Letter to Mr. Deer

[DaveS]

Dear Mr. Buck D. Deer;

     I hope this letter finds you doing well, and that you are enjoying a few of my favorite hunting spots.

     The reason I’m writing this letter is to voice a complaint about your behavior on my property. But first, a little history:

 

     Three years ago while I was bow hunting my food plot, you, your mom and your twin brother showed up and started eating away at my turnip greens. You two little fawns were running, ripping and honestly being little pains in the asses. I liked to fell out of my tree stand laughing when you tried to nurse and your momma mule kicked you with both back legs and rolled you on the ground. Personally I think you deserved it. I do however wish to say how sorry I am for putting that arrow through her ribs and sent you and your brother scampering for the thickets. She wasn’t nothing but a hoe anyways.

     That same year, my Daughter shot your Daddy (all 182 pounds and 12 points of his) while he was tom cat’ing around and chasing other women. Oh by the way, doe in heat lure, doe decoys and bleat calls really work. Just ask your Daddy!

     Now last year was certainly something to think about. You and your twin brother was down in “Rub Valley” just fighting each other to beat the band! Y’all should be a little more considerate of others and kind of keep the noise level down just a tad. And by the way, I’m the guy that shot your brother. Better off anyways considering he was kicking your ass. You owe me!

     Then in early December while hunting “Shock and Awe Ridge”, while I’m sitting on a bucket leaned back against a tree, while grunting and rattling like no tomorrow, you had no call running up to within 10 yards behind me and snorting . When I turned around and saw you standing a mere 10 yards back foaming at the mouth, you caused me to fall off my bucket and I threw my hip out causing me considerable pain and discomfort for days. Not funny Mr. Deer, not funny at all!

 

All was well until this year and your recent behavior  concerns me. Opening day of Muzzleloader I went and hunted “Rub Valley”. At the same time, you posed for my trail camera up on “Shock and Awe Ridge”. What was that deal all about? Oh and Sunday morning? You lucked out big time! While you come just bee bopping along the thicket that runs from “Shock and Awe Ridge” to “Heartbreak Pass”, I shot at you, that’s right it was me. Lucky for you that little tree ran out in front of that bullet and splattered bark all over you. My bad…s**t happens!

 

Then you turned around just the other day and sashayed right up to the trail camera, stuck your nose to it (yes, I see your antler tines in the picture) and acted like you had no cares in the world. But seriously did you have to stick your tail up in the air and take a dump? By the way, I seen your handy work of a pile layed in front of the cam. That was totally uncalled for!

 

Here’s my deal; one day this week let’s meet for coffee. Let’s say about 0630, My stand, I’ll bring the coffee. I’ll even let you pose for the camera. While you pose look about 15 yards past the camera, look up about 15 foot and smile. I really do want to see the look on your face when “Ol’ Git Some” lets out that billowing cloud of smoke!

 

Peace Mr. Deer

 

DaveS

Giblet Gibson

 

Enjoy and have a laugh!

Edited November 16, 2013 by DaveS

[RED333]

UM, deer can not read. :rofl: :rock:

[DaveS]

UM, deer can not read. :rofl: :rock:

It's the thought that counts.....

 

DaveS

[Joe357]

UM, deer can not read. :rofl: :rock:

That one can read, can write his name in the snow and likes having his picture taken. I know, he told me yesterday when I almost hit him with my car ;) Edited November 16, 2013 by joe45

[Sidinman]

Good luck Dave.

[DaveS]

That one can read, can write his name in the snow and likes having his picture taken. I know, he told me yesterday when I almost hit him with my car ;)

Leave my deer alone!  ;)

 

DaveS

[Ron Padilla]

the only problem is that you wrote to him, you have to write his admin so that his people can meet with your people first before you sit down for coffee with him.  Then you both sit down for coffee but you play your cards close to your vest and your ML under the table, then as he is in deep thought about his pending demise, you unleash the smoke, and let him know that you are his huckleberry. :)  and that takes care of his lack of reading issue, problem solved.  But he might have an un-known brother lurking in the shadows due to his fathers wandering ways, kind of like a Freddy Crugar kind of thing.  So keep a lookout over you shrubs for any further evidence of retaliation.