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How do you hide gun/or accy purchases from the wife or GF?


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I knew a guy once that bought a beautiful 1911.....he walked in and showed his wife his new pistol. She shook her head and said "what a waste of money". He snapped right back though and said "not as much of a waste as all that makeup you buy!!!" We'll, to make a lomg story short, he didn't even see her for 3 whole days. On the evening of the fourth day he could just barely make her out with his left eye. I reckon the swelling went down quicker in the left eye first because she was left handed and her left hook to the right eye was stronger than her right hook........well, you get the picture.
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I dont either, the only explanations I ever have to give are answers to "Why do you needs two, three, four...of the same xxxxxxxx?

 

 

My response to that was "why do you need two, three, four...of the same Vera Bradley purse"?

 

And that boys and girls, is why Mrs. 'lizard and I do NOT question what the other spends their budgeted mad money on. It's better for everyone that way.  :)

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Another 'I don't' here.

 

I'm not always 100% honest about the price, but this is more of a game than anything these days. She knows damn well I paid more than I'm telling her, but I know damn well it's not as much as she thinks, so it all works out in the end!

 

We've always had our own individual finances (It really does save arguments & stress if she has hers, I have mine & we both toss an equal amount into the Joint-account-kitty to cover bills) & I spend whatever I like, as long as I have it. She does the same.

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I am afraid to post my answer, she sometimes reads my posts (I think).  I have a combination of methods already mentioned, like buy her something new, or I pay the bills routine and as long as the bills are being paid, blah, blah, blah.  Another one that I use often, I work very hard and have a very stressful job, I don't golf, I don't drink, and I gave up playing poker with the boys along time ago, so my gun nut obsession is my stress relief, it usually works.  One other, is that I have fell on the sword a few times, it works too.

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In my house it's strictly DADT.
I don't inquire about book or plant purchases and she reciprocates. We both fund the communal account and keep one for personal use.
We do our taxes together so there are no big mysteries about income.
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Having never been married I can't speak on that front. When it comes to girlfriends its quite simple "I don't know or really care what they spend their money on, it's none of their concern how I spend mine."

Now things change a bit when you start getting serious or move in together. By that time though if you were honest in the beginning she should know already what she's getting into. Still NOHB as long as your share of expenses are met, you don't need to borrow money for car repairs and you keep enough loot handy to take her out for a spontaneous night of fun.
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I buy and tell her about it. Typical reactions are:

1) that's nice
2) can I shoot it
3) (not too often but...) oh that was sweet of you. Why didn't you get yourself one at the same time? This is followed by her waiting at the door to go to the range to shoot my...errr, her new gun.

Mark
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I walk straight in the door with my chest stuck out and yell "Woman! I'm back with a sack full of stuff from Academy, where's my supper!?" Then I hear her car pull in the gravel driveway and I hide it like a dog burying bones!! Lol
But seriously, she knows, and tells me I have a problem, then asks if I found her any 9mm ammo :)
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So, I get to be one of the lucky ones. But really, a lot of us here married way up. I know I did. Anyway, true story:

We were down in Birmingham taking some pistol classes from the OpSpec folks. I've shot Sigs for as long as I can remember and really like them. She had a nice 228 but didn't shoot it that well and was not in love with it. The adjunct instructor for her class was Randy Lee (principal of Apex Tactical). After about 30 minutes of her class he let her borrow his tricked out M&P.

We stopped for lunch a few minutes before her group did. She saw me, pointed to her eyes, then my eyes, then down to the pistol, gave a big thumbs up and flashed her smile of control. So, no words were spoken but the mental conversation we had was: I really like this pistol, please get one for me soonest.

That night we went back to the hotel room to get ready for dinner. While she was in the shower I got online, found what she wanted at Buds Guns and ordered it right then. When she got out I told her it would be here on Wednesday. She said thanks and did I order something similar so that we could train on the same platform. I told her I did and she told me it was proof she'd married a smart man. The next day I bought 3 apex trigger kits Randy had with him.

The following weekend we were back at the range shooting our new M&P's. life was good and I got to keep the 228 she'd been shooting. Win win win...

Mark
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I count myself lucky...been with the same woman about 18 years. Early on, we decided that splitting the bills and staying out of each other's business was the way to go and it has worked brilliantly. The split went roughly 65 / 35 in her favor, but that's cool.

Aside from the ocassional complaint that she wants some landscaping done or a new bed or whatever (which I have to fund), she doesn't pester me about buying guns. Likewise, I don't pester her about jewelry, clothes, etc. either. Works like a charm...hell, I may even marry her someday.
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I don't hide stuff.

We're both responsible spenders so if I buy something she knows I need it and I either bought it used or shopped around for the best price and we can afford it. We don't make a lot so we both stay on top of our spending.

If I want to make a larger purchase (such as a gun) I work some OT and I save my lawnmower sales/repair money, grass cutting money, and fishing tournament money until I can buy it.

The only way we'd say anything to each other about buying an item is if it was on credit as that would mean we can't actually afford it in cash at time of purchase. Beings we don't even have any kind of credit cards or credit accounts to even buy stuff with, i guess that's not a concern.
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Guest Lester Weevils

It is said that most marriage arguments are about money. If money is tight then it has to be real cooperative. Or maybe a couple has decided on real ambitious family financial goals or whatever.

 

But unless finances are real tight, separate checking accts and separate money is a fabulous argument-avoider. Assuming that neither partner has a sickness of spending money they don't have. If one or both partners have incurable excessive spending sickness then the marriage will have problems.

 

To simplify emergencies such as sudden death or incapacity, my name is on her checking acct and vice-versa. I executed the probate when mom died, and a common advice I've heard-- If a spouse dies, the surviving spouse should clean out the deceased accounts right away, the same day if possible, to make sure money needed for living expenses doesn't happen to get tied up in probate. So if I die she needs to immediately tap out my accounts and vice versa.

 

I typically made more money than wife, and paid all the shared bills except the ones wife incurred for herself. She spent or saved her money, and I paid the shared bills and spent or saved whatever was left. A good bit of my spending is "business expenses" anyway. It worked out pretty well, because I'm good at keeping up with bills and she is good at saving, so after a few decades we didn't have any debt and she had accumulated a much more enviable savings than me. But she'll probably live longer so she can put it to better use.

 

I never asked her about her purchases, and she never asked about mine, but I'd be ashamed to spend money I don't have. Last year or two I have got too wore out and stupid to make as much money as before, and it is gratifying that she has been dipping into some of her stash to make up the difference in our dotage. :)

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It's not cheap, but it works:

 

Dwarf your firearms and accessories/ammo purchases with bigger "honey" purchases

 

:hiding:

Holy Crap !!!! LOL that is exactly what I did !!! I once went and bought her a nice expsensive jacket and it "Dwarfed" my S&W M&P40C

Edited by tercel89
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Holy Crap !!!! LOL that is exactly what I did !!! I once went and bought her a nice expsensive jacket and it "Dwarfed" my S&W M&P40C

 

LOL. Seriously enough, it is what I do. Not as it sounds, but more so I just budget every dime that I earn, and spend wisely. I don't feel the need to hide any purchases from my wife. I treat her kindly and treat her to nice things when I can. I also let her know that sometimes I'll spend some discretionary income on something I might like for myself. This may happen 2-3 times a year. 

 

Be responsible, be loving, and be kind, and you don't have to hide anything. That is to say, you are doing your part, it is a two sided marriage:)

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LOL. Seriously enough, it is what I do. Not as it sounds, but more so I just budget every dime that I earn, and spend wisely. I don't feel the need to hide any purchases from my wife. I treat her kindly and treat her to nice things when I can. I also let her know that sometimes I'll spend some discretionary income on something I might like for myself. This may happen 2-3 times a year. 

 

Be responsible, be loving, and be kind, and you don't have to hide anything. That is to say, you are doing your part, it is a two sided marriage:)

Oh for sure. She is my queen . I get her almost anything she wants. We have been togather for 17 yrs now and she is great. But I do have to be carefull with the money since she is great with numbers ,,,, she is a Math Teacher :rofl:

Edited by tercel89
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