Monday

[bigun]

I got fired from my job last week at the pork and bean plant. It was a good job I was in charge of putting the beans in the can. But they said I was putting them in upside down, giving everyone the hiccups.

[bersaguy]

Well I have always said it is better to BURP it and taste it than FART it and waste it........................ :up: :up: Sorry about the job. Make sure you file for unemployment.................... :rock:

[et45]

No matter how bad you hate your job just remember somewhere somebody is working in a dildo factory

[Grand Torino]

 

[RED333]

I used to make envelopes, the machine did the printing as well.

All paper had a form number, printed 30,000 one night and went home.

Next day I come in and had 3 big wigs meet me at the door asking if I could spell.

Now I was the last to proof read the plate, it looked good to me.

I asked for the sign off sheet, 2 of the 3 signed off on the plate.

However "FORM" and "FROM" look close alike.

Now the best part, I started the job on 2nd shift,

1st shift ran the job till lunch before it was found.

[vontar]

No matter how bad you hate your job just remember somewhere somebody is working in a dildo factory

 

 Or you could work for Johnson and Johnson.  see below.

 

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]
Try this out:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy
and go to the thermometer section and
purchase a rectal thermometer made
by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the curtains and disconnect the phone
so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that, in small print, there is a statement:


''Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is Personally Tested and then sanitized''.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'

Edited March 24, 2015 by vontar

[hipower]

I don't know which is worse...the job.

Or the fact that we are buying used thermometers.

And I just about cracked up reading the last line. LOLOLOL

[dawgdoc]

You know what's the only difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?  Taste.

[analog_kidd]

I got fired from my job last week at the pork and bean plant. It was a good job I was in charge of putting the beans in the can. But they said I was putting them in upside down, giving everyone the hiccups.

 

You should have poked holes in them to let the gas escape before you eat them.

[AtomicRooster]

I lost my job at the laundromat last week. I had moved up too. I was shaking farts out of shirt tails. Edited March 24, 2015 by AtomicRooster