Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

[Luckyforward]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for

a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he

recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all

the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: You know the difference between that chicken and a

hockey Mom? Lipstick!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that

little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me

uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every

chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves t o cross the

road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the

road. We just to want to know if the chicken is on our side of the

road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There

is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see

the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is

your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I

am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was

misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not fo r it now, and

will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black

chickens.

DR.PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't

realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of

the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the

road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's

acting by not taking on his cur rent problems before adding new

problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,

which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of

having the chicken learn from his m istakes and take falls, which

is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he

can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest

of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a

chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the

other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!

You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken

was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell

my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird

gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a

toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've

not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see

the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side. ' Yes,

my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you

will beco me gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort

out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with

seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken

should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as

that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good

enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will

be listen ing to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart

warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and

went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads

tog ether, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only

cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and

balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integr! al part of

eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never

craÃ. #@&&^(C%...........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the

road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

[ShaunM]

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

[Curiousgb]

To show the Opossum it could be done.

[Magiccarpetrides]

lol.

[Guest jwp]

[ame]

[/ame]

[molonlabetn]

...because the chicken's pimp told her to work a different block for a change.

[Volzfan]

[DWARREN123]

I thought the chicken crossed the road to get away from all the politician critters, they smell bad!

[Guest eyebedam]

Thats a pretty good one.

[strob2000]

Very funny, and unfortunately very true!

[skipsfirearms]

Love it!!!

[Guest roamer]

why is there an "O" in possum ?

[Almond27]

I loved the Jerry Falwell answer had me laughing hard.