Personal space

[Caster]

Could someone smarter than me please explain personal space as described by the law with emphasis on defense and fear for ones safety?


Reason being, I work with the public in retail sales. More than once I have had people who do not understand personal space. The majority of the time I can just take a step or two back and all is well.

Today, a man comes in, walks up to me and starts talking. Never stops closing in so I casually back away a step and converse with him. He takes a step toward me and I take a step back. He's closing less than 10 inches away from me. That crap makes me nervous. We're damn near dancing the tango. After four times I just flat out tell him "Look fella, we're standing in a 20ft wide, 30ft long driveway. Any reason you keep moving toward me repeatedly?". He was a little miffed. Asked me what the hell my problem was and I told him, "My problem is another grown man trying to stand closer to me than my own wife."
I didn't have what he needed anyway so I sent him on his way.

Call me a coward or a pussy or what have you but a stranger, in a wide open area, trying to get closer than a couple of feet from me makes me nervous. I understand that don't fly everywhere. I was at the gunshow this weekend and it was elbow to elbow. BUT, in an open area where I take a step away, then you step forward and I step back again only to have you come closer AGAIN, that's a problem with me.

Sad part is what would have happened had he stepped forward again after I said something about it. Getting into an altercation is the last thing i need or want.

Two words the world does not know. "Common Courtesy" The world is certainly common, but somewhere we lost the courtesy of a gentleman.

[LI0NSFAN]

Knee them in the groin and just say "sorry, muscle spasm".  All joking aside, I dealt with this a lot when I worked at UT. I started telling people I was Claustrophobic and asked if they could just back up a step, it worked 99% of the time with no issue at all. Both walked away happy and not offended. 

Edited February 11, 2013 by STAHDKnoxville

[TMF]

Haha, you're just being anti-social. If you went to an airport in India your head would effing explode.

[Jonnin]

There is a personality type that has to be in your face --- this is usually the same type as the ones that think that they have to talk louder than everyone else because they are more important.  I think you did well. 

 

There is no need to get in a fight over this --- the guy probably did not even realize he was doing it.   Any chance he was a yankee? :whistle:

[peejman]

Some people just don't get that.  Its a cultural thing in some places.  I try to be friendly, but arms length is close enough.  It's nice to have some sort of physical barrier to keep them from getting too close.

 

My 5 yr old is that way.  He frequently likes to get right up in my face, inches away.  He's my son, but sometimes its just.... "Ok kiddo, you're breathing my air.  Back up."

[Caster]

Haha, you're just being anti-social. If you went to an airport in India your head would effing explode.

LOL
Don't start like you guys did went I ranted about people touching and shaking hands all the time. I'm serious. When I'm in Walmart, I understand having to stand close to people in line. In line at the DMV, waiting for a bucket of popcorn at the movies. Understood.
But the more space we have, the more space we should give. In a wide open area gimme two feet, jeez.

I wished to GOD I could have worked up a chili dog/Strohs/nachos bell grande fart. I'd have give him a John Cleese and farted in his general direction.

[Caster]

There is a personality type that has to be in your face --- this is usually the same type as the ones that think that they have to talk louder than everyone else because they are more important.  I think you did well. 
 
There is no need to get in a fight over this --- the guy probably did not even realize he was doing it.   Any chance he was a yankee? :whistle:

Nope, redneck bubba with his oilskin hat and a pinch of copenhagen.

[Jonnin]

LOL
Don't start like you guys did went I ranted about people touching and shaking hands all the time. I'm serious. When I'm in Walmart, I understand having to stand close to people in line. In line at the DMV, waiting for a bucket of popcorn at the movies. Understood.
But the more space we have, the more space we should give. In a wide open area gimme two feet, jeez.

I wished to GOD I could have worked up a chili dog/Strohs/nachos bell grande fart. I'd have give him a John Cleese and farted in his general direction.

My boss is a bit annoying so I keep some of those fiber breakfast bars on hand.  If he is feeling the need to chat I can down one of those and clear out my office before he eats up the whole day.

[Peace]

Hilarious. Well, now I can reassure my wife that the one essential "man-skill" serves an honorable and necessary purpose - most likely by design.

"It's not my fault, babe, I gotta keep it tuned up. We may really need this some day."

[Oh Shoot]

Haha, you're just being anti-social. If you went to an airport in India your head would effing explode.

 

Yeah, it's often just a cultural thing. And "culture" can be regional in US too, as folks from cities tend to encroach on space more than rural folks.

 

Also, some folks are for whatever reason more gregarious than others. Touching is another trait that is affected by many variables, too.

 

- OS

[cj0e]

Talk with your hands.

 

If you use up extra space by waving your arms about (not wildly, mind you; but be expressive) that same space won't be available for them to occupy.

[Guest sL1k]

faking a fart works just as well as a real one.

[JReedEsq]

You should cough and tell people you have the flu.  If it helps you can throw in the avian flu, swine flu or whatever the flavor of the month is.  My work takes me to lots of interesting places that may not be that clean.  Courthouses, jails, and occasionally meeting people in homes with lots of interesting smells etc... The last thing I ever want to do is bring home germs to my kids... I'm not shy at all about pulling out a note pad and using the notepad and/or my briefcase to make some space between me and whoever I'm talking to.  

Edited February 11, 2013 by JReedEsq

[Guest 6.8 AR]

Somehow, knowing you, Caster, I can visualize how it went down, even with the John Cleese factor being "take 2"

of the situation. :D

 

That's a hoot! And I do feel your pain about it. Annoying.

[dcloudy777]

Interview stance.... or just stop showering.  :cool:

[gjohnsoniv]

I talk with my hands and if someone gets too close I will kind of rock back and stick my arms out. Seems to work for me when I'm dealing with a large number of people per day. Also don't go to Russia, they love talking close.

[quesogrande]

Nope, redneck bubba with his oilskin hat and a pinch of copenhagen.

I like this discription - 

 

Talk about Jesus or ask for money people will get away from you fast -

[Guest Razz]

   Any chance he was a yankee? :whistle:

I'm a Yankee and if you're in my personal space, you're gonna have a bad time. Just ask my wife.

Caster, I'm with you 100% on this. There is no excuse for standing that close.

[Raoul]

Maybe it's just your magnetic personality

[Raoul]

All kidding aside, for some reason I'm the guy people want to talk to, The crap they tell me...

[Randall53]

I don't want anyone I don't know within an arms length.  If they do I'll tell them step back.  They can like it or walk away.

[.357SIG]

Americans are generally comfortable with extended arms length away, many other cultures it is normal to stand elbow distance from someone while talking.

 

Try it with your friends, approach them and tell them to say when they are uncomfortable it will be within centimeters of the above distances.

 

But I agree with the OP, stay out of my space!

[Wyldk2]

I had my share when i worked at Lowe's time back. There's so much i can stand, and being in one's space is not one of them.  Another one is reading over my shoulder.

 

Nowadays since i work out of the retail field, we all respect each other's spaces. But when out in public i can understand being around crowds of people. But in wide open spaces, give me some room.

[RED333]

I know Caster, saw Him this weekend, he is a good smelling man, the guy just liked the way you smell Caster. :cool:

All joking a side, I have put my arm out and told people not to get that close, some take it well, some dont.

Not my worry.

[runco]

Add a cough like someone else suggested.  Make it a wet one.  In fact, while you are talking, try to talk with a lisp, with a little extra saliva in the mix.  That will surely make them back up.

Edited February 12, 2013 by Runco