Obama Signs EO Outlawing Guns! (Joke)

[gun sane]

Saying he was unwilling to let what he called a “lazy-a** Congress” go on a Kwanzaa break without doing something to end gun violence, President Obama on Sunday wrote and signed Executive Order No. 57-ought-nought, demanding that law enforcement officials in all 57 states immediately confiscate any and all guns believed to have been, or are potentially able to be used in crimes.

This is to be retroactive, so will include any and all guns, weapons, explosive devices, etc. made or imported into the continental United States and/or territories existing on or before the founding thereof. Per previous arrangements, imported fireworks are exempt.

The Smithsonian Institute has filed a complaint, stating that moving and melting down numerous guns, cannons and related explosive devices would be cost prohibitive, and would cause hardship when trying to rearrange the existing artifacts and update the catalogs regarding the remaining exhibits. The Director of the Smithsonian requested an immediate fund of $3.8 billion to offset the costs.

“This will get those dang guns off the street,” the President remarked as he signed the order, which was written on a cocktail napkin from the Kappuhualuhannilannamaliki-aha Hotel where he, the family and their entourage of 700 personal assistants, servants, cooks and interior decorators were staying.

Some Republican critics immediately criticized the order in a critical fashion, which other Democratic critics deemed overly critical.

Nonetheless, the critics of the first part noted that the executive order was unclear on whether the president meant to say law enforcement should arrest all “guns” or “gun owners,” primarily due to a large water ring left on the order by the president’s fifth papaya-mango daiquiri of the morning.


“What the ****?” said congressman Paul Ryan, furrowing his Eddie Munster-like brow into a full vampiric scowl.

Democratic Rep. Barney Frank also commented on the new executive order, but no one could understand what he was saying above the wet, flapping sound of his jowls. His office later released a statement in which he wrote, “It’s about time we put the blame where it belongs, on the weapon, not the weapon’s user. People don’t kill people. Guns kill people.”

Former speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, when asked about the president’s executive order, jumped up and down and giggled hysterically for several minutes before saying, “I just bought a gun recycling plant last week called Dolomite's Potjie Pot Meltdown Plant. I can’t wait to cash that check!”

Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid’s only comment was “Huh?” as he slipped back into a coma at his desk behind an inbox overflowing with unread budget proposals.

The executive order would also hold bullets and high-capacity magazines accountable as accessories to a crime.

Frank said he was glad that targeting scopes were exempted from criminal responsibility under the new law of the land. “Let’s face it,” Frank said, “targeting scopes are kind of gay. Therefore they must be given special consideration.”

Under the executive order, guns convicted of a crime would be melted down and turned into speculums and other probing devices for use by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.

Edited December 24, 2012 by gun sane

[Guest 6.8 AR]

Don't do that. :D

[RED333]

DADBURNIT, you got my heart racing.

[Wingshooter]

:taser:

 

Got my adrenalin up a little

Edited December 24, 2012 by Batman

[pcrc11]

Wonder how long this will take to spread. Somebody is gonna see the title of the thread and repost on another forum that they just read on the internet that Obama has signed the order. Then it will be off to the races. Dont forget that nurse who killed herself after that practical joke was played on her about the royal baby. I'll tell you right now there are some pretty riled up people ready to go to war over this debate on a popular Tennessee deer hunting website.

[LngRngShtr]

30 minute ban to teach you a lesson,...

 

stop reading those "alternate wolrd" sci fi books...

 

but if it wasn't so troubled a future that might have been funny...

 

I do give you credit for your creative writing abillity...

 

John

[Guest CigarGuy]

You just posted this, preemptively, to say "I told you so!" In the near future, didn't you?

[gun sane]

Wonder how long this will take to spread. Somebody is gonna see the title of the thread and repost on another forum that they just read on the internet that Obama has signed the order. Then it will be off to the races.

 

 

I do give you credit for your creative writing abillity...

 

I'd take the credit if it were mine.  It's making its way all over Gundom.   Of course, I'll get blamed if somebody does something "extreme" about it.  :wacko: :koolaid:

[Guest RobThatsMe]

UGghhhhh!    Don't make an old man's heart conditiion any worse! :surrender:

 

That deserves your Christmas stocking to be filled with coal!  :woohoo:

Edited December 24, 2012 by RobThatsMe

[TGO David]

Forum Admin uses Executive Order to change thread title to keep from scaring people to death....

[RED333]

Forum Admin uses Executive Order to change thread title to keep from scaring people to death....

Now that is an EO I can deal with. :rock:

[UncleJak]

I think  it is kinda funny, as long as it doesn't come true!

[pcrc11]

Forum Admin uses Executive Order to change thread title to keep from scaring people to death....

Good idea before somebody gets hurt.

[Dustbuster]

Under the executive order, guns convicted of a crime would be melted down and turned into speculums and other probing devices for use by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.

 

So kel tec will re tool to produce a tsa approved assmaster 1000 ??? LOL

[vontar]

Under the executive order, guns convicted of a crime would be melted down and turned into speculums and other probing devices for use by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.
 
So kel tec will re tool to produce a tsa approved assmaster 1000 ??? LOL

Yes but production would be limited to 3 a year. New York, Chicago, and Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood would get the first 3.

Plus the design would have problems and would cause key holing. Edited December 25, 2012 by vontar

[G27ATT]

[quote name='vontar' timestamp='1356478489' post='868588']Under the executive order, guns convicted of a crime would be melted down and turned into speculums and other probing devices for use by the TSA at airport security checkpoints. So kel tec will re tool to produce a tsa approved assmaster 1000 ??? LOLYes but production would be limited to 3 a year. New York, Chicago, and Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood would get the first 3.Plus the design would have problems and would cause key holing.[/quote] LMAO! Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk 2