The "Did You Here About" thread.

[glowdotGlock]

Let's hear your cheesy "did you hear about" 1 liners.

Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to drinking brake fluid?

He can stop anytime he wants. Edited October 22, 2014 by glowdotGlock

[hipower]

That's actually a 2 liner. lol

[glowdotGlock]

That's actually a 2 liner. lol

You got me!

[rugerla1]

You got me!

 

 

Now THAT'S a one liner! :rofl:

[broox]

Did you hear the one about all those guys who nitpick everyone's statements?
Yeah, they are all on TGO.

[Ted S.]

Did you hear about Glock's decision to stop making fugly guns?

Yeah...me neither.

[rugerla1]

Did you hear about Glock's decision to stop making fugly guns?
Yeah...me neither.

Ouch!

[K191145]

Well, you know what they used to say in the old country.

 

&#$% it.

[KahrMan]

Did you hear about the basketball player dating a midget?

 

He was nuts over her. 

[cj0e]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

 

Anyone can roast beef.

[LagerHead]

What's the difference between a garage full of 100 dollar bills and a garage full of dead hookers?

 

 

 

I don't have a garage full of 100 dollar bills. 

[glowdotGlock]

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

The porcupine has it's pricks on the outside.

(Sorry if you own a BMW lol)

[glowdotGlock]

You heard about the dislexic devil worshiper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

[JAB]

A couple of oldies but goodies:

 

Did you hear about the difference between a dead possum lying in the road and a dead politician lying in the road?

 

There might be skid marks in front of the possum.

 

 

and

 

 

Did you hear that they finally worked out the difference between Barack Obama and God?

 

God doesn't think he's Obama.

Edited October 21, 2014 by JAB

[Caster]

You know why there's only 2 pallbearers at a muslims funeral?

Well, they ain't but 2 handles on a trash can.

[Grand Torino]

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He felt crummy. :rolleyes:

[gun sane]

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A pool table.

[Caster]

What's the last thing a Tickle Me Elmo doll gets on the assembly line?

 

Two test tickles.

[glowdotGlock]

These are some funny ones! I had to share Elmo

[Grand Torino]

 I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

[gun sane]

If you were to sexually assault a department store mannequin, could they charge you with statutory rape?

Edited October 21, 2014 by gun sane

[Grand Torino]

PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

[.357SIG]

PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

Apparently wives don't find this as funny as we do, I just got the look.........

[Fivestring63]

Sorry to the bikers in advance.

 

 What's the difference between a biker and a vacuum cleaner?

 

The location of the dirt bag.

[cj0e]

What'd the fish say when he swam headfirst into a concrete wall?

 

 

Dam.

 

 

--

 

What's the worst part about hunting for elephants?

 

 

 

Carrying the decoys.

 

--

 

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

 

Unique up on it.

 

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

 

Tame way, unique up on it too.