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Why I deleted the "link"


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I know I don’t need to explain myself and not really sure it matters to some of you why I did what I did but here goes.

First off let me start by saying that we are a family oriented site and do our best to maintain that image. And sometimes in order to maintain that image some posts do need to be edited or deleted. It happens regularly and 99% of the time it goes unnoticed by the members here.

As far as why I deleted the link it was not emotion driven, at least not when I deleted it. Yes, as the thread dragged on I did get a bit emotional about it just like many other members here. And just because I am a moderator here does not mean I have to or that I even need to turn off my emotions and become a moderating zombie of sorts. Anyone who has come to me with a problem knows I have a true concern for them and their problems. Without any emotion, as some of you have suggested I should be, I would not be able to do that. I truly am concerned for everyone on this board like any family. Remember that care, concern and compassion are emotions just like disgust is an emotion.

For me the link was not a gun or 2[sup]nd[/sup] amendment issue even though it morphed into that. Anyone who knows me knows I am pro gun. Again, for me the link was not a gun rights issue but a domestic violence issue. When it was posted and I first saw it I had two options. Leave it or remove it. Trust me when I say I struggled with it for a bit. Then I realized there really isn’t a gray area when it comes to domestic violence or the abusers themselves.

If I were to leave it up then by inference anyone who might come and visit this board might see me, as well as the board, as supporting domestic violence and the damage it does. Remember, people are not going to see the petition as a gun rights issue but as a domestic violence issue. They might also view the members here who didn’t speak out against it as supporting domestic violence in some way. And I, for one, do not want to be associated with or be accused of supporting anything related to domestic violence.

Now on the other hand if I removed the link this is what would happen. It prevents anyone who might come and visit the site from ever questioning the stance the board has on domestic violence. And by deleting it that would also show it how we, as the TGO family, feel about domestic violence.

So for me I felt that by leaving it up nothing good could come of it.

Remember this is not a gun issue but a domestic violence issue. Domestic violence is a violent crime that has serious, long term emotional and sometimes physical effects on the victims. It affects their self esteem, self worth, confidence but most importantly it also affects those who are most likely to witness it, the children. Children mimic what they see and will grow up to do the same thing their parents have taught them. This only perpetuates the domestic violence problem. And I would hope we all agree that domestic violence is heinous and uncalled for under any circumstance. And we all should distance ourselves from anything that can be viewed as a pro domestic violence stance.

Remember, a person with [u]ONE[/u] post came on here with an agenda. He was either trying to garner support for his own, individual situation that we have no clue about or he was just trolling to create turmoil amongst our TGO family. Either way it seems like a complete stranger has been successful on one or both counts.

I do not hold grudges, I do not hate and I try to treat everyone here equally. Besides my memory is so bad that I wouldn’t be able to remember who I have a grudge against and who I don’t so I just don’t hold a grudge. Those that reported me I am not upset or out to get you. I welcome anyone who feels there is a problem with the board to hit the report button so we can address it, not just for you but for everyone.

I just needed to get this out there for people to see my reasoning. Please do not turn this into the same discussion as the previous thread, that is not why I posted this.

Dolomite
  • Like 10
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  • Admin Team
I think that one of the things that makes this forum unique is that as a general rule, the staff is quite willing to communicate the reasoning behind their actions.

That, and we have a membership that is generally unwilling to give troublemakers much slack.

Y'all are pretty self-moderating. I would be hard pressed to recall the last 5 administrative actions that we've had to take off the top of my head.
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[quote name='Dolomite_supafly' timestamp='1353039279' post='846370']
I know I don’t need to explain myself and not really sure it matters to some of you why I did what I did but here goes.

First off let me start by saying that we are a family oriented site and do our best to maintain that image. And sometimes in order to maintain that image some posts do need to be edited or deleted. It happens regularly and 99% of the time it goes unnoticed by the members here.

As far as why I deleted the link it was not emotion driven, at least not when I deleted it. Yes, as the thread dragged on I did get a bit emotional about it just like many other members here. And just because I am a moderator here does not mean I have to or that I even need to turn off my emotions and become a moderating zombie of sorts. Anyone who has come to me with a problem knows I have a true concern for them and their problems. Without any emotion, as some of you have suggested I should be, I would not be able to do that. I truly am concerned for everyone on this board like any family. Remember that care, concern and compassion are emotions just like disgust is an emotion.

For me the link was not a gun or 2[sup]nd[/sup] amendment issue even though it morphed into that. Anyone who knows me knows I am pro gun. Again, for me the link was not a gun rights issue but a domestic violence issue. When it was posted and I first saw it I had two options. Leave it or remove it. Trust me when I say I struggled with it for a bit. Then I realized there really isn’t a gray area when it comes to domestic violence or the abusers themselves.

If I were to leave it up then by inference anyone who might come and visit this board might see me, as well as the board, as supporting domestic violence and the damage it does. Remember, people are not going to see the petition as a gun rights issue but as a domestic violence issue. They might also view the members here who didn’t speak out against it as supporting domestic violence in some way. And I, for one, do not want to be associated with or be accused of supporting anything related to domestic violence.

Now on the other hand if I removed the link this is what would happen. It prevents anyone who might come and visit the site from ever questioning the stance the board has on domestic violence. And by deleting it that would also show it how we, as the TGO family, feel about domestic violence.

So for me I felt that by leaving it up nothing good could come of it.

Remember this is not a gun issue but a domestic violence issue. Domestic violence is a violent crime that has serious, long term emotional and sometimes physical effects on the victims. It affects their self esteem, self worth, confidence but most importantly it also affects those who are most likely to witness it, the children. Children mimic what they see and will grow up to do the same thing their parents have taught them. This only perpetuates the domestic violence problem. And I would hope we all agree that domestic violence is heinous and uncalled for under any circumstance. And we all should distance ourselves from anything that can be viewed as a pro domestic violence stance.

Remember, a person with [u]ONE[/u] post came on here with an agenda. He was either trying to garner support for his own, individual situation that we have no clue about or he was just trolling to create turmoil amongst our TGO family. Either way it seems like a complete stranger has been successful on one or both counts.

I do not hold grudges, I do not hate and I try to treat everyone here equally. Besides my memory is so bad that I wouldn’t be able to remember who I have a grudge against and who I don’t so I just don’t hold a grudge. Those that reported me I am not upset or out to get you. I welcome anyone who feels there is a problem with the board to hit the report button so we can address it, not just for you but for everyone.

I just needed to get this out there for people to see my reasoning. Please do not turn this into the same discussion as the previous thread, that is not why I posted this.

Dolomite
[/quote]

Explanations, while not officially necessary, really DO help us understand and I for one always appreciate them.
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[size=4][color=#222222]Now if only our Federal Administration was that transparent. :ugh: [/color]
[color=#222222](Oh on 2A issues to keep it gun related :x:)[/color][/size]

Edited by pfries
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I mean no disrespect to anyone and certainly not to Dolomite but to be blunt, I believe the discussion was very related to our Second Amendment rights and it's a discussion that is both appropriate to have and should be had although I will admit that maybe that poster and that link was not the the thread to best have the such a discussion.

Perhaps more to the point, what I found unsettling was that, as far as I can tell, there was nothing in the link or the thread that violated the rules here and considering some of the links and discussions that have been permitted, it seemed a bit arbitrary and inconsistent with other decisions made here.

Life goes on. Edited by RobertNashville
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[quote name='RobertNashville' timestamp='1353089029' post='846661']
I mean no disrespect to anyone and certainly not to Dolomite but to be blunt, I believe the discussion was very related to our Second Amendment rights and it's a discussion that is both appropriate to have and should be had although I will admit that maybe that poster and that link was not the the thread to best have the such a discussion.

Perhaps more to the point, what I found unsettling was that, as far as I can tell, there was nothing in the link or the thread that violated the rules here and considering some of the links and discussions that have been permitted, it seemed a bit arbitrary and inconsistent with other decisions made here.

Life goes on.
[/quote]

Start one up. I have a helluva story on the subject.
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[quote name='atlas3025' timestamp='1353104403' post='846840']Can someone tell me if I would agree with deleting the link?[/quote]

Would you feel sympathy for someone losing their gun rights for striking a woman or pleading guilty to a crime they didn't commit?

I don't. We all make choices. When you make a choice only you are accountable for it. Not your lawyer. Not your crazy ex. Not the judge. Just you.
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