Getting Tailed, what to do

[bud]

. Edited August 6, 2015 by bud

[Mike.357]

 

 

regardless of the guy almost hitting me.

 

 

The thing to remember is the "almost" part.  Nothing happened.  Call it a win.  

 

Glad to read you did not take criticism personally.   I used to be a hothead behind the wheel,  age is the great mellower.  :)

 

Biggest lesson to learn here is never ever flip someone off.  Nothing good has ever come from that.

 

[CommsNBombs]

Bud and Mike.357,

I appreciate the futher insight, I do need to be better at taking the high road and just being zen instead of being a tool.

[10-Ring]

You got out off the situation without using a gun, what better ending could you have had? No reason to ever get put of the vehicle and no reason that a gun should be involved unless you are trapped in traffic or something and the aggressor has exited his vehicle and it's coming towards you. Someone tailing you is hardly a reason to be in fear of your life, just drive towards the police station.

[tnhawk]

The best way to handle situations such as this, is to avoid them to begin with.

Edited March 25, 2015 by tnhawk

[EssOne]

There's another angle to this discussion.....the other guy's actions in responding to an insult. I was in LE for three decades and was expected to exercise "uncommon restraint" at all times. I wish I had a nickle for every time I got flipped off or worse and ignored it. I didn't like it, but I did it anyway because responding to someone else's stupidity can get you into just as much trouble as being the antagonist yourself. When you do that you're letting your ego overload your common sense. The fellow you flipped off was just as much in jeopardy of bad things happening as you were, or worse, and in my book used far worse judgment than you did. But two wrongs still don't make a right. I'm just sayin' there were two sides here and I didn't mean to unload on the OP.

[chances R]

You got the best result in the end. But having a gun should not change your behavior/response other than making you less aggressive and more tolerant. If you carry you must check your ego and understand pulling a gun is the last option. On this occasion glad you didn't have one.

[Omega]

There's another angle to this discussion.....the other guy's actions in responding to an insult. I was in LE for three decades and was expected to exercise "uncommon restraint" at all times. I wish I had a nickle for every time I got flipped off or worse and ignored it. I didn't like it, but I did it anyway because responding to someone else's stupidity can get you into just as much trouble as being the antagonist yourself. When you do that you're letting your ego overload your common sense. The fellow you flipped off was just as much in jeopardy of bad things happening as you were, or worse, and in my book used far worse judgment than you did. But two wrongs still don't make a right. I'm just sayin' there were two sides here and I didn't mean to unload on the OP.

Of that there was no doubt, but the other party is not here to receive his admonishment.  It seems most times we end up preaching to the choir, those who post situations like this are already far ahead of the ones who don't.  The thing is, at the end of the day it could of been two decent guys having a bad day.  I know many things run through my head when confronted by bad drivers, but in the long run its not worth it to become confrontational over an almost traffic accident. I know I have been the one in the wrong a couple of times, but always make it a point to wave as to say "Sorry", many times a little courtesy goes a long way.

[Cruel Hand Luke]

Getting in on this a little late but here goes....

 

Actions have consequences...both intended consequences and unintended consequences.....but they are consequences of the action nonetheless. 

 

Everyone needs to sit down and really think about what they are really willing to die for and willing to die because of and possibly get others with you injured or killed because of. Are you really willing to instigate a lethal force confrontation with your wife or 4 year old daughter present? Or your elderly parents? Or your friends? 

 

Are you REALLY willing to die for making sure you let some careless driver know you don't approve of his driving? Are we REALLY willing to possibly get into a gunfight with our wife present because we can't control our middle finger and our horn? Most people are not really willing to die for that...yet they never give any thought to how their ramping up a situation could very well lead to that through the unintended consequences of their actions.

 

Then we need to sit down and carefully consider what we are really willing to kill someone for. I'm not really willing to kill someone because they accidentally backed out into traffic when it was not clear to do so and it angered me. So you're annoyed...get over it ....life is full of annoyances.  I'm not going to instigate a fight where there did not need to be one to start with.....and THAT is what started this situation. When the other driver backed out, the OP could just easily have stopped and not instigated a confrontation. But because he apparently never considered that someone else MIGHT be willing to kill or injure him (or his wife) over an insult he found himself in a potentially dangerous situation, unarmed, AND with his wife in the car. What happens if the wife gets killed or injured due to our inability to keep our road rage in check? Better to consider that now than have to deal with it later as a consequence of our actions. 

 

Actions have consequences. And instigating a confrontation where a simple wave and driving on would have been far more appropriate is not going to be looked upon kindly by the courts. The REASON that people can act like jackasses in the North is because the likelihood of anyone actually beating their ass or shooting them for yelling and flipping them off is so remote that they never even consider that as a possibility....but down here...nothing is guaranteed. There are people willing to kill you over their jacked up Impala......

 

I told my wife when we started dating that I'm almost always armed in public and that if she loses her $hit and goes full redneck on someone because they do something stupid or careless that she may put me in a position of having to kill someone because she couldn't keep it under control. It really made her reconsider what is TRULY important and under what circumstances it would be appropriate to confront someone. And those situations are VERY few. There is a reason that Heinlein said "an armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his actions with his life". If everyone knows everyone else is armed and willing to confront insults with lethal force then people tend to be far less insulting to their fellow man.   

 

Having said that, once the Impala driver becomes a threat then plan A is to head for the local police station as we IMMEDIATELY dial 911.  This is a situation that could go down hill very fast. So getting on the phone with the police and giving a location and description (and getting you on record as being the victim) will help not only possibly end the situation by leading the guy chasing us to the cops but also help if anything happens that goes to court. You don't ever want to be a participant in mutually agreed upon combat that ends in someone being killed or seriously injured. It needs to be clear that YOU are the VICTIM, not a willing participant.  

 

John Farnam has a saying about avoiding stupid people , stupid places and not doing stupid things. We need to make sure our actions don't paint US as the stupid person doing stupid things....

Edited March 25, 2015 by Cruel Hand Luke

[Caster]

I had a near collision over on Old Hickory Blvd headed to Charlotte a few years ago.  THe guy was pretty pissed but HEY, not one hit anyone and poop happens.  He honked and flipped me off and then followed me for a long ways trying to get me to pull over.  

Back then, there was a large Police department on that end of Charlotte.  I pulled right in there to see what he wanted.  Funny he didn't feel the need to follow me anymore.  

 

 

 

 

Never, ever put yourself into a position of conflict.  Look like a puss, so what?  ALWAYS actively seek the path of least resistance.  

[QuietDan]

Bud and Mike.357,

I appreciate the futher insight, I do need to be better at taking the high road and just being zen instead of being a tool.

 

There is a military/civilian divide here as well. Expectations of conduct in the military and expectations of conduct in the civilian world are two different things. It's a calibration. 

[BigK]

I agree with the idea of avoiding confrontation whenever possible. However, the part I can't get past is what is the actual point of escalation?

 

Getting flipped off in traffic absolutely, positively does NOT give me the right to follow someone, get aggressive, and/or try to turn the situation into a physical confrontation. To me, the bird flipper is not the cause of the escalation. Anyone should be able to flip me off in traffic without fear of me becoming violent...it's just a finger.

 

Nonetheless, I'd dial 911 and head toward a police station, personally. I'd never get out to chat up someone so insane that a finger gesture made them get violent.

[Cruel Hand Luke]

So do you think the impala driver would have chased him down if he'd not hit the horn and flipped the bird? Funny thing is that I don't flip people off and no one follows me....I'd dare say there might be a directly proportional relationship between the two.....

 

Does the insult give the other guy the RIGHT to kill you? Of course not ....but if there is no insult being thrown...there is most likely no problem.....

[A.J. Holst]

The chick in the CRV tailgating me this morning on Topside needs to read this...
Posted 45, we at 50 as is the traffic in front of me and I'm the target of her very unlady - like gestures?

What if I was the king of badassdom who takes nothing off nobody?

Could have slammed on my breaks to teach her a lesson, risking a collision and being force off the road or into oncoming traffic.

I figured she was drunk to account for her behavior.

[KKing]

I'm late to the party, and I believe there has been very sound advice given. Avoid, evade, and so on. I just want to commend the OP for taking advice and criticism like a champ, even admitting wrong. Well done sir Edited March 25, 2015 by KKing

[CommsNBombs]

Been consumed with my wildcat dilemma havent read this again til now.

I really do appreciate the extra input here yall...I think at the core it is a philisophical issue as well, and a mentality thing. Both for myself, others and perhaps all of us.

There is a lot more variables in a situation like this than I had cared to realize, and obviously shooting it out isnt the best way to resolve.

Hopefully it wont come to that, the last 3 nights ive heard gunshots and sirens. Crazy world.

[Guest Dusty83]

just ask yourself "what good could come from it" and i bet next time you won't agitate a person in a high crime neighborhood where they could follow you to your home and kill you while they rape your lady. or maybe you would and shoot someone then be financially drained and still charged with murder. nobody knows but just remember, what good can come from it.

[Oh Shoot]

Been consumed with my wildcat dilemma havent read this again til now.

 

You got an illegal mountain lion too, or what? ;)

 

- OS

[nightrunner]

No offense, but it sounds like you need to move...

[suspiciousmind]

No offense, but it sounds like you need to move...

If you aren't joking, that's a 100 percent uncool thing to say. Aren't we supposed to be showing this man some southern hospitality?

Y'all knuckleheads chill the $&$# out and be nice. Edited March 26, 2015 by suspiciousmind

[rugerla1]

If you aren't joking, that's a 100 percent uncool thing to say. Aren't we supposed to be showing this man some southern hospitality?

Y'all knuckleheads chill the $&$# out and be nice.

I think he meant out of the high crime area?

[suspiciousmind]

I think he meant out of the high crime area?

Heh heh. You're right. I totally read that wrong.

[Dolomite_supafly]

Get pissed all you want but the second you do ANYTING intentionally to instigate the other person, other than honking the horn, you are the instigator. By law a horn is only to be used to avoid an accident. It is not there to tell the person in front of you that the light is green or because you think they are going to slow. Yes, I call people names when they do idiotic things on the road but that is as far as it goes. I know I would bear the majority of the responsibility of I did something to intentionally provoke another and something went real bad.

 

And as Cruel Hand Luke said you need to figure out if what you are going to do is worth it. My wife gets onto me all the time for automatically assuming the worst but that probably keeps me from doing stupid stuff.

 

I will say the one thing that really, really bothers me though is drivers who cross the center line in a curve and forces us off the edge of the road. We will hit the horn every time that happens if we can. I even told my wife I want to install a "panic" button attached to a 170dB air horn but my wife said it is not a good idea and she is probably right but I cannot imagine a more satisfying thing that scaring the living crap out of the driver that just scared the living crap out of us.

[nightrunner]

Heh heh. You're right. I totally read that wrong.

Yeah, I meant out of the bad area. He said himself it's not a good neighborhood. That coupled with he also said later about hearing gunshots and sirens on a regular basis and the lifted Impala tells me I would move. Plenty of nice and calmer places in TN to live.

[tnguy]

I had a near collision over on Old Hickory Blvd headed to Charlotte a few years ago.  THe guy was pretty pissed but HEY, not one hit anyone and poop happens.  He honked and flipped me off and then followed me for a long ways trying to get me to pull over.  

Back then, there was a large Police department on that end of Charlotte.  I pulled right in there to see what he wanted.  Funny he didn't feel the need to follow me anymore.  

 

 

 

 

Never, ever put yourself into a position of conflict.  Look like a puss, so what?  ALWAYS actively seek the path of least resistance.  

 

Had very similar happen to me once over something trivial. The thing is, I can understand a honk, and even a little digital communication but once you start pursuing someone, that's stepping over a line (and into some quite dangerous territory).

Edited March 26, 2015 by tnguy