Republican vs Democrat -- Jeff Foxworthy

[xRUSTYx]

I don't think this could have been summed up any better :)

 

 

Which side of the fence?

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".

 

Jeff Foxworth

 

 

Edited January 28, 2013 by xRUSTYx

[Rightwinger]

Link needs a fixin

[xRUSTYx]

Fixed :)

[flyanything]

I like Jeff and the way he thinks.

[Steelharp]

Well, he certainly is "Smarter than a President."

[Chris]

Well, he certainly is "Smarter than a President."

Talk about damning with faint praise.

[Chief07]

I don't think this could have been summed up any better :)

Gotta love Jeff. 

[LagerHead]

Gotta love Jeff. 

 

I do. Too bad this isn't his work.

[mcurrier]

Standard Hospital Pricing Procedure

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family
member lay gravely ill. inally,
the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried
faces. "The only hope
left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental
procedure, very risky,
but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have
to pay for the BRAIN."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone
asked, "How much
will a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain; $200 for a
Republican's brain."

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to 'try' to not
smile, avoiding eye
contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally
blurted out the question
everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a
Republican's brain?"

The doctor smiled and explained to the entire group, " It's just standard
pricing procedure. We have
to price the Republicans' brains a lot lower because they're used."