My life has been threatened what do I do

[Wingshooter]

Hey everyone thank you all for the info and advice you have given, I am currently in Murfreesboro on a contract job so when I get some extra time I will post back with more info on what's been going, how it got started etc when I get the time again from the deepest place I can think of thank you all

I hope everything works out for you.

I think an important piece of the puzzle includes whether she came to you to tell you that some wacko was stalking her, or whether you found out about her communications some other way. If she reported a problem with some guy bothering her, then I think that is different than if you just discovered their chatting on your own.

[ironsniper1]

Ok here is what I know, she started to talk to this guy a long time ago in a online game and at the time as far as I know nothing happend, then she started buying and selling bitcoins and she got other people she knew into it which included this guy,

She got him into another game we both play were you can earn money, well they started Talking and from what she has told me is that they just made a connection

According to her a connection that is stronger than what we have, now we have talked about this and she says she does not want to leave me

But she says I need to fight for her as in get a job and change myself in certain ways, before anyone says anything I am and have been searching for a job for a long while now,

After the threat was made I begged her to block him and stop talking to him but she will not do it, I am trying to save as much stuff as I can but the only things I can't get anything from is her skype and Facebook,

So for now we are still together but I have a feeling that will change

[E4 No More]

I have a question, has the dude mentioned that he's bought a box of adult diapers?

[ironsniper1]

I hope everything works out for you.

I think an important piece of the puzzle includes whether she came to you to tell you that some wacko was stalking her, or whether you found out about her communications some other way. If she reported a problem with some guy bothering her, then I think that is different than if you just discovered their chatting on your own.

I found out on my own

[E4 No More]

Ok here is what I know, she started to talk to this guy a long time ago in a online game and at the time as far as I know nothing happend, then she started buying and selling bitcoins and she got other people she knew into it which included this guy,

She got him into another game we both play were you can earn money, well they started Talking and from what she has told me is that they just made a connection

According to her a connection that is stronger than what we have, now we have talked about this and she says she does not want to leave me

But she says I need to fight for her as in get a job and change myself in certain ways, before anyone says anything I am and have been searching for a job for a long while now,

After the threat was made I begged her to block him and stop talking to him but she will not do it, I am trying to save as much stuff as I can but the only things I can't get anything from is her skype and Facebook,

So for now we are still together but I have a feeling that will change

Dude, seriously, run! Let the other dude have her. "Fight" for her? It's one thing to compete with another guy for that initial attention from her, but you don't marry someone when there's still that "fight" going on, PERIOD! She either loves you or she doesn't; end of story. This is coming from a man who's been married to my one and only wife for over 35 years. We got married when I was 18 and she 17.

 

EDIT: And women claim that men have commitment issues! :shrug:

Edited July 28, 2014 by SWJewellTN

[MacGyver]

From your description, the relationship shows a lack of maturity on at least one side.  While you may not be there today, you'll probably be thankful in the future looking back at this event.

 

You really need to examine what this relationship looks like should you continue down the path with her. If you think it's hard now - wait until you get married and real problems present themselves.

 

At the very least I'd suggest some good premarital counseling.

[peejman]

Yep, that just reinforces my prior opinion...

 

 

[rugerla1]

I hate that you're in this situation, truly, I do. But in my opinion, NOTHING good can come out of this if you stay. I pray you gain strength enough to follow through and end this. My heart actually hurts for you as I know it won't be easy. But several sentences above lead me to my opinion.

[Raoul]

Hey everyone thank you all for the info and advice you have given, I am currently in Murfreesboro on a contract job so when I get some extra time I will post back with more info on what's been going, how it got started etc when I get the time again from the deepest place I can think of thank you all

Best of luck and CYA.

[TripleDigitRide]

Is your girlfriend 15 years old?

[cjohnson44546]

.....well they started Talking and from what she has told me is that they just made a connection

According to her a connection that is stronger than what we have, now we have talked about this and she says she does not want to leave me

But she says I need to fight for her ......

After the threat was made I begged her to block him and stop talking to him but she will not do it.....

 

Time to say bye to her... right now... not later, or see what happens... tell her to get lost.  Even if somehow you "win" her today, you see how she is, and this will be a reoccurring problem for years until you go through a horrible divorce... and if you have children with her, you'll never be rid of her.

[KKing]

Only 2 things I take away from this: 1) Run. Run far, far away and never return. 2) Stop playing Internet video games Edited July 28, 2014 by KKing

[tartanphantom]

This thread reads like a twisted David Lynch film...

Edited July 28, 2014 by tartanphantom

[LagerHead]

Ok here is what I know, she started to talk to this guy a long time ago in a online game and at the time as far as I know nothing happend, then she started buying and selling bitcoins and she got other people she knew into it which included this guy,

She got him into another game we both play were you can earn money, well they started Talking and from what she has told me is that they just made a connection

According to her a connection that is stronger than what we have, now we have talked about this and she says she does not want to leave me

But she says I need to fight for her as in get a job and change myself in certain ways, before anyone says anything I am and have been searching for a job for a long while now,

After the threat was made I begged her to block him and stop talking to him but she will not do it, I am trying to save as much stuff as I can but the only things I can't get anything from is her skype and Facebook,

So for now we are still together but I have a feeling that will change

 

Dude, do the hard thing now. I'm telling you, if money is the most important thing to her, you won't ever be able to make her happy. You can't buy love. You can buy plenty of lust, but it ain't the same thing. There is someone out there who will appreciate you for who you are, even when who you are is a broke ass man. And if there isn't, sometimes you can have a lot of fun looking. 

[UncleJak]

If you have to change for someone OR they have to change for you, it will never work. Sent barefoot from the hills of Tennessee

[Raoul]

Redux...

Lose the fiance.

[Hozzie]

According to her a connection that is stronger than what we have

 

I begged her to block him and stop talking to him but she will not do it

 

This is all you need to know, you aren't #1 or quite honestly probably not #2 either.  If you live with her and it is her place, move out.  If it's your place and you can't afford it now without her, move out.  Hopefully you have some family and/or friends to lean on, but don't lean on or just stick around because she may be able to support you.  

 

Get your ducks in a row and get the hell away from her asap.

Edited July 28, 2014 by Hozzie

[Hershmeister]

Sorry to hear this - tough to have someone treat u like this. Advice here is on the mark. Good news is she just saved you a bunch of trouble since this is before the wedding

[Glock30]

Based on the OP's further response, it sounds like she WANTS the attention. She wants "proof" that she is worthy of affection.

 

She's doing you a favor and telling you that you really don't need her in your life... before marriage, before lawyers make your life interesting, before she can make you even more miserable than you may already be.

 

You're getting great (and greatly consistent) advice here: RUN!

 

Good luck.

[79troublehead]

ditch the bitch.

[Lumber_Jack]

Every marriage required work and effort on both parties. But for her to tell you "you gotta fight for me", is very immature. She's emotionally cheated on you. This can be reconciled but only with cutting off the third party and the "mode of communication" that brought it on to begin with. That's step #1, step #2 is counseling, then you decide further steps. If she doesn't agree to #1, the step #2 is that you leave her behind. Sever all ties, and communication. Walk away and don't look back. It's very hard, I've done it with an old girlfriend , but it is a necessity step to not get lulled back into this bad relationship

[NoBanStan]

Ok here is what I know, she started to talk to this guy a long time ago in a online game and at the time as far as I know nothing happend, then she started buying and selling bitcoins and she got other people she knew into it which included this guy,

She got him into another game we both play were you can earn money, well they started Talking and from what she has told me is that they just made a connection

According to her a connection that is stronger than what we have, now we have talked about this and she says she does not want to leave me

But she says I need to fight for her as in get a job and change myself in certain ways, before anyone says anything I am and have been searching for a job for a long while now,

After the threat was made I begged her to block him and stop talking to him but she will not do it, I am trying to save as much stuff as I can but the only things I can't get anything from is her skype and Facebook,

So for now we are still together but I have a feeling that will change

 

Well of course they have a good connection.... as a gamer you probably have at least a 30mbps pipe!

 

I kid.... I kid.....

 

Seriously though, as a gamer myself, you gotta handle your business, job included. Real life should come first. But that should be done for YOU at this point, not her. Likely you'd wind up getting that big career and providing her with everything she's ever wanted.... meanwhile Mr. level 90 paladin is able to get nudey pics of her because all she has with him is fun, there's no work involved. Then, even if she left you for him... he'd receive the same treatment down the road when the newness wore off.

 

I've known tons of what i call "guild girls" over the years. Always looking for the next internet white knight to sweep them off their feet. They're really just the groupies of MMO life.....

 

Not to generalize your fiance, but if she's doin that now, she'll be doing it later. Situations may change, but people don't. You should accept that now.

 

Step back and view your life with her from another persons perspective. What advice would you give them? Wouldn't you be tempted to say "she's still talking to him? She obviously wants that attention".

[tartanphantom]

According to her a connection that is stronger than what we have, now we have talked about this and she says she does not want to leave me

But she says I need to fight for her as in get a job and change myself in certain ways,

 

This tells me that you "lost" her long before now.

Move on. She's not worth the trouble. To her, you're just the ace-in-the-hole in the event the internet dude drops her.

Get out now while you still have some shred of self-esteem.

 

 

And don't even think about looking back.

Edited July 28, 2014 by tartanphantom

[Sam1]

Every marriage required work and effort on both parties. But for her to tell you "you gotta fight for me", is very immature. She's emotionally cheated on you. This can be reconciled but only with cutting off the third party and the "mode of communication" that brought it on to begin with. That's step #1, step #2 is counseling, then you decide further steps. If she doesn't agree to #1, the step #2 is that you leave her behind. Sever all ties, and communication. Walk away and don't look back. It's very hard, I've done it with an old girlfriend , but it is a necessity step to not get lulled back into this bad relationship

 

Bingo! 

[TMF]

Anyone who says you need to "fight to keep them" should be discarded immediately. Never, ever fight to "win" or "keep" a lady. If she doesn't think you're good enough for her, than she is definitely not relationship material. It will end badly eventually once you stop living up to her expectations. Girls seem to be raised to think that the onus is on the man to achieve some level of worthiness to win a relationship. That is a materialistic view of how a relationship should work. A relationship should be built on a foundation of mutual love and respect. The second a person says they deserve better, help them out and set them free.