A little humor Nymphomaniac Convention

[bersaguy]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,

"What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.


Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, " Tonto Goldstein , but my friends call me Bubba."

[Monkeyman2500]

:)

[TripleDigitRide]

:rofl: 

I actually laughed out loud.

[hipower]

:rofl: 

I actually laughed out loud.

 

Yes, so did I. Needed a chuckle this afternoon.

[BrasilNuts]

That's the best one I've heard in a while...bravo!

[Ted S.]

Thanks for this one. :clap:

[BigK]

wife liked it, thanks

[bersaguy]

I thought we needed a little humor since everything I have been reading recently has been so serious that folks needed a laugh.............. :rock: :rock:

[Caster]

Skip to 1:50 of the video.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rsOSbCOy1sU

[TerryW]

Definition of a nymphomaniac - A woman that wants to have sex 1 more time than you do!

[Dustbuster]

best one ive heard in a long time ! good one to throw at a woman as well thanks bersa A++ :rofl:  :up:  :woohoo:

Bucky Goldstein was good hahaha

Edited March 5, 2014 by Dustbuster

[Hotrod]

Funny... Thanks I needed that...

[whitewolf001]

Such lolz, much ha...

[Grunt67]

:rofl: 

I actually laughed out loud.

 

 As did I. LOL

[quickbiscuit]

Love it! My wife enjoyed as well. Haha!

[Mark@Sea]

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.

He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

“Oh, come on in!” Peggy Sue’s mother said as she welcomed Fred in. “So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?” she asked.

“Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach.”

“Peggy likes to screw, you know,” Mom informed him.

“Uh…really?” Fred replied, with raised eyebrows. â€Is that so?” asked Fred, incredulous.

“Yes,” said the mother. “As a matter of fact, she’d screw all night if we let her!”

“Well, thanks for the tip,” Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

“Have fun, kids,” the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.

“The TWIST, Mom!” she angrily yelled at her mother.

“THE DAMN DANCE IS CALLED THE TWIST!!!”

[hipower]

On 3/3/2014 at 1:39 PM, bersaguy said:

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,

"What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.


Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, " Tonto Goldstein , but my friends call me Bubba."

I had forgotten just how great this was!

[bersaguy]

8 hours ago, hipower said:

I had forgotten just how great this was!

I forgot I even posted it. 2014 seems like and eternity ago.........

[Sunfish]

The difference between me and a Nymphomaniac is I can be satisfied 

[bersaguy]

15 minutes ago, Sunfish said:

The difference between me and a Nymphomaniac is I can be satisfied 

Is being satisfied the same and not wanting any more?

[res308]

43 minutes ago, bersaguy said:

Is being satisfied the same and not wanting any more?

No. Just not wanting any more til I can go get a sammich and then come back. 

[Ronald_55]

1 hour ago, res308 said:

No. Just not wanting any more til I can go get a sammich and then come back. 

Be like George from Sienfeld  EAT during. Take care of that. 

Edited July 31, 2018 by Ronald_55
Spell check sux