The Things I Owe My Parents

[crossfire]

The Things I Owe My Parents

1. My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ..
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside… I just finished cleaning." 
2. My Parents taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 
3. My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 
4. My Parents taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why." 
5. My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 
6. My Parents taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 
7. My Parents taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 
8. My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 
9. My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 
10. My Parents taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My Parents taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My Parents taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 
13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 14. My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My Parents taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My Parents taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!" 
18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 
19. My Parents taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 

20. My Parents taught me HUMOR. 
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 
21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My Parents taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father." 
23. My Parents taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 
24. My Parents taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 
 

And my favorite:

25. My Parents taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[Grand Torino]

Words of wisdom..all of them.

[Steelharp]

Wisdom, AND truth. lol. Awesome.

[xsubsailor]

 I think, at one time or another, I received each and every one of those statements. 

[hipower]

I wish I could thank my for all those things and more. They were far smarter than I'll ever hope to be. But they're gone now. I waited too long to them. 

[Caster]

Be thankful.  As the late Hershel Greene once said: Some fathers do not earn the love of their children.  

That goes for moms too.  People [especially older generations] seem to labor under the delusion that there is a debt owed just for the creation of life.  I know for a fact there are some damn good fathers on this forum.  The world is full of those who ain't.  So be thankful ya'll, if you have something to be thankful for.  

[nightrunner]

I am thankful for everything on that list. I only wish my parents had been harder on me than they were, and I had the strictest parents of any of my peers bar none.

[Murgatroy]

I am in a minority here. I can't really think of anything to thank my parents for without being facetious. 

 

So with that in mind I can honestly say that my parents taught me what kind of parent not to be. 

[Caster]

50 minutes ago, Murgatroy said:

I am in a minority here. I can't really think of anything to thank my parents for without being facetious. 

 

So with that in mind I can honestly say that my parents taught me what kind of parent not to be. 

 

That, in and of itself, if a VERY valuable lesson learned.  

I didn't have kids but if I had, I would have done a great many things.....different.

[jpx2rk]

I tell my daughter "payback is h3ll" aint, referring to the last one.  LOL.  She just grins and mutters something about me being right for a change.  LOL