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Two Dollar Bill... For Real?


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Posted

Just saw this on FB.  Thought it was funny so I figured I'd share.

 

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!

I'm STILL laughing!! ♥ Like & Share ♥

READ THIS...
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.

The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'


Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be voting soon!!?!

YIKES!!!

Too late, we already have a nation full of them.

  • Like 6
Posted

About 1.5-2 years ago, there was a  movement for pro 2A folks to pay for everything possible with $2 bills to make a point.

 

I think the point was made that you can't get enough of them, and as your story points out, younger folks don't even know they're real.

 

- OS

Posted

Hilarious story :)

 

You know how I know you go to gun shows?  Cuz it's the only place they give $2 bills as change!

Posted (edited)
You know how I know you go to gun shows? Cuz it's the only place they give $2 bills as change!


Not true we had a bachelor party for my friend and the strip club would only make change in $2 bills. The groom-to-be asked the bartender for change for a $100 bill and received 50 $2 bills ;) Edited by z0mbies fear me
Posted

I regularly ask my bank for 2 dollar bills,  Best I have ever got was about 24 dollars worth.

 

Normally I use them as tips and such but I spend them as well.

 

Dollar coins are the same, it confuses people.

Posted

I might start using $2 bills at Taco Bell just to confound the morons working there who are seemingly incapable of providing me with the correct number and types of sauces I request.

Posted
[quote name="Garufa" post="870815" timestamp="1356734576"]I might start using $2 bills at Taco Bell just to confound the morons working there who are seemingly incapable of providing me with the correct number and types of sauces I request.[/quote] I'm confounded that adults still eat at Taco Bell. That stuff is deadly to folks above the age of 21.
  • Like 1
Posted
[quote name="luke9511" post="870823" timestamp="1356734941"]I love taco bell my fav is the 5 layer burrito[/quote] Iron liver and bowels. I haven't been to a Taco Bell since before we invaded Iraq.
Posted (edited)
I regularly ask my bank for 2 dollar bills,  Best I have ever got was about 24 dollars worth.

 

Normally I use them as tips and such but I spend them as well.

 

Dollar coins are the same, it confuses people.

I had a client who carried an actual coin purse around with nothing but dollar coins. Called them his pirate gold. Course he was one of those guys you see in the park whacking other people with foam swords and stuff so....nuff said.

Edited by gnmwilliams
  • Moderators
Posted
I'm confounded that adults still eat at Taco Bell. That stuff is deadly to folks above the age of 21.

I eat there pretty often before work. I don't like my coworkers..
  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

My wife use to work at a bank. Says every Monday this attactive lady would come in and deposit large sums of money, all in $2 bills. I told my wife she was a dancer, the exotic type. She asked why $2 bills, I told her it was ingenius way to get a 100% pay raise for doing the same job.  Till this day, my wife will not even touch any $2 bills anymore.

Edited by Runco
  • Like 1
Posted
[quote name="z0mbies fear me" post="870795" timestamp="1356733159"]You know how I know you go to gun shows? Cuz it's the only place they give $2 bills as change! Not true we had a bachelor party for my friend and the strip club would only make change in $2 bills. The groom-to-be asked the bartender for change for a $100 bill and received 50 $2 bills ;)[/quote] Yup , I've got prob 4 2 dollar bills in my wallet from gun shows !
Posted
My wife use to work at a bank. Says every Monday this attactive lady would come in and deposit large sums of money, all in $2 bills. I told my wife she was a dancer, the exotic type. She asked why $2 bills, I told her it was ingenius way to get a 100% pay raise for doing the same job.  Till this day, my wife will not even touch any $2 bills anymore.

Yep. They make more money in tips. We always got the sweaty money at our branch.

Posted
Try paying with $1 coins. The Susan B Anthony is the best {they think it is a quarter} Then the Sacagawea does good also.
Posted
I had not seen $1 coins in years until I went to work at Amazon.Thats all the change machines in the break rooms spit out.You put in a $1 bill you get a $1 coin back,$5 bill/5 $ coins back
Posted
I had a client who carried an actual coin purse around with nothing but dollar coins. Called them his pirate gold. Course he was one of those guys you see in the park whacking other people with foam swords and stuff so....nuff said.

 

Uh-OH.  You weren't supposed to say anything....

Posted

Had a friend who wanted to try his hand at counterfeiting money... But his first try didn't turn out to great.

 

He printed notes... but he printed an "18" in the corners and not 20.

 

I'll never be able to pass the notes like this, he said...

 

I told him to try and get change for it at the old country store...  Tennessee hill people won't know the difference!

 

He came out of the store with a sad look... I ask if he got change... he said "no", the guy asked me if I wanted

 

two "nines" or three "sixes"!

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