The Rules women need to know when dealing with men.

[vontar]

A friend put this on my Facebook.  To good to not sure.  I am sure many of you will find many number 1 rules that you have personally dealt with.

 

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys’ side of the story. (I MUST ADMIT, IT’S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR ‘THE RULES’ FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON’T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE…

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY ‘NOTHING,’ WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE…REALLY.

1.. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING…

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN – TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH…

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN – TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

Source: Hellou.com

 

[runco]

This is great!

[bigun]

I understand why they all are number one. 

[TNMTBik3r]

Along with sleeping on the couch, add when you get mad and go sleep in the other bedroom, it is just more room for me to be comfortable.

Several exes, my wife and some friend's wives think that is punishment but none of us mind it for a night.

[mikegideon]

There is so much truth that I'm afraid to use it. :)

[enfield]

1. All men are pigs. Get used to it.

[mikegideon]

1. All men are pigs. Get used to it.

 

I am

[kieefer]

I would like to modify a rule; DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL, MOTOR SPORTS, GUNS OR SEX.

[nightrunner]

1. If a man says he will fix something, he will. No need to remind him about it every 6 months.

[atlas3025]

Those are great.  I don't remember where I first saw this, but I thought it was good too.

 

Edited July 20, 2014 by atlas3025

[Dustbuster]

Those are great. I don't remember where I first saw this, but I thought it was good too.

You can also ad lib that last line a thousand ways like:

she'll crap when she's sees my new : fill In blank

I spent 500 bucks on ammo

Why can't u be like your sister lol



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2 of course it ate my spelling.

[A.J. Holst]

1. Be honest, when you say, "you're a grown man, do whatever the f@$# you want, " you really don't mean it.

[enfield]

I know a guy who wanted to buy a tractor (not me).  His wife resisted, but finally said "Fine, go ahead".

 

He did.

 

It wasn't permission, it was a dare.

 

She didn't speak to him for 3 weeks.

 

Depending on your point of view, you might say he won twice.

[Wyldk2]

Yes,

 

I am learning first hand on this.

 

When women tell you they don't care what you do, It means they want you to do something else. When women tell you to do what you want to do it means they want you to read their minds and do something with them instead.

 

Forget trying to read their minds, it is impossible. And if one could, would he really want to?

 

Don't do anything that would make them want to suspect you of something for which they told you not to do... Eventually you will get caught.

 

Even though I'm not married, I know this. Happy wife= Happy Life/ Happy girlfriend=Happy life.

[toby1304]

My wife told me that if our son ever got a motorcycle it would be because I bought it for him with my own money. Two weeks later for his birthday, I bought him a motorcycle. After she finally spoke to me again, her first statement was , "I can't believe you did'nt discuss this with me!"