Horror stories of the Kirby vacuum salesman

[10-Ring]

Last night my wife and I were spending some quality time together doing some projects around the house.  Specifically, we were hanging curtain rods in a front bedroom.  We just bought this house and still are not completely moved in.  We see a Suburban pull up out front and a very nice looking young girl gets out and rings the doorbell.  Since I will not answer the door for people that I do not know my wife decided to answer the door.  The girl says that they have started a new business cleaning floors and that they would buff the living room floor for free if we would fill out a short survey.  I didn't like it from the get go but the next thing I know two pill head looking guys are in my house with a Kirby vacuum cleaner and the good looking girl disappears.  It was already 8:00 when they rang the doorbell.  Before she answered the door I told her not to buy anything.  I go about my business and was very short with the sales people, although I was trying to keep an eye on both of them, fortunately, since we are still moving there is not really anything of value in the house, and I really did feel like we were being scoped.  Two hours later the guy has knocked the price down to $1700 + tax.  I don't make impulse buys and don't finance stuff, and honestly we have put a few thousand dollars in the house over the last few weeks so I didn't feel like a $1700 vacuum cleaner was a good financial move.  The wife however was starting to bite on it.  Eventually the salesman tells me that Kirby is certified by the Heart and Lung Association, which I don't really know much about, but because of that the purchase price is 100% tax deductible because of medical conditions that my daughter has.  I tell him to show me that in writing.  He then tells me that because I am self employed I can clean my car with it and write it off as a business expense.  I know better, and a realize that he is not answering my questions, but instead offering other solutions.  At this point I just want these people out of my house as it is already after 10pm.  Guy tells me that if he doesn't make this sell then he's not going to reach his quota this month, blah, blah, not my problem.  I do a quick search on Bing and find that there are several people that have been told that the vacuum can be taken as a deduction due to medical conditions, yet when they did their taxes that was not the case.  I showed the salesman what I had found, at that point he just kind of gave up.  I felt violated, but not nearly as violated as I would have if we had bought the stupid thing.  The guy asked for a drink once and my wife gave him a glass of water.  About 30 minutes later he asked if we had anything besides water, and my wife gave him one of my beers.  I've been telling her that I want to get a no soliciting sign to put by the doorbell, I think after last night that purchase will be approved.  There was just so much wrong with the whole situation, the whole thing just kind of ticked me off.  I think my wife now also understands why I will not answer the door for strangers and why I don't want people that I do not know in my house.

[jimic]

Wow...........Should have thrown them out !

Edited May 23, 2013 by jimic

[Volzfan]

I keep my gun on my hip until I go to bed. When anyone comes to the door and I tell them that I'm not interested thru the still locked security door, the sight of my piece seems to put a nice exclamation point on my statement that I am NOT interested!

I don't buy anything from DTD salesmen/women! Well maybe Girl Scout Cookies!

Edited May 23, 2013 by Volzfan

[LagerHead]

10-ring, it sounds like it's time for you to just make a hard fast rule about salesmen entering your home. This might be considered sexist by a few but the fact is most men consider it their responsibility to provide the safety for the home, whatever form that might take. If that is the case then you get to make the rules regarding it. 

[ted]

When we bought our house , jest moved in wanting to sell us a Kirby vac his was 2,000 for the compleate setup with the wood floor and carpet cleaning kit , when I told him no funny how it dropped from 2,000 to 1,500 I sad no again , he said I tell ya what this is the last one that I have to sell for the month ill sell it to yo for 1,000 I said no thanks then he said ok ill sell you the whole package for 700.00 .i said done deal, if he threw in a case of vac bags and 1 extra drive belt. He said ok, so I have one and it is the best I say the best vac I have ever had going on 7 years now works jest like new and will suck the hell out of any thing, ps. Thay will come down on the price.ps I would not have ever let 2 men in my house jest saying. And I'm sure you where pacing heat wright. Edited May 23, 2013 by ted

[10-Ring]

I keep my gun on my hip until I go to bed. When anyone comes to the door and I tell them that I'm not interested thru the still locked security door, the sight of my piece seems to put a nice exclamation point on my statement that I am NOT interested!

I don't buy anything from DTD salesmen/women! Well maybe Girl Scout Cookies!

I know I should but I don't, by the time I get home from work I'm tired of carrying it around, I lock the doors and my gun goes on top of my dresser.  When they showed up I happened to be wearing athletic shorts, and my Glock just keeps pulling them down :yuck:!  It's a balance of safety vs comfort and I live in a neighborhood that I feel pretty good about so I usually do not hesitate to take my gun off when I get home for the day.  I think I'll just start answering the door with the 870 in hand.

 

10-ring, it sounds like it's time for you to just make a hard fast rule about salesmen entering your home. This might be considered sexist by a few but the fact is most men consider it their responsibility to provide the safety for the home, whatever form that might take. If that is the case then you get to make the rules regarding it. 

That's always been my policy, my wife is very trusting and has problems telling people to get off the porch.  I think after this experience and the talk we had afterwards she is seeing things more my way now.  Funny thing is we don't have a shred of carpet in this house.  Before we went to bed I asked her "How would we feel right now if we had just dropped two grand on a vacuum cleaner and we don't even have carpet, because I don't think I would be sleeping tonight if we did."  Also the way they sent a respectable looking person to the door and then sent in the crackheads showed her that things are not always as they seem.  The salesman was very pushy and very intense.  Luckily I'm really good at finding holes in the facts which is what I finally did in order to shut him down. 

[UncleJak]

I had a group try the same run on me a few years ago. I told them to buzz off.  I didn't even open the door fully to allow them to look in.  I know for a fact they were trying to "case" the house.  I went to work the next day and told the story to co-workers.  The day after that I came into work and one of my co-workers girlfriends had let them in her house to do a "demo"(after he had warned her about my story).  There were four people in the house and all moving in differnt directions.  After they left she noticed all the cash was gone from her wallet.  They called the police and the whole deal, but that money was long gone. 

Moral of my story: Do not let anyone in your house that you don't fully trust!

[Hozzie]

I absolutely despise solicitors.  If I want something, I will call you.  I find that with my 90lb Weimi barking like a mad man at the front door when I open it, they tend to not stick around when I say I am not interested.  Well, that and my pleasant demeanor that basically says get the "F" off my front porch.  I am ok with the neighbor kids selling cookies and such, but total strangers selling vacuums or preaching is no go.   

[Volzfan]

[Wyldk2]

I don't answer the phone for numbers i do not recognize( if itis thatimportant leave a message) most don't though.  UPS/Fed-x and postal I'll answerdoor for, but keep mypistol in close reach.

 

I'd put outa sign thatsaid no soliciting, and a driveway monitor( detector). So you have warning.

[10-Ring]

I don't answer the phone for numbers i do not recognize( if itis thatimportant leave a message) most don't though.  UPS/Fed-x and postal I'll answerdoor for, but keep mypistol in close reach.

 

I'd put outa sign thatsaid no soliciting, and a driveway monitor( detector). So you have warning.

Really good ideas.  I've been wanting a sign, seems about everyday I'm home during the week someone is knocking on the door trying to sell something.

[Mike.357]

why would anyone let a total stranger into their home?

 

Not happening here.  Chances are I will meet you as you get out of your car, and I come from an angle where they don't see me until i speak.

 

A dog makes a great early warning system.  If someone comes down my driveway besides my wife or mother in-law the dog starts barking.  And after she goes off I go off.

 

I am generally not very nice to uninvited guests.

[Erik88]

why would anyone let a total stranger into their home?

Not happening here. Chances are I will meet you as you get out of your car, and I come from an angle where they don't see me until i speak.

A dog makes a great early warning system. If someone comes down my driveway besides my wife or mother in-law the dog starts barking. And after she goes off I go off.

I am generally not very nice to uninvited guests.

this！ Edited May 23, 2013 by Erik88

[UncleJak]

I have a sign by my front door that reads: "Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.  I showed it to a salesman one day, he laughed, musta thought it was a joke...

[Guest TankerHC]

I had very similar Kirby experience back in the 80's down to the beer part. We get out of the field and I go home and on the way grab a 12 pack. Around 8 O'Clock, same as you this guy knocks on the door, only he was super clean cut, wearing nice clothes and a tie. And he had his vacuum cleaner with him, so I knew what it was right away and told him not interested. Instead of trying to continue to sell, this guy gets this depressing look on his face turns around and starts walking down the driveway. I could have shut the door and that would have been it but instead I yelled at him to come back. Asked him "Are you trying to sell vacuum cleaners or you just knocking on doors" he says, was trying to sell vacuum cleaners, I hate this. Said he had just got out of the Navy 2 weeks earlier and needed a job and never though he would be reduced to selling vacuum cleaners door to door and wished he had not got out. I verified his service and ETS date, he showed me his DD214 and he was same pay grade as me (E-5) so I told him to come on in but I still wasnt buying a vacuum cleaner, I had one and even if I were I was not going to buy a vacuum cleaner for $1200. He tells me he had started this only 3 days earlier. He was on probation and he had yet to sell a single vacuum cleaner and his boss was up the street in his car waiting to see if he would sell one and do the old phone scam if he was having a problem. But if he left, that was it and he needed a job. So I told him he could hang out for a while and drink a few beers but dont even start talking about a vacuum cleaner so we ended up sitting there having beers and talking military (He was in Avionics on a Carrier and had participated in the Libya Bombing) and comparing Navy-Army that sort of thing. I did eventually ask him about the Kirby's (Still wasnt buying one) and he said that not only did he have to sell a certain amount to come off probation, but he had to offer a car vac that he had to pay for out of his own pocket if he didn't sell a Kirby. (Think they charged him 5 bucks for each one). I told him to set the Kirby up and I would set up my $100 Panasonic and as far as the vacuum part if his Kirby could do anything that my Panasonic couldn't I would buy a Kirby. Well he put some stuff on the floor, my Panasonic did it better, he sucked up this steel thing shaped like a bullet, my Panasonic did too. Then he said he was working off a script, there was a question and when I said NO, which every customer would, he was to call his boss (Who was sitting up the street) and go through a predetermined script to make it look like they were giving me a deal and he asked if he could ask me the question. I said no, didnt want to hear the question but here is your answer "NO", now you can call your boss. He gets on my phone, calls his boss, goes through the script and we sat there BS'd drank a few more beers, called his boss one more time and left. He was glad he just got to come in to make it look like he was trying to sell to his boss. At one point his boss wanted to know if he could talk to my wife, NO. Although my wife was as hard headed about buying from door to door salesman as I was.

 

Two weeks later I stopped in at Little Ceasers in Fountain (Just outside Colorado Springs) and he was the manager.

Today I own two Kirby's, both given to me for free and I dont use either one of them.

Edited May 23, 2013 by TankerHC

[Trekbike]

Today I own two Kirby's, both given to me for free and I dont use either one of them.

You might be able to sell one to 10-Ring, I hear he's looking for a Kirby. :)

[LagerHead]

I had very similar Kirby experience back in the 80's down to the beer part. We get out of the field and I go home and on the way grab a 12 pack. Around 8 O'Clock, same as you this guy knocks on the door, only he was super clean cut, wearing nice clothes and a tie. And he had his vacuum cleaner with him, so I knew what it was right away and told him not interested. Instead of trying to continue to sell, this guy gets this depressing look on his face turns around and starts walking down the driveway. I could have shut the door and that would have been it but instead I yelled at him to come back. Asked him "Are you trying to sell vacuum cleaners or you just knocking on doors" he says, was trying to sell vacuum cleaners, I hate this. Said he had just got out of the Navy 2 weeks earlier and needed a job and never though he would be reduced to selling vacuum cleaners door to door and wished he had not got out. I verified his service and ETS date, he showed me his DD214 and he was same pay grade as me (E-5) so I told him to come on in but I still wasnt buying a vacuum cleaner, I had one and even if I were I was not going to buy a vacuum cleaner for $1200. He tells me he had started this only 3 days earlier. He was on probation and he had yet to sell a single vacuum cleaner and his boss was up the street in his car waiting to see if he would sell one and do the old phone scam if he was having a problem. But if he left, that was it and he needed a job. So I told him he could hang out for a while and drink a few beers but dont even start talking about a vacuum cleaner so we ended up sitting there having beers and talking military (He was in Avionics on a Carrier and had participated in the Libya Bombing) and comparing Navy-Army that sort of thing. I did eventually ask him about the Kirby's (Still wasnt buying one) and he said that not only did he have to sell a certain amount to come off probation, but he had to offer a car vac that he had to pay for out of his own pocket if he didn't sell a Kirby. (Think they charged him 5 bucks for each one). I told him to set the Kirby up and I would set up my $100 Panasonic and as far as the vacuum part if his Kirby could do anything that my Panasonic couldn't I would buy a Kirby. Well he put some stuff on the floor, my Panasonic did it better, he sucked up this steel thing shaped like a bullet, my Panasonic did too. Then he said he was working off a script, there was a question and when I said NO, which every customer would, he was to call his boss (Who was sitting up the street) and go through a predetermined script to make it look like they were giving me a deal and he asked if he could ask me the question. I said no, didnt want to hear the question but here is your answer "NO", now you can call your boss. He gets on my phone, calls his boss, goes through the script and we sat there BS'd drank a few more beers, called his boss one more time and left. He was glad he just got to come in to make it look like he was trying to sell to his boss. At one point his boss wanted to know if he could talk to my wife, NO. Although my wife was as hard headed about buying from door to door salesman as I was.

 

Two weeks later I stopped in at Little Ceasers in Fountain (Just outside Colorado Springs) and he was the manager.

Today I own two Kirby's, both given to me for free and I dont use either one of them.

 

When my dad was stationed at Ft. Carson we too lived in Fountain. 7311 Old Pioneer Trail. We were the first owners of that house. It was great living there as a kid. There was lots of room right behind the house to ride our motorcycles. We would just take off out the back door of the garage. Good times. 

[TrickyNicky]

In my experience 8out of 10 Kirby salesmen are tweakers. I had a buddy who tried to join their sales force and just couldn't take working in that environment.

They wouldn't even see the inside of my house, I can yell through a door just fine.

[peejman]

heh... I've got a good one...

 

About 10 yrs ago, I was home alone (don't remember where my wife was) and had just started cleaning my SKS on the coffee table when the door bell rang. Just for laughs, I answered the door with the rifle in hand (the bolt was sitting on the coffee table). The 19 yr old kid's eye got kinda big, but he took a deep breath and launched into his pitch. The fact that the came in anyway impressed me, so I let him go. I continued cleaning the rifle while he talked. At every opportunity I'd clack, snap, or pop pieces together quite loudly just to watch him flinch. I had to try hard to keep a straight face. He started sweating.   :)

 

He went through the whole demo of comparing the Kirby to my current vacuum and extolled the virtues of the Kirby. Being the nerdy engineer type, I counter-pointed nearly every feature he said was better and challenged him to explain why it was better. He struggled a bit but didn't quit. He conceded a few things that I convinced him weren't actually any better, simply more (and unnecessarily) complicated. When he didn't have an answer, he said he would find out and let me know. Somewhere in there I got finished with the rifle and put it away.

 

As with everyone else, these sale presentations are exceedingly long and it was dinner time so I started fixing dinner for myself. I offer him something but he refused and continued with this pitch while I cooked. His boss came back by the house about the time I sat down to eat. She was pretty cute and I figured this is where she swoops in for the kill.   :dirty:

 

I told her that the kid was an excellent salesman and had performed admirably in the face of some pretty difficult questions. So while I'm eating my supper, time to talk brass tax comes. She dropped the $2100 bomb on me and I nearly choked.   :stunned:   $2100?!?! For a vacuum? Are you freakin' insane?    :eek:  Do you come with it and vacuum the house for me or something? My current vacuum cost me $100, do you know how much ammo I could buy with the other $2000? 

 

We go back and forth for a while and the price eventually drops down to $700, which is still WAY more than I'd dream of spending on a vacuum. It had been over 2 hrs at this point and I decided I'd had enough fun for one night. So I looked the lady right in the eye and said (and I'm particularly proud of thinking this one up on the spot)....

 

"Ma'am, here's the deal. If I'm gonna spend that much money on something that sucks, it's damn sure gonna suck more than my carpet."   :wave:

 

The kid nearly exploded trying not to laugh. Again, I had a hard time keeping a straight face. She quickly and calmly packed up the vacuum and left. I still laugh thinking about it.   :rofl:

 

 

But there's more to the story... I told this story to some co-workers a day or two later. When I got to the $700 part, one of them says "Aw f_ck." Seems he paid $900 for his but should've held out a little longer.  

Edited May 23, 2013 by peejman

[Volphin]

I only support the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts and local band programs when they ask.  Everyone else can begone.

[Fourtyfive]

35 years ago I used to be the repair guy in one of their shops , I always heard the training sessions outside my repair area , have to say I didn't agree with what I heard , we'll leave it at that .........

Edited May 23, 2013 by Threeeighty

[RobertNashville]

Last night....

Kirby makes a good vacuum cleaner.  Unfortunately, their sales tactics SUCK.

 

I had a similar experience a few years ago and in fact it's one the reasons why now, I NEVER open my door to anyone if I'm not expecting them or don't know them.  Anyway, it took me a while to kick them out of my house too as these creeps just didn't understand the phrase "not interested".

 

What really pissed me off is, as with you, they lied about what they were doing...they presented themselves as just the "we'll clean one room of your carpet for free" rather than just tell me what they were really there for...I might actually have been receptive to buying a Kirby (I had one years ago but my ex got in in the divorce; like she ever knew how to use a vacuum cleaner! HA) but once I realized what they were really there for I had zero interest in one at that point.

[Fourtyfive]

(I had one years ago but my ex got in in the divorce; like she ever knew how to use a vacuum cleaner! HA)

 

Now that's funny.

[Guest TankerHC]

The only door knockers I have let in my house in the last 15-20 years was last week. Two Jehovahs Witnesses knocked on my door. Had not seen them before because I see them around. Explained to them I am Primitive Baptist, I do not intend to change my Religion and I keep my Religous beliefs to myself and REEEEEAAAAAALLLLYYYY dont want to discuss Religion with you (Them). Well they said "We arent here to talk Religion, what do you think about "Politics" and "War" and "Whats going on in the military" and "Global Disasters".

 

I fell for it. It didnt occur to me that I had heard Jehovahs Witnesses have no interest in the military. My mistake, they engaged me in topics I am interested in and I engaged them right back.

 

I thought they were going to spend the night. There was no getting them out the front door.

[jtmaze]

They can't find my house. If they do I will go out armed and talk(I like to talk), they will never come in. My wife just doesn't answer the door if home alone. just get them off topic talking about yourself and they ussually leave pretty quickly.