BEST EVER BLONDE JOKE

[Guest nraforlife]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help

me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get

started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over

the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to

her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to

assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a

nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . ... .. .

(scroll down)

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box ."

[Guest db99wj]

[bobmack]

good one

[G27]

A man walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar.

He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then, the gator will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink".

The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth. as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer Bottle and smacked the Alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A Blonde woman timidly spoke up.......... "I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle"!

[G27]

A blonde entered a store shopping and spotted this thing on sale. The thing was a thermos and she asked the sales clerk what it did. The clerk replied that the thermos kept hot things hot and cold things cold.

The blonde thought that was wonderful and bought the thermos. Next day the blonde went to work and took the thermos with her. She proudly sat the thermos on her desk.

Later in the morning the blonde's boss, who was also a blonde, walked by the desk and while conversing she spotted the thermos. The blonde boss asked the blonde employee what the thing was on her desk. The employee responded: "it's a thermos." The boss of course had to ask what it did. Again the employee responded confidently: "It keeps hot thing hot and cold things cold."

The boss was impressed. As she started to walk away the boss turned to the employee and asked: " What do you have in your thermos."

The employee responded: "A cup of hot coffee and a popsicle."

[Guest 45AUTO]

:rofl: LOVE THE JOKES

[saintsfanbrian]

How is a blonde different from a washing mashine?

You can dump a load in the washing machine and it won't follow you around or call you every day for the next week.

[deerslayer]

What do you get when you turn a blond upside-down?

a brunette with bad breath.

[Guest tnmale46]

[Guest Grout]

A blonde is on vacation in Fla. and sees a sign advertising alligator shoes for sale.She stops and is told by the salesman the shoes are $500 a pair.The blonde says "That is too expensive,I'll just kill an alligator and get a pair of shoes". The salesman just rolls his eyes and walks away.On the way home from work he passes a swamp and 5 dead alligators are laying on the bank.The blonde is standing knee deep in the water holding a rifle and a 12 foot alligator is swimming straight at her.When the gator is about 5 feet away she shoots him right between the eyes,slings the rifle across her back,grabs the gator by the tail and drags him up on the bank.She then stomps her foot,looks toward the sky and says "Damn,this one is barefoot too".

[Guest Engloid]

A guy and his blonde girlfriend drive to the grocery store to get some milk. The guy drops her off at the door and drives out in the lot to wait on her to get the milk. She walks out and sees a drink machine by the door. She stares at it for a few seconds, tilting her head like an inquisitive dog would. She reaches into her pocket and puts 50 cents into the machine. She hits a button and a drink comes out. She places the drink at her feet and does it again, hitting a different button. She does this about 6 times. Her boyfriend pulls up and asks what she's doing. She replies, "Duh!!! I'm win-ning!!"

[Guest canynracer]

How can you tell that a Blonde has been in front of your computer???

There is White Out on the screen...

[Guest canynracer]

How do you drown a Blonde?

Put a "Scratch n' Sniff" sticker at the bottom of the pool.

[Guest Spuds]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

[Guest canynracer]

ROFL!!

[clipslinger]

three blondes go south on vacation to disney world. they cross the border to florida and on into orlando and passed the sign that says DISNEYLAND LEFT. so they turned around and went home.

[clipslinger]

Whats the difference between a blonde and a pair of sunglasses? The glasses sit higher on your face.

[saintsfanbrian]

Okay - for all the blonde women out there:

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"