Manly Bike for Sale

[bteague2]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.html

Be amazed.

[musicman]

That's HILARIOUS!!!

[Magiccarpetrides]

hahaha thats helarious!

[musicman]

"The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some [poop] and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your [butt] or anything."

Ya know, that's the most important part right there. This past labor day weekend, I got stupid and agreed to ride a 14 mile mountain bike trail with some of my family in Maggie Valley, NC. I'm fat. I sit behind a desk in a nice, fluffly ofice chair, in a comfy, air conditioned office. I don't make a habit of strenuous physical activity. What possessed me to go along with this stupid idea? I have a perfectly good car with soft seats, a nice suspension, a V8, and A/C. Why would I want to pedal a rough riding, butt busting, vomit inducing contraption instead?

Anyways, I made it through, but not without much frustration. Also, some bruises. I experienced the pain of those much hated banana seats. I told my wife that riding that bike was the closest I've ever come to being gay. The bruises just under my butt in the crotch area have finally faded away. My legs no longer feel like jello and I have since been to the chiropractor.

I freakin' hate bikes.

[KahrMan]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.html

Be amazed.

Anybody notice that this for sale in San Francisco?

I didn't think they had any manly men there...

[Guest Boomhower]

Text from the article in case craigslist pulls it down for offencive language.....

<H2>Manly Bike for Sale

Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT

Bike for sale

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "**** YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy **** so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some **** and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 - Sissy Gear

Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear

Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear

Gear 4 - Boy Gear

Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear

Gear 6 - Manly Gear

Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't **** around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey *******, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".

Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  

PostingID: 765370039

</H2>

[Guest canynracer]

Anybody notice that this for sale in San Francisco?

I didn't think they had any manly men there...

Looks like the seller is the only one there, and that ad is written to avoid gay customers...LOL

[strob2000]

Hilarious ad...for some good reading I check out the "rants and raves" section on Craigslist every few months