Honey....Is he my child?

[waynesan]

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the
older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the
youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he
turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest
with me - is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your
son."
With that, the husband peacefully passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God
he didn't ask about the other three."

[Randall53]

Oh...that is so wrong....but funny....LOL

[Guest RedLights&Sirens]

Ouch

[bubbiesdad]

From the book Big Fish, later a movie.

 

 

 

 

Josephine: Hi. How are you feeling?
Edward: Oh, I was dreaming.
Josephine: What were you dreaming about?
Edward: Well, I don’t usually remember unless they're especially portentous. You know what that word means? (she shakes her head.) Means when you dream about something that's gonna happen. Like one night, I had a dream where this crow came and said, “Your aunt is gonna die.” I was so scared I woke up my parents but they said it was just a dream, and to get back to bed. But the next morning, my aunt Stacy was dead.
Josephine: That's terrible.
Edward: Terrible for her, but think about me, young boy with that kind of power. Wasn't three weeks later that the crow came back to me in a dream and said, "Your daddy's gonna die." I didn't know what to do. I finally told my father. But he said, oh, not to worry, but I could see he was rattled. The next morning, he wasn't himself, kept looking around, waiting for something to drop on his head. Because the crow didn’t say how it was gonna happen, just those words: your daddy's gonna die. Well, he left home early and was gone for a long time. When he finally came back, he looked terrible, like he was waiting for the axe to fall all day. He said to my mother, "I've just had the worst day of my life." (beat)"You think you've had a bad day,” she said. “This morning the milkman dropped dead on the porch!"

[LCPfraTN]

Those are both hilarious! :rofl:

[gjohnsoniv]

Uh huh, ripping on the redheads again. Shame on you.

 

(Funny joke btw.)

[Wingshooter]

Funny x 2

Hahaha