As I grow older

[Ron_TN]

 

 

AS I GROW OLDER

             

SINCE IT WAS SUCH A CRAPPY DAY I SAT IN MY RECLINER AND STARTED THINKING
ABOUT LIFE AND CAME TO REALIZE THAT  AS I HAVE GROWN OLDER I'VE LEARNED THAT PLEASING EVERYONE IS

IMPOSSIBLE, BUT PISSING EVERYONE OFF IS A PIECE OF CAKE.

 

CONDOMS DON'T GUARANTEE SAFE SEX ANYMORE, A FRIEND OF MINE WAS WEARING
ONE WHEN HE WAS SHOT BY THE WOMAN'S HUSBAND.

 

  LANCE ARMSTRONG….I THINK IT IS JUST TERRIBLE AND DISGUSTING HOW
EVERYONE HAS TREATED LANCE ARMSTRONG, ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HE ACHIEVED,
WINNING 7 TOUR DE FRANCE RACES, WHILE ON DRUGS. HELL, WHEN I WAS ON
DRUGS, I COULDN'T EVEN FIND MY BIKE.

 

 DRIVE BY….SOME ONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE LAST WEEK. THEY DIDN'T TAKE MY
TV, JUST THE REMOTE.  NOW THEY DRIVE BY AND CHANGE THE CHANNELS ON IT. THE
SICK BASTARDS!!!

 

  THE AGONY OF AGING….ON THE MORNING THAT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME ENDED I
STOPPED IN TO VISIT MY AGING FRIEND. HE WAS BUSY COVERING HIS PENIS WITH
BLACK SHOE POLISH. I SAID TO HIM, "YOU BETTER GET YOUR HEARING CHECKED -
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TURN YOUR CLOCK BACK".

 

  VIDEO SCAM….JUST GOT SCAMMED OUT OF $25. I BOUGHT A TIGER WOODS DVD
ENTITLED "MY FAVORITE 18 HOLES". TURNS OUT IT'S ALL ABOUT GOLF.
ABSOLUTE WASTE OF MONEY! PASS THIS ON SO OTHERS DON'T GET SCAMMED.

 

  PREGNANT PROSTITUTE…DOCTOR ASKS A PREGNANT PROSTITUTE, "DO YOU KNOW
WHO THE FATHER IS?" HEY DUMB ASS, SHE REPLIED, IF YOU ATE A CAN OF
BEANS WOULD YOU KNOW WHICH ONE MADE YOU FART  ????.

[Grand Torino]

oh man.....

[jpx2rk]

Definitely on a roll here.   :rofl:

[Pete123]

There are some good ones in there.

[frankmako]

that's life.

[bersaguy]

:bowrofl: :clap: back when we were kids there were only about 4 channels on garage door openers and we would drive through neighborhoods with my buddy's dads remote at night opening peoples garage doors............ :up:

Edited December 22, 2015 by bersaguy

[MP5_Rizzo]

:bowrofl: :clap: back when we were kids there were only about 4 channels on garage door openers and we would drive through neighborhoods with my buddy's dads remote at night opening peoples garage doors............ :up:

When I was a kid there were only 4 channels on the black and white TV that had to be changed manually and garage doors were manual as well. :tough:

[Possumslayer]

Lulz

[CommsNBombs]

Lololol. Gotta turn your clock back.

Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk

[crossfire]

Thanks Ron_Tn, You made my day! :woohoo:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :clap:  :bowrofl:

[Ron_TN]

Humor....is what keeps me going........I don,t hang around people that can.t take humor.....I just hit "80" on the 19th

[hipower]

A belated Happy Birthday to you, old man! From one not too far behind you.

[Jamie Jackson]

A "Season Citizen" and Sharp to boot! Thank you Ron. You've brightened this old fart's day. :up: