How to reduce police response time...

[BigK]

A woman calls the police late one night to report people in her shed stealing things. The dispatcher explains that they are very busy and there's no squad car in the area, but that they'll send someone over as soon as possible. 

She hangs up and calls back a minute later to say: "You don't have to hurry now, because I shot them."

Within a matter of minutes 6 squad cars, a dozen officers, a K-9 unit, plus helicopters and an armed response unit show up at her house and happen to catch the burglars red-handed.

The officer in charge says to the woman: "I thought you said you'd shot them."

She replies: "I thought you said you didn't have anyone available."

[maroonandwhite]

A classic!

[bersaguy]

Hey , I actually did that and it works.     I didn't shoot the two guys but did tell dispatcher since I was going back to bed I was just going to shoot both of them in the back of the head and go back to bed. Heard sirens in about 30 seconds and dispatcher said it would be 20 to 30 minutes.

[runco]

That was funny! 

[bersaguy]

That was funny! 

It was about 2AM and I was not in a good mood catching to guys in my garage stealing my high dollar fishing gear from my bass boat ........ :rant: ..........Was not in a mood to put up with a sorry butt dispatcher............. :up:

Edited August 28, 2014 by bersaguy

[TMF]

Ha, reminds me of a domestic incident that occurred with a violent male neighbor of mine and my wife (while she was 4 months pregnant). She calls me at work crying uncontrollably saying that she has locked herself in the bedroom with the shotgun.

I'm screaming across town back home and call 911. Told them the situation. They said they'd get someone out there "soon". I told them they'd better get there before I do. They did.


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[Murgatroy]

I had a road rage incident once, told the dispatcher that I was stopping my car because I had reached my destination, that I was armed, and as I had a small child with me, I was in fear for her life.

 

They had a cruiser there before I found a parking spot.

[gregintenn]

My friend woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of his truck driving out his driveway. He called 911. The lady on the phone told hime he'd need to call the sherrif's dispatch. He looked up the number, called, and the same lady answered. He didn't think it was funny, but it sort of tickled me.

[bersaguy]

My friend woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of his truck driving out his driveway. He called 911. The lady on the phone told hime he'd need to call the sherrif's dispatch. He looked up the number, called, and the same lady answered. He didn't think it was funny, but it sort of tickled me.

ya gotta love them double jurisdiction 911 dispatchers.........Numbers do make the difference........... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: