I am so crushed....I can't even convey it.

[Randall53]

I've not been on much the past few weeks and a few of you know of my step son, who has been like a son to me for 18 years today, that has suffered from a terrible problem with PTSD, depression and anxiety attacks and reached out to me to help. I thank you so very much for that!! I appreciate each of you. 

He turned 23 this past July and joined the National Guard 6 years ago at the age of 17.  All he wanted since he was 8 years old was to join the Army and be a soldier. He graduated high school at 16 years old. He joined the National Guard to take advantage of college assistance programs. His basic training was at Ft. Sill Oklahoma and he finished 1st in his group of over 150 others. He then went to his AIT training at the same location and again finished 1st over a completely different group of the approximate same number as a Missile Control Specialist. Shortly afterwards, he received a letter of congratulation from the Governor of Tennessee for his accomplishments during that time.  He was promoted to Sergent 2 years ago at the age of 21. He made 2 deployments to the Middle East with his last one being in 2014. The last mission was a "we're there, but we're not there" kind of secret mission and we didn't even know where he was for a year. He could call now and then, but couldn't tell us where he was. I don't know what happened over there, but he came back just a bit different. Not much, but a bit. Things didn't go well for him at times and he seemed bothered. He tried to hide it, but his condition got worse. We tried to get him to get help, to go to a private hospital and get help, but he resisted over and over again. "I'll be ok" is what he would always say. Finally we were able to persuade him to at least go the the VA clinic here in Chattanooga and he did a couple of times. Each time he went he said they did not take him seriously. The first time he was told that he just needed to "calm down". He didn't get better at all, got worse actually and we were worried. I finally got him to try again. The last time he went was 2 weeks ago today. He told them he needed to see someone in the Mental Health dept and he felt he needed help for PTSD and was having a panic attack right then. He said the panic attack was causing him pain in his chest. They sent him straight to a hospital saying it could be a heart attack. He argued with them and told them no, it wasn't it was a panic attack caused by the PTSD and he had been having them for a couple of years. They ignored what he said and sent him on by ambulance. Nothing was found at all at the hospital, then an hour later he called us to come get him. They have yet to follow up with him at all. They have not called and have completely ignored his cry for help from the Mental Health part of the VA on that day. It's like he never showed up there asking for help with mental issues. He's been living with us for the past 10 months or so and I told him to keep after them, don't give up because we are here for you and will see this through. We had called a Patient Advocate who tried to help, but I suppose my son had given up hope. He walked up to me about 2 hours later and said "well, now I don't know what to do..." I told him again, don't quit...I'll take you wherever you need to go and you know that. He said I know, then walked out the door on the 6th. That was 2 weeks ago and he wouldn't answer anyone's calls or texts. A couple of his friends saw him a week ago last Saturday, then no one saw or heard from him. Friends and family searched every location that could be thought of and 12 of us searched for him around his last know location this past Saturday. He was found on Sunday morning by a man out walking. He had taken his own life. the coroner said it was probably on Monday the 12th or early on Tuesday. I am so sick. I am so mad that some locations of an organization created to give our veterans care is so calloused and useless. Maybe some are not, I don't know, but the local VA clinic in Chattanooga can rot in HELL. If you work at a VA hospital, as I know some here do, don't take this personal. But if you see something like what happened to my stepson happening. DO SOMETHING. Change the organization from within. The VA is sicker than those they are supposed to help!!!!!  All of his life, everybody that met my son loved him. He was funny, FULL of energy, loved motorcycles and dirt bikes which he got from me. He made everyone laugh and would help anyone that called him at anytime of the day or night.  He had literally hundreds of friends that loved him. He was 1 year away from getting a degree in Computer science, forensics and security. He was brilliant which is obvious by his graduating at 16 years old. He had 4 years left in the military and wanted to make it a career. He had a wonderful life ahead of him and had so much to give this world......He may have had that chance IF the VA "Doctors" had got off their asses and helped him. IF they had not turned their back on him in HIS time of need.

Randall53

Edited September 21, 2016 by Randall53

[Hershmeister]

So sorry for your loss. Speechless

[Hozzie]

I am very sorry for his pain and your loss. This is unacceptable at every level. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[dralarms]

I'm  So sorry for your loss

[Raoul]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what his mother must be going through either. I'm heartbroken hearing this. 

[bubbadavis]

Sorry for you loss. I'm actually just at a loss for words. I can't imagine what you are going through.

[1fast4by]

Prayers

[MacGyver]

Randall, I am devestated along with you.  This makes me sick to my stomach.  I saw the title of the post and literally teared up. I am so sorry!

Words cannot even describe the emotions that I feel - and I'm certain that they don't hold a candle to your's and your wife's.  

There are good providers in the VA who care deeply about our soldiers.  But they're handicapped by a bureaucratic system that I'm afraid can't be fixed.  We need to burn it down and start over.  The politicians that profit on "fixing it" while asking us to be patient should be in prison.  

Our best and brightest give our country the best years of their lives.  And in return they come home and are ignored by a system that would prefer they'd just go away.  How many more of our kids have to lose their lives like this?  

This has to stop.  

Words seem hopeless in times like these, but I will keep your family in my prayers.  

If there is anything that any of us on TGO can do, please feel free to reach out to me directly.  

[rugerla1]

I am truly sorry for you loss and angry at the failure of those who did not listen and help! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and my heart aches for y'all. 

[Scorpion Equalizer]

I am truly sorry for your loss. Prayers sent.

[Links2k]

Sorry for your loss.  This may sound cold, but your story and my experiences are why I can't advocate for our young people to volunteer to serve.

 I was a honor graduate and loved my service, even my time in the gulf.  Anyone who has ever served knows that sick call is frowned upon, so unless you have a sucking chest wound, you just suck it up.  I'm seventy percent disabled, and I live and work everyday in pain.  My last two visits to the Memphis VA I was greeted by a friendly little doctor who told me as soon as she closed the door that my current situation was not combat related, pissed me off, then checked my blood pressure which I'm certain was elevated due to the doctor making a decision prior to performing an exam.  At that point around 1pm I'm taken to the emergency room where I'm abandoned until my pressure comes down around midnight, and sent home.  

I filed a grievance and an appeal detailing my experience with the first doctor.  I received  another C&P exam.  If you've had this experience, you know that the doctors have all of your interactions and correspondence with the VA on their computer before your visit.  I don't know if it was the complaint that I filled against her co-worker across the hall, but this doctor was worse.  She was rude and rushed and blamed my ailments on the fact that I had gained weight since leaving service. She totally disregarded records from other doctors that showed that not only had I sought treatment, but I have hospitalization records for every ailment related to service.  

I don't want your loss and my response to sound like this is all about me, but I'll use the information to continue fighting, and motivating other warriors not to give up.  

No one is looking for a handout, only the healthcare services and treatment that we were promised when we volunteered.

We are losing 22 a day.  Despicable! 

God bless your family!  

Edited September 21, 2016 by LINKS2K

[Tuffus]

So sorry for your loss. Not much I know to say to help but you will be in my prayers.

 

[Randall53]

31 minutes ago, LINKS2K said:

Sorry for your loss.  This may sound cold, but your story and my experiences are why I can't advocate for our young people to volunteer to serve.

 I was a honor graduate and loved my service, even my time in the gulf.  Anyone who has ever served knows that sick call is frowned upon, so unless you have a sucking chest wound, you just suck it up.  I'm seventy percent disabled, and I live and work everyday in pain.  My last two visits to the Memphis VA I was greeted by a friendly little doctor who told me as soon as she closed the door that my current situation was not combat related, pissed me off, then checked my blood pressure which I'm certain was elevated due to the doctor making a decision prior to performing an exam.  At that point around 1pm I'm taken to the emergency room where I'm abandoned until my pressure comes down around midnight, and sent home.  

I filed a grievance and an appeal detailing my experience with the first doctor.  I received  another C&P exam.  If you've had this experience, you know that the doctors have all of your interactions and correspondence with the VA on their computer before your visit.  I don't know if it was the complaint that I filled against her co-worker across the hall, but this doctor was worse.  She was rude and rushed and blamed my ailments on the fact that I had gained weight since leaving service. She totally disregarded records from other doctors that showed that not only had I sought treatment, but I have hospitalization records for every ailment related to service.  

I don't want your loss and my response to sound like this is all about me, but I'll use the information to continue fighting, and motivating other warriors not to give up.  

No one is looking for a handout, only the healthcare services and treatment that we were promised when we volunteered.

We are losing 22 a day.  Despicable! 

God bless your family!  

No Sir. You don't sound calloused at all. I'm so sick inside I hardly eat or sleep, and my wife is worse.  I can't imagine why  a REAL Doctor with a conscience that would even work in a system as the VA. Maybe they do some good, but my son and the look of hopelessness I saw in his eyes the last time I saw him......I can't describe it and will live with it the rest of my life.  I was so scared, and my fears became real. PLEASE pray for his mom and for me. Thanks to all who have responded and yet will respond. I am so lost.....I can't reply.

Edited September 21, 2016 by Randall53

[Links2k]

4 minutes ago, Randall53 said:

No Sir. You don't sound calloused at all. I'm so sick inside I hardly eat or sleep, and my wife is worse.  I can't imagine why  a REAL Doctor with a conscience that would even work in a system as the VA. Maybe they do some good, but my son and the look of hopelessness I saw in his eyes the last time I saw him......I can't describe it.  I was so scared, and my fears became real. PLEASE pray for his mom and for me. Thanks to all who have responded and yet will respond. I am so lost.....I can't reply.

My heart aches for you all.  I know that had it not been for two other veterans who've shared their lives with me over the past several years, things could have turned out differently for any of us.

[MacGyver]

At the very least it seems like some VA administrators, two senators, at least one congressman and the president himself ought to get a letter naming your son by name and expressing our disappointment in your sons treatment from each of the 26,579 members of TGO. 

[Randall53]

You can imagine how I feel when I see multi-millionaire thugs that won't stand for the National Anthem. I know it's their right, but do your protesting at the voting booth. Not in the face of people like my son. The right of free speech goes only so far, when you begin to step on other peoples graves, I draw a line.

Edited September 21, 2016 by Randall53

[mikegideon]

11 minutes ago, MacGyver said:

At the very least it seems like some VA administrators, two senators, at least one congressman and the president himself ought to get a letter expressing our disappointment in your sons treatment from each of the 26,579 members of TGO. 

I can assure you that they don't give a damn. My dad passed away 10 days ago, and the VA's administrators made it lots worse than it should have been. For all they cared, he could have died in the street. #### the VA.

Sorry for your loss, Randall. I feel ya.

Edited September 21, 2016 by mikegideon

[Links2k]

11 minutes ago, mikegideon said:

I can assure you that they don't give a damn. My dad passed away 10 days ago, and the VA's administrators made it lots worse than it should have been. For all they cared, he could have died in the street. #### the VA.

Sorry for your loss, Randall. I feel ya.

They don't care. 

Luckliy I have a private physician who briefly worked at the VA when he was younger.  He is not fond of that place or the government, and I've always received excellent care and attention from him. It's not right for warriors to suffer they way they do.  

To make things worse, I had a family member who served in the gulf at the same time I served.  He came back so screwed up that he took a life in a domestic situation, then took his own life.  You never get over it. Just depend on friends and loved ones to help you cope.

Edited September 21, 2016 by LINKS2K

[mikegideon]

1 minute ago, LINKS2K said:

They don't care. 

Luckliy I have a private physician who briefly worked at the VA when he was younger.  He is not fond of that place or the government, and I've always received excellent care and attention from him. It's not right for warriors to suffer they way they do.  

It's not the doctors. They have some exceptional doctors. It's the government ####bags that administer the thing. I hope they all rot in hell.

[bud]

.

Edited April 26, 2017 by bud

[seez52]

You have our prayers, peace be with you and your family.

[KahrMan]

I am so sorry for your loss. Will keep your family in our prayers. 

[Omega]

My thoughts are with you and yours, may you find comfort and solace in these trying times.

[hipower]

The only words I can give you are these. Keep faith in God. Your TGO family and friends will be praying for you.

May God Bless and Keep you now in your sorrow.

[TripleGGG]

There are no words.  I am so sorry for your loss.