain a family goes through in these type of situations. Being a vet from Nam I have seen first hand how the Federal Government feels about taking care of our great men and women in our military. I was fortunate enough to be able to secure employment that made it where I never had to depend on VA for medical services but have many friends that do and they tell me all the horror stories about how they are treated by the VA.

I learned one thing about the Federal Government while serving and after coming home. That is the Federal Government looks at all military personnel as expendable assets and they are treated accordingly. NO man or woman that serves this country in our military is expendable. They are all important just as your son was also.

Again, Prayers will be shared every night for you and your family.

[JAB]

I am sorry for your loss.  I know that doesn't help but it is all I know to say.

[phiferran]

I cannot even imagine what your family is experiencing, but I will certainly be praying for you!!  So sorry for your loss. 

[Ted S.]

Reading this upsets me. You did everything you could do. Please don't fault youself for this.

[McGarrett]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[A.J. Holst]

My lord Jesus,

Please make us an instrument of your peace, where there is hatred let us sow love;

Where there is injury pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy!

Grant that we not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in  pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is  in dying that we are born to eternal life!

I ask almighty God to shower you and your family with His peace, that He send legions of angels to comfort you and He draws you closer to himself

 

Edited September 21, 2016 by Gotthegoods

[R_Bert]

My sorrows also.  My heart breaks for you, your wife, family, and friends. Amen to the prayers given.

[buck1032]

Randall, as other have said there are no words that can help heal your pain right now. Just know that I as a retired Sailor mourn for your lose, our Country's lose and also am angered at the VA. I have taken on the 22 push ups a day challenge that some may see on FB. Tonight I will mention your lose in my push ups. Please know that my family and my church will keep you in our hearts and prayers.

[TrickyNicky]

I am very saddened to read this Randall. It sounds like you lost not only a son, but a friend as well. 

 

I am proud of your boy, proud of his service and proud of the man it sounds like he was, proud of the man he should have lived to be.

 

Mental illness is no joke, the demons are in there I think for everybody and it is a shame when folks cannot overcome through their own or get the help they need to do so. It is DISGUSTING that what should be our nations most sacred asset, our veterans, cannot get a fighting chance with their lesser half, the government. 

 

I wish you peace in this trying time and urge you to open your heart to those who will help support and lessen even a trivial amount of your pain. 

 

I wish I had something better to say, words never are enough.