Incident at Rural King...nothing happened

[FortKnox]

Today was backing out of a parking space at Rural King. I was looking back the entire time when a man and his little girl come from behind the big SUV next to me. And slams his hand on my spoiler yelling for me to stop.

Then gets on the passage side and says I almost hit him and his girl. I tell him I didn't cause I was watching when they came from behind the SUV. Then he told me I shouldn't be wearing sunglasses if I can't see. I tell him whatever.

Then he tells I should get my green card before I get my license. What the hell? The I just tell him to fuck off. And then his says he should just drag me out of my car and beat the shit out of me.

At this point I need to get out of here cause I really don't feel like pulling out my gun and making things worse. So I tell him to fuck off and I haul ass out of there. And maybe it was just me he seemed kinda drunk to but, whatever.

Thoughts?

[Joe357]

Should have called the cops especially if he appeared drunk with a child in tow. Then he can example to the cops what he was doing in the parking lot drunk with a child.

[10-Ring]

Hard to say if you did anything wrong to initiate the situation.  I would assume that #### started with the letter "F" which you should not have said in front of a small child, but it sounds like he was looking for a fight.  At the point someone threatens that they will pull me out of the car I have to assume that is their next move and I would be going for my gun at that point.    I just really hate the thought that there was a small child that got to witness this, and thankful that she didn't have to see her father or whoever she was with get shot.

[E4 No More]

As hard as it is to do I'd recommend that you refrain from using #### off or any other inflammatory language in response so you cannot be accused of escalating the situation. At least when you are armed.

[FortKnox]

I was fairly calm until he told me I should get my green card before my license which is what set me off.

[Caster]

I've had something "similar" in that, a person outside my vehicle wants to initiate some form of conversation.  I will not roll my windows down.  I lock my doors first thing when getting in the vehicle so if someone wants to get to me, they will have to break glass, at which point, I will most likely remove my pistol from it's holster.  

 

If he slammed his hand on my vehicle, I would have called the cops immediately.  

[maroonandwhite]

It's very hard to keep a cool head and not say anything in a situation like that but it's usually best. You just have/need to take it up to the point that you don't. 

[MacGyver]

The moment you strap on a weapon, you have to adopt the mindset of being the one to deescalate a situation - up to and even past the point of personal affront.  

 

It's just not worth it.  

[94user]

If you are carrying you need to learn to let things like offending insults go. It's always your duty to avoid trouble the best that you can. It's not always easy I know,  I can be hot headed at times.

[CommsNBombs]

I understand it can be hard to curb you tongue in a situation like that.

JMHO: I agree with what you did, he already escalated when he slammed on your car and start toting racial and derogatory slurs at you. Ive been in situations like that in NYC at Home Depots, if he wants to talk all that good stuff he should be ready to back it up. I wouldve laid him out, sorry folks - you get in my face and start smashing on my property I dont care who is front of you.

Good call on not pulling out your weapon though, some people arent worth more of a reaction than a slap in the mouth.

I wouldnt bother calling the cops, no need waiting 20 mikes for Johnny Law and Sheriff Bubba to show up and take statements and throw a wrench in your chores.

Just my 2 Cents, I know my opinions are radically different than many on this board - but if you come at another grown man being super confrontational and disrespectful you better get ready to drop the gloves.

Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk

[NRA]

I was fairly calm until he told me I should get my green card before my license which is what set me off.

I the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but.............. comes into play here

[Jonnin]

Well, I wasn't there, OK, but when someone is close enough to smack your car and it is rolling toward them, they MIGHT have a point....   I've had to do this twice in my life, where someone was rolling at me and did not seem to be aware.  They could have been, but a good slap makes the driver stop regardless.  They shouldn't have been that close (my situations only, again, I wasn't there for yours).   I didn't go over and pick a fight ...  I think  I yelled at one of them to watch where they were going, without profanity or hostility (yelling to be heard inside the car).

 

If they can touch your car, and you were moving toward them, it was too close for comfort.  If the guy moved toward you to hit it, he is an idiot (that means he could just, you know, move aside.... duh..)

Edited July 1, 2015 by Jonnin

[DWARREN123]

When out you have to let stuff like this roll off. Do not get into a yelling match or physical, stay calm and be the bigger person.

[EssOne]

I was fairly calm until he told me I should get my green card before my license which is what set me off.

 

Like the other guys have said, getting set off isn't allowed when carrying a gun. Uncommon restraint is the rule.

[MphsTiger1981]

I see a lot of this sort of stuff in my line of work. My advice to you would be, always keep your cool. Don't think you have to prove your manhood, no need to escalate things. Sure, he struck your car with his hand and that probably made you mad. Let it go. When you strap on that pistol, you've got to learn to be humble and very forgiving. I probably missed something , but I never got the impression you were in fear of your life in your situation.  As Jonnin pointed out, if your car is close enough that he can touch it, the other guy might have had a real concern about the proximity. Personally, I like to make eye contact with a driver before I'll walk behind a car like that, especially if I have a kid or wife in tow. While it sounds like you did the right thing, just remember there are always two sides to every story.  I'll play devils advocate here. Let's say he gets on TGO when he gets home and posts this: 

 

"Just about had to pull on a guy. I'm still shaking. I have Parkinsons and it's hard to walk straight sometimes. I was in the parking lot at Rural King walking my grandson to the store when this jackass almost backed over us. I slapped the rear of his car to make him stop and he started swearing at me. Words were exchanged and he threatened to get out of the car and whip my ass. I'm pretty sure he had something in the car with him. He seemed all pissed off for no reason. When it was over he squealed off and almost hit two other cars. Started to call the cops but my grandson was already pretty upset. This guy is lucky he didn't try to get out of that car is all I can say. I'd hate to shoot someone over something this stupid especially in front of my grandson."

 

See how easy it is to make you the bad guy here? It's not worth losing everything financially or otherwise over words in a parking lot. If two guys try to car jack you or rob you in the parking lot, that's a whole other game, but something like you experienced was just simply not worth going to jail or spending every penny you have to defend yourself in court. Glad it turned out okay for you. 

[owejia]

Take a deep breath. The world is full of rude and crude people, you can't shoot them for that. Be careful out there.

[FortKnox]

Thanks for the opinions but, I think some of you are confused. At no point did I thought of pulling out my gun while arguing with the guy. It was when he threatened to pull me out of my car did I think about reaching for my gun seeing how my passager side window was all the way down and how close he was.

That's when I put it in drive and got out of there. Edited July 1, 2015 by FortKnox

[JAB]

While I agree that one must keep one's cool as much as possible when carrying I don't know that there is never room for getting upset.  Based on what the OP said, I think of numbskulls in the Walmart parking lot, for example, who have their heads so far up their butts that they can see their own hearts beating, sometimes just wandering around in la-la land and, more often than not, with their cellphone to their ear as if it is surgically grafted there.  These idiots will walk past a vehicle (say a full sized van) without even looking to see if the next vehicle - the driver of which could not possible see them coming until they are actually behind that driver's vehicle unless said driver had Superman's x-ray vision - and then act like it is the driver's fault that he/she doesn't have ESP and the ability to read what little mind the numbskull has to know that said numbskull is about to pull such a numbskull move.  In a similar situation, I probably wouldn't have dropped an F-bomb but there is a very good chance, carrying or not, that I would suggest that the numbskull in question should remove his head from his butt and pay attention to where he was walking and to whether or not drivers would be able to see them before it was too late.  As a driver I try to pay attention to everything but sometimes it is simply impossible to see someone coming in a parking lot when there is a vehicle parked next to you that completely obstructs your view.  As a pedestrian, I try to keep that in mind and actually pay attention to my surroundings.  After all, in a conflict between a pedestrian and a vehicle it is the pedestrian and not the driver who will be a greasy spot on the pavement.

[Ted S.]

The idiot probably wasn't paying attention until he spotted an opportunity to be a dick.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I547 using Tapatalk

[cgun86]

Lots of great advice. We have an obligation as HCP holders to do our absolute best to avoid violent confrontation. Pulling your weapon and using it is always a last resort and only when there is eminent life threatening danger to you or those around you. Edited August 18, 2015 by cgun86

[vbob]

i am a bit surprised at some of the responses here. i understand the desire to tell an idiot he is an idiot, by the way sounds like ya found one. But you should try and de-escalate all the way up until pulling you firearm.

idiot smacks your car and accuses you of of not paying attention, take a deep breath and say "sorry sir" even though you don't mean it.

when idiot starts saying random crap. again sorry to startle you sir then place car in drive and slowly pull away

unless your goal is to "kill someone today" always try and avoid conflict especially while armed

 

if you truly think he is drunk you have a responsibility to the child to report him to the police

when i am out and about old people and kids get an automatic pass for minor stupid things they do, cause they WILL do them. we were all stupid kids and will all (hopefully) be stupid/cranky elders

Im really looking forward to shaking a fist stick or shotgun in the air and telling someone to "get of my lawn"

[Ted S.]

Next time you could always bluff that you have a dash cam in the back thay recorded him. Or you could buy a couple dashcams and go squirrel on the next person who gets excited.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I547 using Tapatalk Edited July 3, 2015 by Ted S.

[Gliderman166]

Water. Duck. Back.
Never argue with a fool.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[jtmaze]

Or put car in park and nicely insist on calling emergency services because you think you ran over him. If drinking or under any type of influence of a controlled substance, he will be gone immediately.


JTM
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Sunfish]

Pedestrians have the right of way but he should have been smart enough to take the child's hand and wait. Anytime your backing up and touch anything or anyone you are at fault. People today want you to hit them. This is evident by the # of people looking down at their phones while walking through busy parking lots. It's also pretty clear when you are sitting with your back up lights on trying to back out and some jerk stops directly behind you for no reason but to push your buttons.