BE CAREFULL WHAT YOU WISH FOR .......... joke

[crossfire]

   After a relaxing bath, Monica Lewinsky was looking
at herself naked in a mirror...remembering her time with Bill Clinton.
 
Her frustration over her inability to lose
weight was depressing her.
 
In an act of desperation, she decided to
call on God for help..
 
"God, if you take away my love handles, I'll
devote my life to you," she prayed.
 
And just like that, her ears fell off!
 
Touching story, isn't it!
 

[Possumslayer]

Reminds me of the guy asking the geni for a little head....

[hipower]

Still chuckling on that.

 

Reminds me of what a friend had done to her.

 

Someone welded a plate on the bumper of her car.

 

The plate read "Let go of my ears...I know what I'm doing."

[LagerHead]

A guy walks into a bar and grabs a stool. He says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, wanna see something amazing?" Of course the barkeep replies in the affirmative and so the guy reaches in his bag and pulls out a tiny piano. Then a little guy walks out, sits down and starts playing Mozart.

 

The bartender is awestruck and asks, "Where the heck did you get that?"

 

"I have a genie."

 

Incredulous, the bartender scoffs.

 

The guy says, "No, really, I'll show you," and whips out a lamp, rubs it, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The guy instructs the genie to grant the bartender a wish. The bartenders says, "Ok, I wish I had a million bucks."

 

Just then, the front door opens and in waddles a duck, followed by another, then another, and so on.

 

The bartender screams, "You idiot, I said a million bucks not a million ducks!"

 

The guy says, "Oh yea, I forgot to mention he's a little hard of hearing. Do you really think I wished for a 9 inch pianist?"

Edited February 11, 2016 by LagerHead