Stupid Stuff I've done...

[Raoul]

I ​honestly wish I could remember all the stupid stuff I've done.

[Guest tdoccrossvilletn]

Me and my best friend got drunk one night and got into a fist fight. I put his teeth through his lip. The worse I got was a bloody nose. Some time later that month we drank Bacardi 151 at 730am and by 9am my car was in the ditch up against an embankment with both axles broken. Sent from my mind using ninja telepathy. Edited October 3, 2013 by tdoccrossvilletn

[Guest Lester Weevils]

151 is a hell of a drug!

[Guest sL1k]

[quote name="tdoccrossvilletn" post="1043378" timestamp="1380839987"] Launched a Chevy Corsica 6 feet in the air at 65mph with three passengers two in back one up front. We bounced twice and dude in the back wound up in front and dude in front wound up in the back. Sent from my mind using ninja telepathy.[/quote]I too can attest to the dukes of hazard abilities of a chevy corsica. . Here something I will admit too. I was young and had a pair of pruning shears that could slice through 3/4" limbs like butter. Well being so young and knowing all, there was a leaf stuck in the blades, I did not want to get the handles dirty so I placed them between my knees reached up to remove the leaf... well while I reached the handles started to slip out so I squeezed my knees together to catch them I was successful! At cutting my thumb off.. Thankfully the bone stopped the shears. I thank God for shock because for at least 5 minutes I felt no pain tryin to figure out how to tell my mom. She didn't ask. She drug me to the sink to rinse it with warm soapy water then all kinds of germ killers. The bliss of shock stops when soapy water enters the wound. Now I have a scar that reminds me of being young and dumb. And then there was that time I wanted to refill my moms bic lighter with lighter fluid... Edited October 4, 2013 by sL1k

[Guest Lester Weevils]

Well there was the time about age 11 or 12 when we were making model rockets with various fuels for a couple of years and one day we almost burned down the garage. That was a few years post-sputnik and lots of kids were making rockets with various propellants and constructions.

We would have got in trouble if the garage had gone all the way up but my friend's folks and my folks were inside drinking coffee and playing cards, so they all ran out to the garage and managed to put out the fire and wash the flaming remains out into the driveway.

So we only got a stern talking-to and were warned to be more careful or we'd have to stop. Then they went back inside to drink more coffee, the dads smoking big stogies, and playing more cards. Looking back, parents put up with a lot of nonsense, of boys being boys.

[Guest TankerHC]

Part II

 

Me and another Sgt were downrange to give a TCAT (West Point Armor Officer Third Class Armor Training) class at Knox (5 North for all you old Tankers). While sitting around on the tank waiting for them to do their thing, he cracks open the plastic case of an ATWESS charge. Inside was a black hard tube. The propellant. Looking at it, he asks me what I think it would do if he lit it. I said "Well, its pretty hard, probably burn like one of those snakes you can buy at 4th of July". So he takes it about 10 feet from the tank and lays it on the ground and pulls out his bic lighter. I'm standing about 4 feet away waiting to see this thing burn like a snake.

 

The flash fire filled about a 12 foot diameter area. He vanished in a ball of fire and I was engulfed in a ball of fire. When the flash fire died after 2-3 seconds he was still crouched over with his arm out with the bic lighter in his hand. The skin on top of his arm was pushed all the way up past his elbow, the skin on his forehead was pushed up to the top of his head where his hair used to be. And he was eyebrowless, eyelashless, and his mustache was almost burned off. My eyebrows were burned off and my hair (what there was of it since I wore a high and tight my entire career) was heavily singed. I had what equaled a 2nd degree sunburn on my face and arms.

 

We were down there to give a class. Was actually 4 of us on 2 tanks. No medics, supposed to go down, wait for them, give the class and head on back to the Motor Pool. But since now he was pretty messed up we had to get him to Ireland Army Hospital. Old 64 radios we couldn't get anybody, to far away, so we drove both Tanks to the highway and flagged down a civilian. He hopped in and got to the Hospital.

 

Explaining that to the Post safety Officer was not fun, explaining it to our Squadron Commander was not funner and explaining it to our Command Sergeant Major was even less fun than explaining it to the other two combined. For one thing with the CSM is was hard to explain between all the "dumb mother f_______r's and stupid mother f_______r's" that kept coming out of his mouth.

 

Fortunately it only resulted in negative counseling rather than an Article 15. COnsidering the hours spent listening at the CSM tell us what dumb mother f______r's we were, I would have rather had the Article 15. 

Edited October 4, 2013 by TankerHC

[Wyldk2]

Part II

 

Me and another Sgt were downrange to give a TCAT (West Point Armor Officer Third Class Armor Training) class at Knox (5 North for all you old Tankers). While sitting around on the tank waiting for them to do their thing, he cracks open the plastic case of an ATWESS charge. Inside was a black hard tube. The propellant. Looking at it, he asks me what I think it would do if he lit it. I said "Well, its pretty hard, probably burn like one of those snakes you can buy at 4th of July". So he takes it about 10 feet from the tank and lays it on the ground and pulls out his bic lighter. I'm standing about 4 feet away waiting to see this thing burn like a snake.

 

The flash fire filled about a 12 foot diameter area. He vanished in a ball of fire and I was engulfed in a ball of fire. When the flash fire died after 2-3 seconds he was still crouched over with his arm out with the bic lighter in his hand. The skin on top of his arm was pushed all the way up past his elbow, the skin on his forehead was pushed up to the top of his head where his hair used to be. And he was eyebrowless, eyelashless, and his mustache was almost burned off. My eyebrows were burned off and my hair (what there was of it since I wore a high and tight my entire career) was heavily singed. I had what equaled a 2nd degree sunburn on my face and arms.

 

We were down there to give a class. Was actually 4 of us on 2 tanks. No medics, supposed to go down, wait for them, give the class and head on back to the Motor Pool. But since now he was pretty messed up we had to get him to Ireland Army Hospital. Old 64 radios we couldn't get anybody, to far away, so we drove both Tanks to the highway and flagged down a civilian. He hopped in and got to the Hospital.

 

Explaining that to the Post safety Officer was not fun, explaining it to our Squadron Commander was not funner and explaining it to our Command Sergeant Major was even less fun than explaining it to the other two combined. For one thing with the CSM is was hard to explain between all the "dumb mother f_______r's and stupid mother f_______r's" that kept coming out of his mouth.

 

Fortunately it only resulted in negative counseling rather than an Article 15. COnsidering the hours spent listening at the CSM tell us what dumb mother f______r's we were, I would have rather had the Article 15.

 

Lmao.  Sorry about you and your friend getting burnt. But that was funny. Stupid at the time yes,but i bet you look back on it and chuckle. It's probably being taught as "what not to do".

[Glenn]

Well, to start there was the time me and my best friend piled up about 15 or 20 old dry christmas trees, poured on some gas and lit them on fire. A most impressive fire it was too. The fire dept was not so impressed when they had to come put out the surround field and woods.

[tennessee01tacoma]

Glenn your story made me think of another not about me but my brothers and stepdad. My brother was given some professional grade fireworks, the artillery shell style, and he was told the tubes got wet so they might be duds. So they decide to try one it was July and the yard was so dry the grass was almost dying, they light one set it in the tube and run and boom it exploded right off the ground. Catches the yard on fire they put it out with a garden hose nothing major just a few burnt spots but then they do it again and boom it exploded about 2 foot out of the tube but this shell was different it it didn't just explode it burned and that time they caught about half the yard on fire, put it out themselves, my stepdad is a assistant fire chief, when mom she chewed him out it was hilarious.

[Guest TankerHC]

Few years ago I was fishing off a bank down in Hattiesburg. Using a reel that could cast pretty far. on the end of the line I had a lure and up about 6 inches a 1/4 ounce split shot. Cast a good 30 yards or so and got hung up. Wife was standing next to me and I told her we had to watch because I was going to pull the line and try to get it loose without losing my lure and the lure might fly back. Messed with it for a while and it wasn't coming loose so I wrapped the line above the reel around my hand and started walking backward. The line was stretching and after walking backwards about 15 or so feet it broke loose and I heard zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZiiiinnnnnggggg.......then WHACK! Hit in the stomach with the split shot. Hit the ground and it took me 10 minutes to get up, it hurt so bad I thought I had "been kilt" by a high velocity split shot. I actually thought it had penetrated because when I pulled my shirt up there was a big black spot at the point of impact. The next day, I had a bruise the size of a paper plate on my stomach. 

 

I dont do that any more. If its hung up and wont come loose, I just cut it. 

 

Should note that while laying on the ground gasping for air, in agony, and writhing around the wife was laughing at me with that "omg hahaha omg ahaha, are you ok, hahaha" type laugh. 

Edited October 4, 2013 by TankerHC

[hipower]

Ok. This is more embarrassing than stupid. Although the whole story just highlights the stupidity of young boys who finally get a date with the hottest gal in the area.

 

This young gal I'd been lusting after for a while agreed to go out with me. Started off pretty normal. Drive in movie, a few cold cans of a non-soft drink, and some steamed windows.

 

Taking a break after the movie, we decided to go to a nice secluded scenic overlook and continue our conversations. After a few more cans were opened and emptied; things were getting pretty interesting. Similar to Meat's paradise By the Dashboard Light  scenario.

 

Hands were moving, clothes were moving...well you get the picture.

 

About this time, we see a light coming toward us. Figuring it's just another amorous couple, we kinda ignored it....Until the tapping on the window and the light shinning in.

 

Turns out it's a county deputy.

 

Well, I'm sure you know the drill from there. Who, What, You know better, get home, don't let me catch you up here again, etc. etc. 

 

So he lets us go, and follows us for a couple of miles. Then finally turns away.

 

Well....still a couple of beverages in the cooler in the truck. You know, the standard for dates, can't run out.

 

So we stop in at the local gathering spot...A Dairy Queen for those of you who didn't have the advantages of a small-town upbringing.

 

Had a few more beverages, and got to smooching again, and ...

 

Well you know, young and in love. Well ...lust anyway. We went off in search of another quiet spot.

 

Being real smart, slightly fuzzy of mind, and blood shortage in the brain; I think.."He's not gonna go back to the same place again tonight. Let's go back up there."

 

And we do.

 

Ok, same drill. A little this, a little that. Ok...a whole lotta that. And we are really getting into things. Windows all fogged again. AND THEN.....tap tap tap. Blinding lights and loud voice.    

 

"Get out of the car!"

 

OH CRAP! and that's me, by the way.

 

Scared out of my befuddled mind and thinking really, really clearly...I decided to drive off.  Yeah. Real Bright.

 

I get about a hundred yards before the second deputy, and the patrol car pull out in front of me... with every light in the known world flashing. 

 

So I'm sitting in the car, trying to get my pants and shirt out of the back floorboard while this little hottie very calmly buttons up her sundress from bottom to top. And damn quickly to boot.

 

And the Deputy is standing there watching me try like the dickens to get my feet back thru the 70's era tapered too tight at the knees, and bell bottom jeans. Striped no less. And with suede boots too. And did I mention the Bell-sleeved, flower print shirt?

 

So while he laughs his head off looking at the idiot trying to dress behind the steering wheel, Kat, the young lady who's the object of the story...calmly looks up and says..."Hi Tommy"

 

She knows him!  OH, really CRAP now.

 

And then she gets outta the car and goes to talking with him.

 

"I'm dead, screwed, under the jail, and a lot of other things" cross my mind while I'm still trying to get those damn tight jeans pulled on. 

 

All the while, she's still talking. Now to both deputys.

 

Well, in the interests of brevity and less embarrament to myself, this is how it ended.

 

Kat knows both of them. More to the point, they know her...very well.

 

After a stern lecture to me. The get going, don't ever let me catch you in my town again, etc. We were let go.

 

Never been so embarrassed in my life. Felt like a moron. And to quote Red Foreman, and Mike357..."A Dumbass."

 

So I take her home.

 

To find no one is there!  All this evening,... no one was there. 

 

Crap.

 

So....anyway, the night wasn't a total loss. :woohoo:

[Wiljo05]

 
I dont do that any more. If its hung up and wont come loose, I just cut it.

All I can say is I wish I'd have learned that before the DD22 came at me! If you don't know what a DD22 is, just google or imagine a big crank bait covered in treble hooks!

[K191145]

Back in the early 80's at Ft. Stewart our company was at the range firing M60's, one of the activities I really enjoyed. Many many times it was drilled in us that if we had a hangfire just to keep the weapon pointed downrange and announce that you had a hangfire and "WAIT". Well I had two malfunctions, a hangfire and a brainfart at the same time. When the M60 went click I immediatly raised the feed tray cover, removed the belt and pulled the bolt back only to see the cartridge still in the chamber. It's funny that sometimes when you screw up you realize it while you're screwing up but it's too late then. Well just a fraction of a nano second when I saw the cartridge a semi-loud pop happened and a cloud of white smoke was in my face, I was a little dazed for a second wondering where I had a cartridge case implanted but luckily it must have been blown out of the chamber and hit the bolt and bounced over my shoulder, but the most lucky thing of all is no one but me and my m60 crew member knew what happened so we didn't have to hear "stupid MF'r" and all that. I'm sure the velocity of the case in the face wasn't enough to kill me but it sure wouldn't have felt very good. BTW, I did remove the barrel and looked down it to make sure the bullet cleared.

[Glenn]

Spent a few days of one summer tearing open several thousand firecrackers and a box of 22 shells. took one of those coat hangers that had the cardboard tube on the bottom. took the tube and stopped up one end real tight, filled the tube with the powder mixture then plugged the other end real tight. Here is the dumb part. took a drill and drilled a hole in the side for a fuse. That sucker blew a 3 foot diameter by 6 inch deep hole in the yard.

[Guest TankerHC]

Back in the early 80's at Ft. Stewart our company was at the range firing M60's, one of the activities I really enjoyed. Many many times it was drilled in us that if we had a hangfire just to keep the weapon pointed downrange and announce that you had a hangfire and "WAIT". Well I had two malfunctions, a hangfire and a brainfart at the same time. When the M60 went click I immediatly raised the feed tray cover, removed the belt and pulled the bolt back only to see the cartridge still in the chamber. It's funny that sometimes when you screw up you realize it while you're screwing up but it's too late then. Well just a fraction of a nano second when I saw the cartridge a semi-loud pop happened and a cloud of white smoke was in my face, I was a little dazed for a second wondering where I had a cartridge case implanted but luckily it must have been blown out of the chamber and hit the bolt and bounced over my shoulder, but the most lucky thing of all is no one but me and my m60 crew member knew what happened so we didn't have to hear "stupid MF'r" and all that. I'm sure the velocity of the case in the face wasn't enough to kill me but it sure wouldn't have felt very good. BTW, I did remove the barrel and looked down it to make sure the bullet cleared.

 

I did the same thing on a "ma deuce" only slightly different. we were downrange for a Table 8 qual. I was test firing machine guns on the semi ready line. Prepping the M2, we had 20 rounds to test fire. Grabbed the belt, threw it in, charged the handle, and attempted to fire, misfire. The bolt would not go back so I had no choice but to open the cover. As soon as I opened the cover the round went off right in my face. It did not require any medical attention but it was not fun, and as soon as I looked at the belt hanging over the mount I knew exactly the cause. I was in the semi ready line and was only one or two tanks down to move into BP1. not paying attention, I had grabbed the belt out of the box and slammed the cover shut with the links upside down. It chambered a round and a link jammed the feed lever preventing anything from happening, I had to fight to get the cover open. But when I did. Bang.  For anyone who dont believe it a .50 will feed a round with upside down links, it will,  seen it happen plenty of times. 

Edited October 4, 2013 by TankerHC

[vontar]

I have a feeling this is going to be one of those threads that never dies.

 

Guess I have to add a story to post.

 

One time, camping, Tony and I found an old Mack tire.

 

Well one thing leads to another and it was probably the hottest fire I ever built.  After it got going really good I had major concerns it was 2 close to a railroad bridge.

 

There was no putting it out with anything we had.  We was on a creek bank and kept dumping water on it trying to slow it down to little effect.

 

Fortunately the bridge was not burn.  There was no live plant life in a good sized circle around it.

 

My wife says all my good stories start with Tony and I.

*he was at the silo as well*

Edited October 4, 2013 by vontar

[K191145]

I did the same thing on a "ma deuce" only slightly different. we were downrange for a Table 8 qual. I was test firing machine guns on the semi ready line. Prepping the M2, we had 20 rounds to test fire. Grabbed the belt, threw it in, charged the handle, and attempted to fire, misfire. The bolt would not go back so I had no choice but to open the cover. As soon as I opened the cover the round went off right in my face. It did not require any medical attention but it was not fun, and as soon as I looked at the belt hanging over the mount I knew exactly the cause. I was in the semi ready line and was only one or two tanks down to move into BP1. not paying attention, I had grabbed the belt out of the box and slammed the cover shut with the links upside down. It chambered a round and a link jammed the feed lever preventing anything from happening, I had to fight to get the cover open. But when I did. Bang.  For anyone who dont believe it a .50 will feed a round with upside down links, it will,  seen it happen plenty of times. 

 

I'm glad I never had anything like that happen with a ma deuce, I saw one all cracked up and the barrel seized after someone firing it with improper headspace, that was probably minor damage. The .50 BMG round has alot of power behind it.

[bersaguy]

Gosh, I have been reading for the last 3 hours and I have come to only on conclusion. Many of you are lucky to be here to tell these stories and most of ya'll definitely need to stay away from anything pertaining to electricity cause that seems to be the  main culprit in your lives that you have trouble conquering....... :ugh: :rofl: :rofl: Also seems that tools have a sweet place in many of ya'll heart also. I suffered a stroke back in 1996 and my short term memory is terrible but my long term memory is fine. I might see if I can remember something from my past to add soon.

[Guest TankerHC]

Gosh, I have been reading for the last 3 hours and I have come to only on conclusion. Many of you are lucky to be here to tell these stories and most of ya'll definitely need to stay away from anything pertaining to electricity cause that seems to be the  main culprit in your lives that you have trouble conquering....... :ugh: :rofl: :rofl: Also seems that tools have a sweet place in many of ya'll heart also. I suffered a stroke back in 1996 and my short term memory is terrible but my long term memory is fine. I might see if I can remember something from my past to add soon.

 

Well I was going to tell my electricity story but several here have already done it. Since you mentioned it, Ill tell it anyway. Needed a plug for a TV I got in a trade, was in my bedroom, this was back when I was 14 or 15 or so. Had an old Philco radio, one of those white ones with the big yellow dial, Didnt work, to make sure it didnt work, before cutting the cable, I plugged it in, it didnt work,so I took a pair of needle nose pliers, the kind with the wire cutter, and cut the cable, while it was still plugged in. I dont know a whole lot about electricity. And knew even less at that age. But blue sparkes flew everywhere, the handles had the yellow rubber on them so I didnt get electricuted and when I looked at the pliers, it had actually burned a round hole in both sides of the wire cutter part. 

 

My dad had plenty of old tools, including wire cutters that didnt have the rubber on the handles. If I had used one of them no telling what would have happened. 

Edited October 5, 2013 by TankerHC

[R_Bert]

1980.  brand new *white* Datsun (soon to be Nissan) pickup truck.  Bench rest across hood (on a pillow at that).  3rd shot.  "huh, you see where that one went?" Looked down....3/8" deep groove across most of the hood... a good 30"+  Yep.  Shot a new truck.

 

20 years later, another truck.. not-very-old Toyota....  made the mistake of pulling a 36"  3/4" rebar stake out of the ground with 5/8" rappelling rope.  Straight through the tailgate....landed in the bed.    When pulling S**t out of the ground... use chain.

[bersaguy]

Well, I have got one memory that come to mind that happened back in the mid 70's not to long after I got home from Service. Not much scared me back then. Syill your and dumb and , well you know the rest but anyway I was a part time fireman for subscription fire department there in Donelson/Hermitage area. There are two different events that I can remember both involved me and people that don't respect the sounds of sirens and emergency vehicles trying to get to a fire or accident. This is back when Lebanon Road was still two lane from Donelson to Hermitage. I was driving truck #2 which had a huge nose pump on it plus twin smaller pumps and hauling 800 gallons of water. It's about 8 Pm and a call comes in about a house fire so we are in route had all the lights on the truck lit which I think was about 20 plus both spot lights lit. Had twin Federal Q sires on front fenders that you could hear for at least 10 miles when they were wound up. We reached the two lane and this little old man in a 1971 Ford maverick was going 25 MPH and would not move over. I was on his back bumper and he would not move. I rocked out into left had lane on coming traffic twice but had to get back in because of on coming traffic. Finally I got enough of a break I could get the entire truck in left hand lane and on coming cars were moving to shoulder to give me room. This truck had big hook bumpers that extended out past the rear and I kept looking in mirror and guy in shotgun said your not gonna and about that time I swerved the truck just enough to hook the front wheel well of that maverick and I ripped the fender off the car and never took my foot off the gas, Just reached down and radioed that I hit a car  it's 20 and I was still in route so they sent the police and come to find out when we arrived at the house and began fighting the fire the old man in that maverick followed us all the way to the fire and was cussing me and threatening me and I look over at one of the Leos on the seen and he stuffed the old man in a squad car. We put the house out just losing the garage and saving the rest. I looked and Red , one of the other firemen was removing the fender from the rear bumper of the firetruck. In the end the old man got a ticket for fail to yield to emergency vehicles and following a  fire truck to a fire and reckless driving. I know it was a mean thing to do but back then I really didn't care........

 

About a month later same truck different situation. Intersection of Jacksonian Blvd and Lebanon Road. I have #2 stretched out all lights lit sirens screaming and I knew the light was gonna go red on me and I was hoping everyone would sit still on cross street." wrong"  big 1972 Buick 225 pulled out into intersection and I couldn't swerve much hauling the water but I was able to hit the land yacht in the rear quarter panel with that front pump and spun the car around in the intersection. Never took my foot out of it and went on to the fire. Just radioed that I hit a car and told them the 20 and a metro police car was sitting in a gas station and saw the whole thing so they were already on site in a few seconds. Four young men high on Pot were in the Buick and they all said they never saw or heard any fire truck and they didn't know what hit them....Needless to say they all went down town to the Graybar Motel. Lost 1 room of the house in the fire. Needless to say my batting averages were not to good with the traffic deals but I was batting 1000 on not losing any complete houses to fires. I worked for them part time until Metro took over in 1978 and Subscription and volunteer fired departments went the way of the dinosaur but I can say one thing I looked back over the years I worked there and we had a better response time and lost less homes to fire than all that fancy metro fire department equipment did in the same time period............ :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

[Daniel]

Part II

Me and another Sgt were downrange to give a TCAT (West Point Armor Officer Third Class Armor Training) class at Knox (5 North for all you old Tankers). While sitting around on the tank waiting for them to do their thing, he cracks open the plastic case of an ATWESS charge. Inside was a black hard tube. The propellant. Looking at it, he asks me what I think it would do if he lit it. I said "Well, its pretty hard, probably burn like one of those snakes you can buy at 4th of July". So he takes it about 10 feet from the tank and lays it on the ground and pulls out his bic lighter. I'm standing about 4 feet away waiting to see this thing burn like a snake.

The flash fire filled about a 12 foot diameter area. He vanished in a ball of fire and I was engulfed in a ball of fire. When the flash fire died after 2-3 seconds he was still crouched over with his arm out with the bic lighter in his hand. The skin on top of his arm was pushed all the way up past his elbow, the skin on his forehead was pushed up to the top of his head where his hair used to be. And he was eyebrowless, eyelashless, and his mustache was almost burned off. My eyebrows were burned off and my hair (what there was of it since I wore a high and tight my entire career) was heavily singed. I had what equaled a 2nd degree sunburn on my face and arms.

We were down there to give a class. Was actually 4 of us on 2 tanks. No medics, supposed to go down, wait for them, give the class and head on back to the Motor Pool. But since now he was pretty messed up we had to get him to Ireland Army Hospital. Old 64 radios we couldn't get anybody, to far away, so we drove both Tanks to the highway and flagged down a civilian. He hopped in and got to the Hospital.

Explaining that to the Post safety Officer was not fun, explaining it to our Squadron Commander was not funner and explaining it to our Command Sergeant Major was even less fun than explaining it to the other two combined. For one thing with the CSM is was hard to explain between all the "dumb mother f_______r's and stupid mother f_______r's" that kept coming out of his mouth.

Fortunately it only resulted in negative counseling rather than an Article 15. COnsidering the hours spent listening at the CSM tell us what dumb mother f______r's we were, I would have rather had the Article 15.

This is not my story but you reminded me of it. http://rhinoden.rangerup.com/the-dumbass-chronicles-the-most-dangerous-range-ever/ Edited October 5, 2013 by Daniel

[Guest tdoccrossvilletn]

There was this one time a buddy and I were in Highland Park area of Chattanooga. He was dating a Cuban girl that lived there. Anyways we were at Burger King eating lunch and I went to the bathroom to take a leak. As I'm standing at a urinal this black dude walks in locks the door behind him and approaches the sink. I pull my knife and have it in my hand as I walk up to the sink. He said hey man you want to smoke some crack? I was like hell no. He said come on man are you a cop? I said no I'm leaving and I'll just pretend I didn't see this. He said okay and I left. He did pull a crack rock out of his sock but I'm wondering if his original intent was to rob me and saw me pull my knife and gave up. The stupid thing was being in highland park (ghetto high crime area) as a white dude. Sent from my mind using ninja telepathy. Edited October 5, 2013 by tdoccrossvilletn

[UncleJak]

There was this one time a buddy and I were in Highland Park area of Chattanooga. He was dating a Cuban girl that lived there. Anyways we were at Burger King eating lunch and I went to the bathroom to take a leak. As I'm standing at a urinal this black dude walks in locks the door behind him and approaches the sink. I pull my knife and have it in my hand as I walk up to the sink. He said hey man you want to smoke some crack? I was like hell no. He said come on man are you a cop? I said no I'm leaving and I'll just pretend I didn't see this. He said okay and I left. He did pull a crack rock out of his sock but I'm wondering if his original intent was to rob me and saw me pull my knife and gave up. The stupid thing was being in highland park (ghetto high crime area) as a white dude. Sent from my mind using ninja telepathy.

me and a friend were dropping off a young lady in highland park one afternoon. Her brother and about 15 of his friends saw us and starting making their way towards us. My buddy asked what I thought they wanted. At first I assumed it was to exchange introductions, bit quickly saw it was not to exchange any type of pleasantries.
It could've been a real bad situation, but we tore out pretty quick.

Sent barefoot from the hills of Tennessee

[Timestepper]

Okay, just one stupid thing.... (since it wasn't really me who did it.)

 

My cousin Mike was 14 and I was 12 and we'd just been to a rodeo on Saturday night to watch one of my older brothers in the bull riding event. Sunday was a beautiful day and after church, Mike and I were still filled with awe and envy and the desire to become genuine, glorified bull riders our ownselves.

 

Now, genuine Brahma bulls were in short supply in our neck of the Kansas plains, but our Grandad had a big old Charolais bull named Brummy. Brummy was a gentle giant and wouldn't hurt a flee and all us grand kids had sat on his back at one time or another, so me and Cousin Mike knew that "loadin' him in to the chute" would be a piece of cake. What we were going to afterwards we weren't too sure of, but figured if we could rig us up some good "bull hooks" (slang for the modified spurs bull riders use), we'd stand a chance of becoming genuine rodeo heroes.

 

So we did some looking around and some tinkering and finally rigged up some pretty neat bull hooks which, if I recall, consisted of about 4 inches of double barbed barb wire wound around and twisted through some old bridle leather we'd found in the barn and lashed onto to the heels of our cowboy boots.

 

Now since Cousin Mike was the oldest, strongest and wisest, it was up to him to go first while I acted as the "chute man." (Being the "chute man" consisted mostly of me just leading Brummy up to the rail fence that ran next to the chicken coop and then climbing onto the coop side of the fence and holding his bridle while Cousin Mike climbed up on top of the coop preparatory to the rather inspired mounting maneuver he'd personally devised and christened the "paratrooper mount" - back then, paratroopers were our 3rd favorite heroes, superseded only by cowboys and mountain men.)

 

So I got Brummy up next to the fence, crawled between the rails, then reached back over the top rail and got a good grip on the bridle. When I was set, Cousin Mike shouted "GERONIMO!" bailed off the top of the hen house, lit astraddle of good ol' Brummy, grabbed a double handful of hide (we'd forgotten to make a bull rope) and jammed his homemade bull hooks into Brummy's flanks...

 

To this day I'm not real sure what happened next, but when the dust had cleared and I could see again, my dad was kneeling over me, gently cradling my freshly broken arm and trying not to laugh out loud, Cousin Mike was squalling something fierce from the pig pen on the other side of the chicken coop and my uncle Bill was trying to help Mike out of the slop but was laughing so hard he kept losing his grip on Mike's hand. (We didn't know they'd seen us earlier and had been spying on us from behind Grampa's threshing machine.)

 

A trip to the nearest ER (about 25 miles away) and I had a new cast on my arm and Cousin Mike was the first one to sign it. On the way back to Grampa's farm, Dad asked if I'd learned anything and I said, "Yeah, Brummy don't like para-trooping bull riders!" (Come to think of it, he wouldn't go anywhere near the chicken coop again after that, so I guess he prob'ly didn't much care for chickens, either.)

 

 

...TS...

Edited October 5, 2013 by Timestepper