is it a good or bad idea to let a 14 year old visit her mom in jail?

[Ron_TN]

I hate people that thrive on this kind of sh*t....He must get off posting this.......Using people's feelings.  He needs someone to take him out in the back yard and do some landscaping on his a**

[Hershmeister]

Weird

[teecro]

On another forun the IP address was traced back to Oakland University.... So my guess is someone writing a paper and/or using us a lab rats.... 

[teecro]

http://us.reachout.com/forums/showthread.php?49492-How-should-I-interact-with-my-mom-when-she-gets-out-of-jail-What-questions-should-I

 

https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&aq=hts&oq=&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4MXGB_enUS523US526&q=my+mom+will+return+from+jail+in+June+after+serving+a+six+month+sentence+for+a+financial+crime

Edited November 10, 2015 by teecro

[TrickyNicky]

The more I think about this the more it upsets me. Really, really hope the OP stubs his bare toe on a brick at a full run. :angry:

[Oh Shoot]

Weird

 

Don't think it's just a bot, but yeah,  I can't figure a rational motive for all that effort. Spread out over too much time to be a school project or something.

 

Plus add even more with this thread topic all over the place too:

 

http://www.tngunowners.com/forums/topic/91395-can-you-guy-a-handgun-if-your-spouse-was-convicted-of-a-crime/

 

- OS

Edited November 10, 2015 by Oh Shoot

[Shepherd Master]

[Mike.357]

would be interested in the story behind that pic  ^^^

[Mike.357]

googled my own answer

 

A Guatemalan firing squad executes two men in 1955. 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/utah-lawmakers-vote-state-firing-squad-article-1.2144753

[MrsMonkeyMan2500]

googled my own answer

Is it horrible if I feel like this should be brought back since some states are having issues obtaining "legal" drugs to finish out executions?

[Dolomite_supafly]

He was not a bot. We had several conversations through pm.

[Omega]

He was not a bot. We had several conversations through pm.

You would be surprised at what bots can do.  Back in the days of the BBS I ran one and had a bot that could have text conversations with people; depending on some of the words in the responses it would reply rather well.  I am sure bots now can perform much better, look at Siri, Google's version etc, they can sometimes have a good spoken conversation with you.

 

The reason I lean toward bot is that some of the text in the conversations and links are too perfect, humans seem to change things around.  With permission, (not sure if posting PMs is against the rules); maybe we can compare PMs that were sent to us.

[Dolomite_supafly]

Here is the conversation. This is in response to a post I made.

I am leaning towards a real person doing some sort of research. I have a very hard time believing a bot can select me then compose a message then send it.

3600
Sent 09 October 2015 - 04:38 PM
Main problem I have is she will see her mom in a jail jumpsuit and other inmates and even guards that could be intimidating . Is that ok for a 14 year old to see? Seeing Women behind bars basically?

Dolomite_supafly
Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:35 PM
I am not a psychologist so I have no clue how anything will affect your daughter. She is your daughter and you are going to make the best decision for her, not me.

Before today I had no clue who you are. You asked some questions which I tried to answer. You asked my opinion and I gave it in the most positive way possible. It is going to suck, for everyone. Your wife is going to cry most visits and you are going to feel awful. You can choose to let you daughter see it if you want or not. And if you love your wife better hang onto her until the last second because she will not be the same person coming back out.

3600
Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:39 PM
It's more like how such an environment would affect a young person in general

[Omega]

My PMs:

 

3600

Sent 09 October 2015 - 03:23 PM

Thanks for answering

 

Main problem I have is she will see her mom in a jail jumpsuit and other inmates and even guards that could be intimidating . Is that ok for a 14 year old to see? Seeing Women behind bars basically?

 

Me

Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:17 PM

Kids are resilient, at her age you can actually have a conversation with her and find out what she thinks about the whole thing.

 

3600

Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:23 PM

 

My daughter does but seem nervous at all. In fact she seems a little excited

My daughter made some jokey comments as I mentioned in my previous question

 

Me

Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:29 PM

Sometimes they use laughter to disguise nerves, but like I said, she will probably be OK.  After the first time you can gauge how she feels about return visits.

 

3600

Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:42 PM

I hear my daughter can learn a lot from a visit. What do you think are the main things age can learn? How jails and law enforcement works ?

 

Me

Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:49 PM

No, the best thing she can take away from this is that wrong decisions have consequences.  If your wife takes responsibility for what she has done, and her actions match her words that is definitely a positive influence for her.

 

3600

Sent 09 October 2015 - 05:57 PM

My daughter definitely wants to ask her mom questions about what it is like . Do you think that is a good idea and good for my wife to be open?

 

Me

Sent 09 October 2015 - 06:05 PM

I think so; it's better to hear the truth.  We have always been open with our kids, they always have a parent to go to for any reason.  And they have, because they know we always deal straight with them.  Kids want to learn, it's best to be the one teaching them the valuable lessons.

 

3600

Sent 09 October 2015 - 06:10 PM

Do you think this will leave a kind of impression if she sees the jail and the people in them

 

Me

Sent 09 October 2015 - 06:14 PM

Of course, but it does not have to be a terrible experience.  Just like it would be a bit traumatic if she was hospitalized, you would take her anyway.

 

3600

Sent 09 October 2015 - 06:23 PM

My daughter I believe wants to ask questions like how is the food, how are the guards, how is her uniform, what is her cell like, does she have a cellmate, and how the privacy is like BS if she has to do embarrassing things like shower in front of others. Are these questions too personal or ok you think

 

Me

Sent 09 October 2015 - 06:26 PM

She is curious, she will be OK with the whole thing, you will see.

 

3600

Sent 09 October 2015 - 06:27 PM

In sure she is, I just hope it is not too personal you know what i mean

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

So he started the conversation with an identical sentence between you and him as well. If not a bot, its just one lazy individual using cut and paste.

[btq96r]

Is it horrible if I feel like this should be brought back since some states are having issues obtaining "legal" drugs to finish out executions?

 

Not horrible at all.  A bullet to the heart has the same effect on everybody.  It's quick, efficient, as painless as dying can reasonably expect to be, and has a miniscule chance of being misapplied if the shooters are trained right, and the equipment is good to go.

 

Electrocution, and lethal injection on the other hand present all kinds of problems across the spectrum as we've seen.

[bud]

. Edited January 6, 2016 by bud

[Hozzie]

Bring back the guillotine.

Gravity works all day every day.

:death:

 

Or a rope.  Cheaper and still works all day, every day with gravity  :pleased:

[bud]

. Edited January 6, 2016 by bud

[teecro]

True and that would be easier on everyone's little feelings as there could still be an open casket funeral and less blood and gore overall. Seriously, whose idea was it to start this electrocution or lethal injection thing anyway? It only complicated and added unnecessary expense to what should have remained a very simple scenario.

 

The PC crowd......

[NRA]

I also belive this is a bot or trol. I have seen this same B.S. thread on other forums

[bud]

. Edited January 6, 2016 by bud

[TGO David]

On another forun the IP address was traced back to Oakland University.... So my guess is someone writing a paper and/or using us a lab rats.... 

 

Same here.

 

141.210.140.123 - Geo Information IP Address 141.210.140.123

Host 141.210.140.123

Location  US, United States City Rochester, MI 48309

Organization Oakland University

ISP Oakland University

AS Number AS237 Merit Network Inc.

Latitude 42°65'80" North Longitude 83°18'43" West

Distance 8026.92 km (4987.70 miles)

[TrickyNicky]

3600 Posted :     Main problem I have is she will see her mom in a jail jumpsuit and other inmates and even guards that could be intimidating . Is that ok for a 14 year old to see? Seeing Women behind bars basically?

Nicky Posted :         I think so. It's hard to say without knowing you or your wife and daughter but generally speaking, I would say best to go yourself a time or two and make the call when you know what to expect. I wouldn't say it will be the best memory for either of them, but it may be an important one nonetheless. Too, your wife may need to see her daughter at some point to be strong. 

 

I would say that I'd take my kids, but I can't. I haven't got any so it's hard for me to give pertinent advice on the matter. I think Petes post is definitely worth reading twice though.

 

 

All the best, 

 

Nick

 

 

3600 Posted :       My daughter said she would like to visit 

I hear in addition to seeing her mom, she can learn a lot from a visit. What do you think are the main things she can learn?

 

Nicky Posted :      She'll learn the main thing.

 

Actions have consequences, and that never changes no matter how old you get, what you do for a living, or where you go. I'd bet a nickel she also learns she never wants to go to jail for anything but a visit. I bet she also learns a lesson that I didn't learn until well into my 20's. Her parents are mortal, regular people susceptible to the real world just like anybody else. It's a bit of a shock as I'm sure you know, but it may a bit early to learn the lesson, or maybe not. 

 

Other than that I'm just not sure what else there is to learn from jail from a visit. Maybe a bit of humility, and it will reenforce the fact that life is not always peachy. Most 14 year olds know that already, some 30 year old don't however so it's a mixed bag.

 

Also keep in mid I have not been incarcerated personally, nor have I a LOT of experience in the matter. A few friends have been in and I've learned much from them as well as my father who was a jailer at the onset of his career. 

 

 

3600 Posted   :    My daughter definitely is wanting to ask her mom what it is like there. Is it a good idea and for my wife to be open about it ?

 

 

 

To which Nicky replied  :     Man, I just don't know. It's a hard thing for sure and I wish I could be of more help, I really do, but I think at this point you need to assess all currently available information, and make your choice. I'm not a church going man, but if you are can I suggest talking to your pastor/priest/rabbi/minister? I think this is something that you CAN and should ask strangers for some feedback, but you need someone who knows your family to really help make that choice if you need help making it.

 

 

 

​Earning the following response from 3600  :   Your previous responses were pretty interesting 

The reason I am asking online is because I feel less judged in a way

To which I answered  : Lol, I'm an interesting guy I suppose. I get the anonymity, it's one of the internets high points and one of the reason I'm befuddled and a bit upset over the current trend to link everything to everything else so what I say on youtube can be easily seen by anyone who has my email adredd, and it will automatically send it to MyFace, and then everyone there will get email updates just to know that I liked a video of someone playing a song and told the "Good job dude". Thats important stuff there and the world must apparently know all about it.  :rolleyes:

 

People are going to judge though, it's our nature. People are judging you know over a post they only half read and can't possibly empathize with. It's our nature and an important part of it too for better or worse. 

 

 

So lets work this out a bit. You know your family and most of ll you know your daughter, is she ready to hear about this is really the question. Can she comprehend and make sense of situation in an adult way? What will it likely do for her and too her to hear some cold hard truth? I've known 14 year olds that have children of their own and have been locked up in detection centers, I know an 18 year old off to college this year who is by accounts feeling overwhelmed by the fact that even her small private christian school offers more opportunity for failure and bad choices than she's had her whole life. Hell, I know a lady who was in her 50's and signed the pink slip to a highly collectable, damn near mint 60's Lincoln Continental over a promise to pay later because  The man worked (as in past tense, at some point) for the same company I get my insurance from, he HAS to come back and pay the money he's not legally obligated to pay. He has to. Right?" 

 

Where does your daughter fit into all of this? 

 

If Dolomite is right, and I have every confidence in him, it may be moot as you may have to use video phone in which case the real question isn't what will your daughter be exposed to, but rather what will you and your wife expose her too. She doesn't have to know everything, but what gets shared is subjective to her and her maturity I think.

 

 

This is an interesting question, and not an easy one. Thanks for putting it out there.

 

 

3600 replied :    My daughter does but seem nervous at all. In fact she seems a little excited 

My daughter made some jokey comments as I mentioned in my previous question


Also this visiting room does not use phones. It is a table in a common area 

 

 

 

 

Thats where I started smelling fish and stopped answering. This all took place from 3:20PM - 4:45PM. It seems that the messages are the same, however the order in which they are given is different, and some are just different enough to make me think human, while others are identical. I'm thinking bot or as mentioned college assignment. Given the fact that it is spread out over such a long period it would only make sense for the former if this where a pet project of a professors and he has given different students or classes the same script. I don't know.

 

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[Wingshooter]

Sounds familiar. Here are 3600's responses to the PM he(it) started with me...

-----------------------

Thanks for answering



Main problem I have is she will see her mom in a jail jumpsuit and other inmates and even guards that could be intimidating . Is that ok for a 14 year old to see? Seeing Women behind bars basically?

---------------------

My daughter does but seem nervous at all. In fact she seems a little excited

My daughter made some jokey comments as I mentioned in my previous question

-----------------------------------

She said she would like to go



I hear my daughter can learn a lot from a visit. What do you think are the main things age can learn? How jails and law enforcement works ?
---------------------

My daughter definitely wants to ask her mom questions about what it is like . Do you think that is a good idea and good for my wife to be open? Edited November 11, 2015 by Wingshooter

[10-Ring]

Say 3600 was trying to set up members of the gun community to look bad by asking loaded questions.  I think they did not get that result here, they got caring and compassionate people that took a lot of time to help a stranger through a tough time.  How they choose to report what they found is yet to be determined.  BTW I thought this thread, along with others that he posted seemed a bit loaded, and a little out of the realm of ordinary questions.  If nothing else it shows how great some of the members here at TGO are by taking time to try to help someone who they do not even know.