Paying it Forward and Maintaining Faith in People

[TMF]

I consider myself a good judge of character, however, recently I placed my faith in several seemingly good people and did some very big favors, only to be screwed hard by those people. Adding insult to injury would be several other events occurring over the past few weeks in which I had no control over and had depend on folks to do the right thing, only to be let down big time and suffer the negative consequences. Understandably, I have been pretty upset, and have rapidly expanded a few peoples' vocabulary and tossed a few nuke rounds in recent days. The end result was making a pact with myself that I will never, ever put myself out there for a stranger again, nor will I trust anyone who is not verified. Up until now, I've used my keen sense of a person's character to determine who is worthy of my trust. Now I've resolved that close friends and family are the only folks who deserve it. Then yesterday, a series of unforeseen events unfolded at exactly the wrong time, which seems to be a trend this month. I found myself in a catastrophic situation in a place far from home and far from those I depend on, and I required immediate assistance from a stranger. Much to their inconvenience and potential hazard, a good person stepped in and gave me a hand. It was something they didn't have to do and could have easily gone past, but they didn't. What bothers me today is that I never had the opportunity to thank this person, due to the circumstances. I wish I could thank him for not only his help, but also for restoring my faith in people. If not for this person I would have been in a very bad situation which would have become much worse. Afterward, I thought about if this person didn't exist and no one came to my aid. We live in a society of growing indifference to our fellow man, and I believe my recent declaration has made me part of the problem. If roles had been reversed, would I have done the same thing? Before, absolutely. Now, not so much. So I'm recanting the pact I made, and I owe some serious karma to my fellow man, even if it means assuming risk. If I get screwed, I'm gonna be okay with that. We shouldn't let those that would take advantage of us change who we are, or stop us from doing the right thing. I know I'm more cynical and callous than the vast majority of society, but I'm not gonna let that affect my decision making. Now that I'm finally home with my wonderful wife and kids, the unbridled rage that I've had toward those that effed me doesn't seem to burn hot anymore. The only things I want to remember about the past few weeks are the people who helped me, and why that is more important than the people who screwed me. Sorry for being so vague, but I didn't want to type a seemingly endless bitch session about all the wrongs in my world. I hope this helps a few folks out who have lost faith in people, and I hope there are a few others who will find inspiration to perpetrate some random acts of kindness. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Oh Shoot]

I'm older than you, and can assure you that the adage is certainly more true that not that "few good deeds go unpunished". On the other hand, yes, I still do some, as "few" does not equate to "all".

 

Life's a delicate balance between lots of opposing principles, and avoiding being a sucker yet remaining humane is just one of them.

 

Sounds like you may have come close to a Bad Thing happening, so I'm quite glad that balance swung to your side in the matter!

 

- OS

Edited July 19, 2014 by Oh Shoot

[peejman]

I'm older than you, and can assure you that the adage is certainly more true that not that "few good deeds go unpunished". On the other hand, yes, I still do some, as "few" does not equate to "all".

Life's a delicate balance between lots of opposing principles, and avoiding being a sucker yet remaining humane is just one of them.

- OS

Yep. Well said.

Life gets pretty sucky from time to time, hang in there. The bad helps you appreciate the good.

[TrickyNicky]

It's one of those facts of life. People can be incredibly cruel, and they can be utterly selfless. Is what it is.

[R_Bert]

I had two guys help me last week.  One a long time friend, the other I had only met - but in my words "he wanted to help".  And help he did.

 

These two men did something I could not do alone, and traveled many hundreds of miles to work most of two days under a grueling sun, just because they wanted to. 

 

There are rare, but amazing souls out there, and most times, we will never be able to pay their true worth.

[MacGyver]

You know, life's really short.

Faith And hope are good things. The world is a cruel place, but I kind of believe that only by putting ourselves out there for others can we really put ourselves in a position to really receive the help others give us.

Call it karma, do unto others, whatever... Regardless, life's just really short.

[TripleDigitRide]

I don't think your apprehension is necessarily a bad thing, or even all that uncommon, especially after recently being burned. I'd say it's perfectly natural. 

 

I've been screwed over more times than I can to remember, but I try not to let it prevent me from helping others. I'm probably slightly more selective, but there are people who truly need and deserve the help.

[RED333]

What the hell good are we if we can not help each other out from time to time.

That said, my good will has been abused, I will not abuse some others.

 

Last month I gave a man some money for gas, he was on the side of the road

out of gas, he did promise to send the money back, not seen it yet.

 

Give more than you get,

you will get more than you need.

This is true for the good and bad you do in life.

 

TMF, it all works out in the end.

[Mike.357]

Mac's post was spot on.

 

TMF Karma will equal it out for you.  Don't let others make you different.

[nightrunner]

I have been in a position in life where I was doing better than some others around me and I helped them out when I knew they couldn't pay it back but I could tell they needed it and I couldn't not do something. I honestly thought it was done at that point. Nope. Couple years later I was in their position needing help and thankfully there were people around to help me when I truly needed it. So if I am able to help someone, I will. You never know what the future holds for you.

[Grand Torino]

There's some sort of reasoning that equates "good guys" and the phrase "There's a sucker born every minute". I've been burned a lot in my life but never by the same person twice. I try to do the right thing...it's what I was taught but my parents while growing up in the 50's and 60's. I was also taught to let every you can know when some asshole does you wrong and I do that as well. Life is a bitch sometimes....

[runco]

Here is something to ponder, it has worked for me for over 40 years:

• It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.  (Psalm 118:8)
• Put no trust in a neighbor; have no confidence in a friend; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms; (Micah 7:5)
• It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.  (Psalm 118:9)
• Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8)

 

http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/

[Dustbuster]

Glad you're back in check.
What usually doesn't kill us should make us stronger
Karma can be a mofo and the karma train never stops.

Don't let others mistake kindness for weakness.

There are those that cannot help themselves usually children and animals. Most people get into shit because they allowed themselves.
I've dealt with demons and angels, demons outweigh angels. Always.
Welcome back home keep your guard up but don't spend life on guard duty


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2 of course it ate my spelling.

[bersaguy]

I try each day to earn something new. Sometimes I learn a bad lesson and sometimes I learn a good lesson. I do my best to learn from both. Learning is the most important part of both lessons................jmho

[A.J. Holst]

In the Christian faith we are called to help others, what has gotten lost is helping those who need a hand up not a hand out. The most un-Christian card to play is for the looter to use guilt to get the producer to provide for his or her needs. The Bible is filled with God's Word to produce and take care of one's self as long as one is able.
We can only do our best and know even if we are taken advantage of by a looter that we are rewarded in the spirit of doing the right thing.

[jonnnyboy]

Been burned many times.  I try not to let it bother me as I've learned that my own energy, time and thinking are wasted if I dwell on the negatives of those around me.  The quicker I can forgive and move on, the quicker I can get back to the things I really want to be focused on.  Lessons I learned from my Mom and Dad and Sunday School.  They've worked for me for over 50 years now.

 

I'm glad things worked out for you TMF.  Put it behind you and be who you feel led to be. 

[Tncobra]

I can't post to "Pay it forward" here on TGO?

 

Anyway,

Doing good things for people is who you are. Stopping this only changes who you are, not them. I think I have a good ratio of not being burnt, to getting burnt.

 

"Do good things, good things happen."  My Name Is Earl.

[BigK]

"Do good things, good things happen."  My Name Is Earl.

 

Randy: What's karma?

Earl: I don't know, it's something Carson Daly came up with.

good stuff!!

[LagerHead]

I'm glad you went through the troubles that ended up putting you in a position of need. I would hate for you to have gone the rest of your life without again knowing the joy that comes from helping others. I know people can be real a-holes, but as you saw first hand, they can be pretty awesome for no reason at all too. You can choose to focus on the worst or you can focus on the best. One will cause only you stress and bitterness, the other will not only be good for you, but affect the people around you. 

 

Keep your chin up.