Have any of you guys adopted a child in TN?

[maroonandwhite]

The wife and I have been looking into adopting a child for a little while now and I am trying to get some first hand experience with someone who has done this in TN. Any and all stories, experiences, advice, etc. will be appreciated. One of my biggest concerns is with guns being in the house and on my side most of the time. If I am correct then the state will send someone out to do a study on us and see if we are capable in the state's eyes of raising a child. Obviously I will have all of my guns locked up when/if we do this but am still wondering if it will negatively affect our chances just by having guns in the house.

[pops572]

I worked with a man and he and his wife were foster parents that eventually adopted one of the children, truly one of those horribly sad cases parents both druggies dad killed mom left little girl with no one. This couple took her and went theu the adoption process, last I heard she was attending UT majoring in law. Anyway back to your question, he had a shotgun and .22 rifle and while they didn't expressly say he couldn't have them, he told me he got the vibe that if they were not in the home it would be better. Of course tey were being foster parents to a lot of troubled kids and such so that may play a bigger part than a straight adoption. However after they actually adopted, I know he did buy ashotgun.

[Caster]

Wouldn't it be a fairly simple thing in the long run to just pack them away until things are settled? Out of sight, out of mind. If they were all locked up in the garage for instance, you could honestly tell them there's no guns in the house. When the kid is yours free and clear, back to business as usual.

It may not sit well with your sense pride and patriotism but sometimes we have to do things we don't like to move forward.

[Hershmeister]

Yes - your home study will be an analysis of the safety of your home - think basic childproofing. Just have your firearms and ammo stores safely where kiddies can't get into them and you'll be GTG. Oh and take down that Dillon calendar :)

[maroonandwhite]

It may not sit well with your sense pride and patriotism but sometimes we have to do things we don't like to move forward.

 

Haha that's the biggest thing. Not really for pride but just for the fact that I don't want to "lie" on an application or interview like that. I think I'd be more comfortable being 100% honest about everything.

[MacGyver]

I know someone who just went through a home study. They want guns and ammo locked up separately.

[Hershmeister]

PS: depending on the type of adoption, it is quite likely that YOU will hire the agent to perform the home study. So while their report will go the state, you will have the opportunity to ask questions like this prior to selecting the social worker. Their biggest concerns are you're not going to make the kid a sex slave, cause them bodily harm or raise them in a meth lab. All of which will come back to put them in the news in a bad way,

[safeandsecure]

FWIW, my son and DIL have been foster parents and are in the adoption process.  You are right to be concerned, but in my son's case, the DCS case worker asked and he honestly informed her that yes, he did have firearms in the house, and that they are secured unless on his person, and that seemed to be sufficient.  Adoption still in the early stages, but the fostering process seems to me to be just as rigid as the initial adoption interviews and home studies.  Just confirming, from our perspective, the above advice and info.  Might also note that those case workers are like everyone else: some really good ones, some maybe not so good.  My son got a good one.

[maroonandwhite]

Either way this looks like it would be a viable excuse to buy a nice safe to replace my cheap gun cabinet. :up:

[Murgatroy]

I was never in a foster home growing up that had guns.

 

 

 

 

 

Now, with that out of the way. What infuriates me is when any piece of ghetto/hill trash can spit out as many kids as they like and use them for nothing more than a paycheck and a punching bag, and the state is fine with that, even stalling for years to remove the children from the home, and someone who is willing and capable to give a good home has to spend a small fortune and go through the wringer.

 

I can't think of a single home I was in as a child where I had 'loving' or 'caring' parents. I was a paycheck. I was to stay in my room. Not be out after dark. Even in my teen years when I was working, I was required to handle everything by myself, from clothing to food. It was not something I enjoyed, nor something I would wish on any other child.

 

I wish you luck, and I wish there were more like you.

[maroonandwhite]

I was never in a foster home growing up that had guns.

 

 

 

 

 

Now, with that out of the way. What infuriates me is when any piece of ghetto/hill trash can spit out as many kids as they like and use them for nothing more than a paycheck and a punching bag, and the state is fine with that, even stalling for years to remove the children from the home, and someone who is willing and capable to give a good home has to spend a small fortune and go through the wringer.

 

I can't think of a single home I was in as a child where I had 'loving' or 'caring' parents. I was a paycheck. I was to stay in my room. Not be out after dark. Even in my teen years when I was working, I was required to handle everything by myself, from clothing to food. It was not something I enjoyed, nor something I would wish on any other child.

 

I wish you luck, and I wish there were more like you.

Thanks for the compliment man. The wife and I have been trying to have one for almost two years now with no luck. The doc said we could have one for sure if we had to go en-vitro (sp?) While I would like to have a child of our own blood as well I can't shake the feeling that we need to look into this. It broke my heart to wade through the TN list of children up for adoption. Anywhere from 7 up to 17 and all of them have probably been in the system for quite some time.

[MississippiBoy]

Are you going through a DCS adoption or not????

[maroonandwhite]

I haven't even contacted anyone about it yet other than looking around online so I am not sure. We are still praying about it and soul searching about it.

[MississippiBoy]

Well I would worry more about them finding out that you like MSU then about the firearms.... Sorry a little jab from an Ole Miss fan. I see some foster and adopted children in counseling, and would be glad to answer any questions you might have. Just shoot me a PM.

[maroonandwhite]

Thanks I might take you up on that once we get our feet a little more wet.

[Hershmeister]

I would highly recommend watching the tv series "Adoption" that hallmark had on about 8 years ago. Was very helpful to my wife and I as it gave you a sense of the many types of adoptions that are available and it didn't flinch from showing the good/bad parts. International, domestic, foster etc. it's all here. Mostly good of course though. Some changes I'm sure have occurred in some of the legal and paperwork processes since these were produced.<br /><br />Warning - keep a box of Kleenex handy <br /><br />Episodes online here:<br /><br />http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/Adoption/Home<br /><br /><br />

[maroonandwhite]

Thanks Hersh. I will definately check those out tonight.

[DaveS]

When we had our "home study" they talked about guns, dogs and fenced in back yards. Guns were locked up, our pitbull went to a foster home (until after the adoption) and we had our yard fenced in. We also had a seperate bedroom for the baby which would be required anyways.

 

Dave S

[maroonandwhite]

We have Dachshunds that are probably the most docile, friendly dogs ever but they have been known to fight over who gets the doggy pillow haha. Fenced in back yard---check. Gun safe--- on the list. Did you guys pick who would do your "home study" or did you let the state appoint someone?

[safeandsecure]

In my son's case, it's a DCS foster child.  DCS is handling affairs.

 

They only intended to help the DIL's family-member/foster mother in keeping the child for a day every once in a while, and ended up falling in love with him (as we all did).  He's just 2, but does have some issues (as we all do).  Anyway, they have had their first visit with an attorney to begin the adoption process after about 8 months as foster parents to the lil guy.

 

Edit: Wanted to adopt sooner, but had to wait for the court process to end parental rights.

Edited April 25, 2013 by safeandsecure

[LI0NSFAN]

I have had several friends that have adopted through Bethany Christian Services. I know that all of them had 10+ guns in the house and all have their HCP and one told me that the person doing the interview just asked if there was any firearms in the house. They said yes and that was the end of it. In one case they actually had more of an issue with the pool. They forced them to put up a fence before they would even finish the application but never even asked if the guns were locked up. I guess ever organization is different. I would HIGHLY suggest Bethany Christian Services

[DaveS]

We have Dachshunds that are probably the most docile, friendly dogs ever but they have been known to fight over who gets the doggy pillow haha. Fenced in back yard---check. Gun safe--- on the list. Did you guys pick who would do your "home study" or did you let the state appoint someone?

State appointed for us. DHS/DCS. Our attorney was here also.

 

Dave S

[maroonandwhite]

Well I must say adoption is expensive! I never realized it was THAT expensive though. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's nothing compared to what you recieve (and give to a child) by spending $20-$30k.) We will have all of our debt except for the house paid off when we decide to do this so it won't be difficult to get another loan for the amount. Thanks for all the advice so far guys. I have learned alot and plan on attending a meeting here soon to get more info.

[Guest Emtdaddy1980]

I've got one I might be willing to lease out for half that.

[maroonandwhite]

HAHA I've heard that one before so you are not alone!

 

We may also consider adoption from foster care. This is substantially cheaper than newborn adoption. I don't want money to be the deciding factor in what we do but it will play a part.