Should I stop trying to get my wife to consider a semi-auto?

[JReedEsq]

My wife didn't grow up with guns and initially had no interest in shooting when I bought my first pistol and got an HCP about 4-5 years ago.  Initially, she said she didn't have any interest in having her own pistol she just wanted to understand how to use and safely my pistols since we do have guns in the house.   I started her out about a year ago with a .22lr conversion slide on one of my Glocks 22.  She did fine with that and can shoot my Glock 17 (full-size 9mm) OK, although she doesn't care for the grip and feel of Glocks.  She shot my 27 (subcompact .40) exactly one time before declaring it a "cannon" and said she thought it was going to jump out of her hand.  She is a very small person and even though I've tried to teach her proper technique on how to rack the slide of a semi-auto, she still says she can't and seems just a little intimidated by loading magazines and semi-autos in general.  A little more than a year ago I bought a Ruger LCR with a big dot sight on it and installed the big cushy Houge Tamer grip for it.  I like the pistol but when I shoot it I think it definitely has more recoil than either of my full-size Glocks and probably even a little more than my 27.  My wife on the other hand doesn't find it harsh at all.  She has recently expressed an interest in getting a permit and when I took her to the range the other day I had her try out my LCP and mentioned having her try out some other small semi-autos.  She put one magazine through the LCP before declaring that it has more recoil than the LCR and the sight picture is terrible, she doesn't want to shoot it again and isn't that interested in trying out a shield or any other pistols.  

 

Before you guys chime in to tell me I'm just to lazy to look for another caliber at Wal-Mart and Academy, my thoughts on the LCP are that I already own it (rarely carry it) and that it might be something she might actually carry on her body if she gets a permit.  She says she'd just like to get the permit and isn't that concerned about how to carry.  I also wanted her to try a few other semi-autos before declaring that she doesn't like any of them.  Specifically, I believe that small semi-autos recoil less than small revolvers.  That said, I do feel like the grip, trigger and sights of the LCR are far better than a J-frame or the Ruger LCP.  After our last range trip though, she's really starting to shoot her LCR more accurately and I'm wondering if I should just back off and let her stick that pistol and revolvers in general.      

[Garufa]

Stick with the LCR if that's what she's comfortable with.  Semi-autos are not for everyone and there's nothing wrong with that.

Edited January 22, 2014 by Garufa

[Caster]

Worst thing you'll ever do is force something on her.
If she likes revolvers, run with it.
Do what you do and do it well.


Here, show her this video and tell her a revolver in the hands of a Jedi Master is as good as ANY semi auto ever made.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lLk1v5bSFPw

[gregintenn]

My wife shoots with us quite a bit. She doesn't care for any semi auto. She carries an old flat latch model 37 Smith and Wesson, and can accurately fire a model 29 until you run out of ammo. She doesn't care for the feeling of moving parts as the gun fires.

 

My solution; let her shoot revolvers!

 

I actually prefer revolvers as well, but lately I have become more and more partial to the flat shape or a semi for carrying.

[maroonandwhite]

Worst thing you'll ever do is force something on her.
If she likes revolvers, run with it.
Do what you do and do it well.


Here, show her this video and tell her a revolver in the hands of a Jedi Master is as good as ANY semi auto ever made.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lLk1v5bSFPw

 

This 1000 times. I pressured my wife in the beginning to get her permit and she just totally turned her nose up. Just offer advice but don't try to force anything on them gun wise. If she shoot's it well that's the most important thing IMO.

[Jonnin]

My vote is to more or less leave her alone.  ABSOLUTELY let her pick her own carry gun, one that she WILL carry and is happy with.   That said, *encourage* her to *try* a variety of guns, including a shotgun, a rifle, a 1911,  a glock, whatever you can put in her hands.   This has nothing to do with gender or anything else, it is simply my opinion that everyone should shoot at least one round of of just about anything they can have access to.  The exception to that is to avoid extreme recoil, and if she wants to shoot a heavy recoil gun, offer it first with light ammo, and warn her and help her stand/grip/etc before firing it with a big-boy round.  Even I turn down 44 snubbies and brutal magnum rifles... and I like recoil up to a point, love my big 44s. 

 

My approach has been expensive, but I will not complain.  My wife, like many other shooters of any gender, has had a journey to select her EDC, buying and eventually replacing at least 7 pistols over 15 years --- started with a DA/SA 45 in a 1911 frame, pa-63, glock 17, taurus 709, sig 380,  taurus 22 mag revolver,  ruger 357 revolver, and I am sure I missed a couple in there.  She now likes revolvers best, absolutely hated them 10 years ago.  

 

So, while I recommend exposure, it can lead to spending $$ every few years.  At least 1/2 of her picks were due to liking one that she was allowed to try out.

[hipower]

Worst thing you'll ever do is force something on her.
If she likes revolvers, run with it.
Do what you do and do it well.


Here, show her this video and tell her a revolver in the hands of a Jedi Master is as good as ANY semi auto ever made.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lLk1v5bSFPw

 

My wife used to shoot with me a bit. She always preferred revolvers as well. Perhaps the simplicity of the revolver is overstated, but she, and your wife as well it seems, has no interest in handling an autoloader. And in recent years, a little carpal tunnel and artriris has crept in, so it's pretty much set in stone for her. Revolvers only.  

[Caster]

See my wife hates revolvers. All of them. Tried pursuade her once......started a butt chewing I could have done without. Shoulda known better.

Ever the stupid one, I pushed her to shoot with me regularly. She got burned out and hasn't been to the range in years for any kind casual shooting. Once or twice a year she will go to a private range to blow the dust out of her carry pistol. She always hits her mark with remarkable accuracy. Her thoughts on that?........"See there, it still works and so do I. No reason to burn a bunch of ammo I might need for zombies or hippies one day. "

[tnguy]

What are you shooting through the LCR? I'm presuming 38s?

 

My wife isn't confident with the slides on semi-autos. After trying it a few times, we decided to go with the LCR and she's much happier. I'd rather she had something she was comfortable using than something that added extra stress into any situation.

 

That's not to say you shouldn't offer to let her try other stuff from time to time but she knows what she likes and it's probably best to respect that.

[peejman]

What they said.  If she's content, leave it be. 

 

Personally, I don't like the small revolvers.  For me, it's muzzle/cylinder blast more than it is recoil.  I find the muzzle blast on any snubby objectionable.  I don't much care for a 4" .357 either (the *BOOM* is fun, but it gets old fast), but my 4" .45 doesn't bother me.  I think my P3AT has significant recoil and its so small that it's hard to hang onto.  It's ok for me, but my wife hates it.

 

That said, I got her a 9mm Shield for Christmas and she likes it.  While she does both well enough that I'm comfortable with her carrying it, she needs more practice shooting and operating it. I've been pondering sending her to one of the women's classes at Tactical Advantage, perhaps as a VD gift.   http://www.tacticaladvantagecorp.com/training/

Edited January 22, 2014 by peejman

[RagTop454]

Happy Wife = Happy life!

[JReedEsq]

What are you shooting through the LCR? I'm presuming 38s?

 

 

 

I think I started her out with "cowboy" loads from Georgia Arms.  Lately she shoots whatever factory ammo I can find on a shelf with no complaints.  

 

I appreciate the responses so far.  I think you guys are right saying I shouldn't pressure her.  I'm glad that she's showing an interest in getting her HCP.  I'm not sure how much she'll actually carry, but better to have the permit than not.  A few years ago she didn't ever even want to shoot.  As far as forcing her to the range, Over the last year she has gone about once a month.  She can go more if she likes but I'm not pushing it.  

[JReedEsq]

 I've been pondering sending her to one of the women's classes at Tactical Advantage, perhaps as a VD gift.   http://www.tacticaladvantagecorp.com/training/

 

I've suggested that to my wife too, but I wouldn't dare sign her up without her pre-approval.  She actually said if that class is really basic can't she just practice these things with me?  Of course I don't mind to go with her but I'm no expert and I think most people listen to a real instructor better than their spouse.  She just mentioned taking the HCP class with a friend of hers who's husband is Federal LEO and has suggested this to his wife for years.  I hope that having a friend to do it with will get her motivated to schedule the class.   

[Hershmeister]

Do what she says - and leave the seat down too

[Hozzie]

My personal opinion is that too many of us try to push what we like on others.  If we are asked our opinion, no problem, but most of the time, even when we aren't, we still give it.  Some people like that, some people don't.  I think many also have this idea that your wife, partner, son, daughter, or whatever, should be as interested in guns as you are.  In many cases, this couldn't be farther from the truth.  They don't want to know every detail, why, and how of it.  They just want to have one gun they are comfortable with in case the SHTF.

 

With all of that said, I personally believe that EVERYONE who is not interested in practicing on a regular basis and is not going  to be proficient in clearing a jam or other malfunction should only have a revolver.  There is nothing closer to set it and forget it than a revolver.  No need for a safety to forget and the double action will keep them from accidentally pulling the trigger while in an excited state.  In almost all cases a revolver is fool proof and I firmly believe that for people who want a handgun for defense, but really have no interest in becoming Rambo, it is the best option.    

 

On another note, please realize the HCP class is not firearms training.  If she does decide to get her HCP, I would encourage her to go to a training class before taking her HCP class.  If possible, let her go with a friend and don't go yourself unless she is receptive to your feedback.  Sometimes I think they just want to figure it out themselves and they take instruction better from someone other than their spouse.  No doubt we all have the best of intentions, but sometimes I don't think they see it that way.  :pleased:

Edited January 22, 2014 by Hozzie

[tnguy]

Do what she says - and leave the seat down too

 

Every time my wife complains about me leaving the seat up, I offer to install a urinal. Haven't had a complaint in a while...

[peejman]

I've suggested that to my wife too, but I wouldn't dare sign her up without her pre-approval.  She actually said if that class is really basic can't she just practice these things with me?  Of course I don't mind to go with her but I'm no expert and I think most people listen to a real instructor better than their spouse.  She just mentioned taking the HCP class with a friend of hers who's husband is Federal LEO and has suggested this to his wife for years.  I hope that having a friend to do it with will get her motivated to schedule the class.   

 

 

That's my whole motivation.  My wife took the NRA's Women on Target class a few years ago and really liked it.  We've talked about it and we both need more training/practice.  She was interested in taking a class of some sort.  TA is nearby, inexpensive, and I've seen good reviews. 

 

 

 

 

Do what she says - and leave the seat down too

 

 

We have an agreement that we both close the lid. 

[jtmaze]

I wouldn't pressure anything on her. My wife shoots a Bersa thunder .380 that I can't hit anything with, but she shoots it as good as I shoot my 1911. Let her do what she is comfortable with. JTM We the People of the United States, in order to form a more Perfect Union......

[Mike A]

If you're really determined, tell her that revolvers make her look fat. 

[RED333]

Pa is boss as everyone knows, but what Ma says always goes.

 

There is a trick to a happy wife, let them do what they want.

Edited January 23, 2014 by RED333

[Tuffus]

My wife doesn't like guns, period. She won't shoot one, won't pick one up, doesn't even want to look at them. I don't push it on her,  it would just make her worse. That being said, I get to shoot all the ammo up by myself. Let the lady shoot a revolver if she likes it. At least she's shooting. Besides that, an LCR is my main carry gun along with my Glock 30. I happen to like them both.

[Ray Z]

My wife doesn't like semi auto for carry because she doesn't have the strength in her hands to rack the slide.

she still carries. But a revolver.

 

Bought a slideracker at the SHOT show that will help a lot of ladies in the same predicament. It takes the place of the slide cover plate on Glocks. It takes 5 minutes to slide the original off and slide this one on. I looked in Lenny Magill's glock store and didn't find them. I'm looking at the package that the one I bought came in. The part number is T1349BK C. It must be to new to be up yet.

 

I put it on a glock 26 that she couldn't rack the slide on before and she did it with ease. Don't know where this is going with her, but less recoil and 10 shots instead of 5 are on my side.

[peejman]

If you're really determined, tell her that revolvers make her look fat. 

 

Determined to accomplish what, exactly?

[Jonnin]

What they said.  If she's content, leave it be. 

 

Personally, I don't like the small revolvers.  For me, it's muzzle/cylinder blast more than it is recoil.  I find the muzzle blast on any snubby objectionable.  I don't much care for a 4" .357 either (the *BOOM* is fun, but it gets old fast), but my 4" .45 doesn't bother me.  I think my P3AT has significant recoil and its so small that it's hard to hang onto.  It's ok for me, but my wife hates it.

 

That said, I got her a 9mm Shield for Christmas and she likes it.  While she does both well enough that I'm comfortable with her carrying it, she needs more practice shooting and operating it. I've been pondering sending her to one of the women's classes at Tactical Advantage, perhaps as a VD gift.   http://www.tacticaladvantagecorp.com/training/

 

Why not take a beginner level defense class together?   I have a suspicion (unconfirmed) that (many of) the "for women" classes are somehow a gimmick.  Self defense is self defense and if any good is not about brute force.  If it was "self defense using the techniques of the WWF"  maybe it would be a poor choice for your wife, but the bulk of these classes are how to carry, draw, reload, and fire a gun at an attacker effectively.  A few include a bit of physical, such as shoving the attacker before taking a step back to draw, but most beginner level classes are not going to have tons of martial arts mixed in and even if they do, 99% of the moves are gender neutral.   

 

Shooting is supposed to be fun.  It is serious too, esp when talking defense, but if you can both enjoy it together, that is a very good thing.

[glowdotGlock]

[quote name="peejman" post="1099315" timestamp="1390415025"] I've been pondering sending her to one of the women's classes at Tactical Advantage, perhaps as a VD gift.[/url][/quote] I hope that means "Valentine's Day" and not an apology for something... :p