Just got this

[Guest page90lx]

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR:

2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia

,

formerly known as California.

.

White minorities still trying to have

English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United State crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran

still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France

pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica

.No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight

loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts

executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030

I RS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.

[TripleDigitRide]

All of those were great, but the fact that I'm struggling with weight loss (or lack thereof), I especially loved these.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weightloss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

I'll be a happy SOB when I can manage to find my way to the 250 mark. Sad, I know.

[Guest GLOCKGUY]

All of those were great, but the fact that I'm struggling with weight loss (or lack thereof), I especially loved these.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weightloss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

I'll be a happy SOB when I can manage to find my way to the 250 mark. Sad, I know.

ill be gald when or if i can hit the 200 mark so my wife will shut up

[strickj]

ill be gald when or if i can hit the 200 mark so my wife will shut up

Just get rid of the wife and you will instantly lose 200 lbs (or whatever she weights)

[musicman]

I'm with you TDR.... it seems impossible for me to break 300... stupid cheeseburgers!