what would you do

[john455]

My wife and I have a hard decision to make, we have lived in our current house for 20yrs and raised 4 of our 5 children here, we only have a little over 5 yrs left to have it paid off. My wife found out today that her job is moving to OH in 2 months witch sucks but isn't the end of the world. I own a smaller house in Greeneville free and clear and now that her job isn't holding us here we are thinking of moving to the smaller house and letting our son finish paying this one off and giving it to him. The main problem with this is the rest of our children probably aint going to be happy about this lol. He is the oldest, and is already married with 2 children of his own so it just seem logical to me, but my wife seems to think it's not going to go over well with the girls. 

 

 What would you do in this position?

[Links2k]

It's yours to do what you want. I agree with your current plan, but to keep the other kids from being butt hurt I'd sell it and give the kids an equal share of the profits to do as they please. Edited March 17, 2015 by LINKS2K

[ArmyBrat61]

Your house your rules........the son is the eldest with the most need (wife and kids)......you can help the ladies later as you are able, providing they need help....are they married with families?

[FUJIMO]

is he the most responsible of the children ?

[mikegideon]

My wife and I have a hard decision to make, we have lived in our current house for 20yrs and raised 4 of our 5 children here, we only have a little over 5 yrs left to have it paid off. My wife found out today that her job is moving to OH in 2 months witch sucks but isn't the end of the world. I own a smaller house in Greeneville free and clear and now that her job isn't holding us here we are thinking of moving to the smaller house and letting our son finish paying this one off and giving it to him. The main problem with this is the rest of our children probably aint going to be happy about this lol. He is the oldest, and is already married with 2 children of his own so it just seem logical to me, but my wife seems to think it's not going to go over well with the girls. 

 

 What would you do in this position?

 

If they're girls, odds are good that somebody will wind up giving them a house too. :) Seriously, there may not be a good answer. Inheritances can make enemies quicker that anything. Selling the house to him may be the best bet.

[TrickyNicky]

Move into your smaller home, sell the bigger one and use the funds to winter in Boca for a few years. :cheers:

[FUJIMO]

For me it would all depend on thier inheritance, assuming you plan on leaving them anything. I would come up with a figure,divide it among them, and take that much off the price of the house. then whoever wants to buy it at that price can have it. Surely all 5 aren't wanting a house payment,lol.

[john455]

No none of the girls are married yet, all three of them are in long term relationships and will eventually marry their respective boyfriends I believe. Steven is the most responsible of them in my opinion anyway, and he has a good job with very good advancement potential here in Newport. I love the smaller house, I inherited it when my Dad passed, me and Dad loved a lot of the same things, out in the boonies on top of a Round Knob Mountain in Greene County, nearest Neighbor is 1/2 mile away BUEATIFUL!!!

[VERO1]

Sell big house, move into smaller home. Guarantee you will start a feud between kids if you show favoritism to one over the other. Divide proceeds evenly between you and the kids.

[Murgatroy]

I have to echo what has been said before me.

 

Move into the smaller house and sell the big one. If you 'give' it to any of the children the others will become angry and it will tear your family asunder. Take the proceeds from the sale and put it in the bank, let it draw interest will it to the children to be split evenly after you are gone. Or give it to them now. Keeping it in the bank allows it to draw interest, meaning it can be larger down the line, or in case you need it for an emergency.

 

My parents didn't give me a damn thing in this world other than a bad attitude and a lot of bruises, but at the end of the day, while they are horrible people and I don't have but one fond thought, that one fond thought is the relief that I am self reliant. If i have it, it is because I got it, not because anyone gave it to me. Doesn't mean it was the easy way, doesn't mean I like it, doesn't mean I will do the same for my daughter, but it is what it is, and it made me who I am.

 

 

And, I wouldn't breathe a word of this plan to any of the kids. If they got wind of it, odds are good just the idea of it could start tempers flaring. I don't know your family, but I do know that I have seen perfectly normal seeming families fall to complete pieces over money. 

Edited March 17, 2015 by Murgatroy

[Rhodewarrior]

I would sell the house and keep/invest the money for my own retirement.  If the kids are hard working, responsible and living on their own already, prepare for your future.  They can divide up their inheritance when your gone.  Then if down the road one of them does need some financial assistance(i know **** happens) you can provide as needed. :2cents:

[dawgdoc]

What about letting each kid live in it for a few years, and then it passes to the next (starting with the oldest).  Seems somewhat wacky, but that is basically what my family did with cars.  I know that this is a much grander scale.  Just an alternative idea.  

 

If I got to live some place rent/mortgage free for say three years, and I put aside that money each month, I would have a nice down payment for whatever house I would then choose.  Besides, all the current and prospective spouses might want to live in a house that they get to choose rather than get by default.  My wife and I got a bunch of furniture from family as we moved from college to real life; eventually we could start buying what we really wanted, rather than living with what we had.  Similar concept on a grander scale.

 

I used to hear people say that the first house you live in is your starter house, but you don't intend to live there forever.  (I imagine that attitude has changed since recession hit).  If they each got to use it for a few years, it would be their starter house for each couple, yet they would eventually be expected to move on.

[Ted S.]

Buy a case of beer, a few gallons of diesel, get out the lawn chairs, and burn it. That way it's both fair and entertaining. Edited March 17, 2015 by Ted S.

[Mike.357]

Move into your smaller home, sell the bigger one and use the funds to winter in Boca for a few years. :cheers:

 

 

as a former resident of Boca i am not so sure you can afford to winter there for a few years off the simple profit from a house sale.

[Mike.357]

as for the OP's question.  

 

I think you have it right.

 

Where in Ohio?

[john455]

What about letting each kid live in it for a few years, and then it passes to the next (starting with the oldest).  Seems somewhat wacky, but that is basically what my family did with cars.  I know that this is a much grander scale.  Just an alternative idea.  

 

If I got to live some place rent/mortgage free for say three years, and I put aside that money each month, I would have a nice down payment for whatever house I would then choose.  Besides, all the current and prospective spouses might want to live in a house that they get to choose rather than get by default.  My wife and I got a bunch of furniture from family as we moved from college to real life; eventually we could start buying what we really wanted, rather than living with what we had.  Similar concept on a grander scale.

 

I used to hear people say that the first house you live in is your starter house, but you don't intend to live there forever.  (I imagine that attitude has changed since recession hit).  If they each got to use it for a few years, it would be their starter house for each couple, yet they would eventually be expected to move on.

You know as wacky as that seems it actually makes a lot of sense to me, this was their childhood home and they have all expressed a want for it to stay in the family. My wife and I are pretty much set financially, due to some good investments in our younger years (I think I have mentioned my little silver investing/scrapping hobby in the past) that's why her job leaving isn't a huge deal, so selling the house for our retirement isn't appealing, and unless Nancy and I just go completely off script there will be a modest cash inheritance for each of the kids when we pass, so that isn't really a concern either. So I will talk this option over with Nancy and if she sees it liked I do we may give this a go. 

[john455]

as for the OP's question.  

 

I think you have it right.

 

Where in Ohio?

Dover, I never heard of the place myself.

[Pain103]

Determine a family price for the big house and offer it to the first one that will buy it. They still get a good deal but won't seem like favoritism even though it would seem the son with kids needs it rather then unmarried daughters with no children.

[Mike.357]

Dover, I never heard of the place myself.

 

 

looks like greater Cleveland.   oof.    It gets cold there.

[suspiciousmind]

Sell the house, put the money away. If your kids are fine then you've earned it. I would expect my mother or father to do this.

[analog_kidd]

My son and daughter-in-law were living (and renting) in one of my rentals when they got married. They wanted a starter home and asked if I would sell them the rental. I agreed to sell it, and gave them a really good price, but still within the low end range of what houses are selling for in that neighborhood. I still had a hefty mortgage on it, so I had to be able to pay it off. My daughter-in-law had a savings account that her family had been setting aside for her to use for a house, and it had a considerable balance. So, their mortgage on the house is a few hundred bucks a month.

 

Our other son bought a house that was at the top end of his affordability level at the time, and had nothing to speak of  to put down on it. for a while they struggled to make payments each month. His perception is that I basically "gave" my other son a house. It has caused all kinds of turmoil and heartbreak within the family.

 

My recommendation is don't give the house to him. It will only make your daughters feel cheated.

 

Consider selling it and buying a cabin in the woods that you all can use as a getaway. Or sell it and split the cash among all the kids, or put into a trust to purchase a home for each of them. 

Edited March 17, 2015 by analog_kidd

[Trekbike]

What about letting each kid live in it for a few years, and then it passes to the next (starting with the oldest).  Seems somewhat wacky, but that is basically what my family did with cars.  I know that this is a much grander scale.  Just an alternative idea.  

 

If I got to live some place rent/mortgage free for say three years, and I put aside that money each month, I would have a nice down payment for whatever house I would then choose.  Besides, all the current and prospective spouses might want to live in a house that they get to choose rather than get by default.  My wife and I got a bunch of furniture from family as we moved from college to real life; eventually we could start buying what we really wanted, rather than living with what we had.  Similar concept on a grander scale.

 

I used to hear people say that the first house you live in is your starter house, but you don't intend to live there forever.  (I imagine that attitude has changed since recession hit).  If they each got to use it for a few years, it would be their starter house for each couple, yet they would eventually be expected to move on.

 

 

You know as wacky as that seems it actually makes a lot of sense to me, this was their childhood home and they have all expressed a want for it to stay in the family. My wife and I are pretty much set financially, due to some good investments in our younger years (I think I have mentioned my little silver investing/scrapping hobby in the past) that's why her job leaving isn't a huge deal, so selling the house for our retirement isn't appealing, and unless Nancy and I just go completely off script there will be a modest cash inheritance for each of the kids when we pass, so that isn't really a concern either. So I will talk this option over with Nancy and if she sees it liked I do we may give this a go. 

 

If this is something you end up doing make sure you determine how major house repairs would be handled.   Say kid 1 and then kid 2 live in the house for 3 years each and no major repairs are needed.    Kid 3 moves in and the AC unit goes out and needs to be replaced.   Kid 3 is the one that gets unfairly stuck with the bill unless you work out a plan on how to share the repair bill.  

[Alleycat72]

Give them nothing but guidance until you die.

[Grand Torino]

Do what you want with it. It's you're call...not their's.

[E4 No More]

An inheritance isn't an inheritance if you and your wife are alive. It's yours, so sell it if you want to, and if your son wants to buy it then sell it to him at fair market value.