Condom joke

[Tuffus]

Just had to pass this one along.

 

I was 14 when I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Walgreen's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Becky) knew what they were for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was.

'Just a minute,' she said, and walked me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the  condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 

'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. 

I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

Then she beat the crap out of me....

Women have always been hard for me to figure out.

 

 

[hipower]

GREAT!!!

[xjsnake]

I almost fell out of my chair laughing!

[Mike.357]

and I was expecting the old joke about asking the pharmacist for rubbers then showing up on his doorstep to take his daughter out. 

[vontar]

read that one a while back.  Also like Mike, I was expecting the other related joke.

[analog_kidd]

I thought it was going to be the one where the kids asks how much the box of condoms are?

The clerk says "$10 bucks".

Kids says "I'll take them".

Clerks rings it up and says "That'll be $11".

Kid says "I thought you said they were $10. What's the extra dollar for?"

Clerks says "That's for the tax".

Kid says "Oh, I always wondered how you kept them on".

 

(Clerk said tax, kid heard tacks. The joke translates better when spoken)

[gregintenn]

A duck walks into the pharmacy and asks to purchase a condom. The clerk rings up the sale and asks, "Will that be cash or charge?"

 

The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."

:D

[Johnny Rotten]

What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
Turn them into a tire and call it a
Good.... Year!!

[vontar]

An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American: "Of course."
Frenchman: "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states."
The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of Course."
Frenchman: "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to the states." After a moment of silence,
The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France.

 

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/80881443/

[bersaguy]

The Military got a shipment of Condoms in by accident. The shipping clerk didn't know what to do with them so he ask his commanding office what he should do with them. The Commander looked at him and said mark all the cases with the word "SMALL" and send them to the Kremlin............... :usa:

Edited August 10, 2014 by bersaguy

[Steelharp]

The Military got a shipment of Condoms in by accident. The shipping clerk didn't know what to do with them so he ask his commanding office what he should do with them. The Commander looked at him and said mark all the cases with the word "SMALL" and send them to the Kremlin............... :usa:

TRUE story... in WWII, Churchill had a condom company make huge condoms to put over rifles to protect them from the elements. In typical British humour, he had them marked "Property of UK size medium."

[Joe357]

A man takes a sex enhancing drug and has an erection that has lasted for over a day. So, he goes to his local drug store. He goes to the counter to talk to the pharmacist who is a young lady. He drops his pants and asks her what she can give him for this. The lady pharmacist asks him to wait there because she has to go into the back room to talk to her sister. After two minutes she returns and says.

She can give him $10,000.00 and half share in the business ;)