Is Santa Real? A Logical Standpoint

[Guest Keal G Seo]

NSF Kids
Posted this to my FB a few years ago and thought you logical guys and gals might get a kick out of it.

Consider the following:

 

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

 

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

 

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

 

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons.

 

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 437,000 pounds of force.

 

> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

[peejman]

Regarding Santa, logic has nothing to do with it.

[teecro]

I still believe and I turned 50 last year....

[RED333]

If you believe, when you look in the mirror you will see Santa!

I see him every day.

Edited January 20, 2014 by RED333

[peejman]

If you believe, when you look in the mirror you will see Santa!
I see him every day.

Or at least until 3/4 of the way through the month when his credit card has had enough abuse. :)

[bersaguy]

I still believe he does and I am 65 and will be 66 in 7 days. Just because you have never seen something does not mean it does not exist. I have never seen GOD either but I believe in him with every breath I take and all my heart and soul so why should I not believe in Santa..............jmho

[Rowdy]

I believe...

[Guest Keal G Seo]

Wow did any of you read it or just assume I am being a arse? It was meant as just a bit of humor for those of us who think logically...

[RED333]

Yep, I did read it, and the facts are correct, dont mean it is right.

On paper somethings are not gona work, we know they will.

Bumble bees wings are to small to get the big body off the ground,

we see them fly all the time.

[peejman]

Wow did any of you read it or just assume I am being a arse? It was meant as just a bit of humor for those of us who think logically...

 

 

I've seen it plenty of times before and understand that it's supposed to be a farce.  I just think it's in poor taste, particularly the picture of the headstone.  Kids have access to this place.  While they may not understand all the language, the picture is pretty clear.  I don't want to have to explain that to my kids.