What about me?

[Guest 2HOW]

I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down

terrorists.. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing assbackwards. Instead of sending 18-year

olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be

able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old

guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more

than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky

soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep , I'm

tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting u s kill some

******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and

shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys

always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said,

'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well

be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-*****.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we

put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real

brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting

screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also

developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years

as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and

yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in

combat and didn't s ee a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over

the side, nor did I ever do any pu shups after completing basic

training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the 'New army' now, 'Get down

and give me ...ER ... one.'

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've

never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning

to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still

hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes,

not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a

little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old g uys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists.

The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of

million pissed-off old farts with 'attitude' and automatic weapons

who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol.....we will have it secured

the first night !

[Guest Major Pain]

+1, I couldn't have said it better myself.--MP

[memphismason]

this was good!