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Security "agents" at Opry Mills theaters

dunndw

By dunndw
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dunndw Prolific Contributor

dunndw

Posted
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Went to see "Iron Man" tonight (go see it...good flick) at the Opry Mills Regal super duper movie multiplex tonight. When we left...i saw a...what I guess is some of their new security measures. Two guys...all in black. front of shirts said something along the lines of TAC SECURITY....the back is what got me. Emblazoned across the back of the black tactical polos were the word AGENT.

Yea...I felt real safe with the one 5 fot tall 400 pound super ninja agent with his badge around his neck like he just came from serving a high risk warrant on some terrorists. Glocks....ASP batons, OC,...I even think I saw flexi-cuffs in the mix.

My wife had to elbow me in the ribs to stop me from laughing out loud.

the first thing I thought of was...oh look...sheep wearing dog suits.

then I thought..I'M going to buy black on black on black BDUs and a raid vest. I'll have CITIZEN across the back and 2A Security across the black. then perhaps I can be as cool as these two fellas were.

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ShaunM Prolific Contributor

ShaunM

Posted
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not funny I was one of those guys..............................HA HA. Wait no I wasn't, i'm not that cool.

Guest jcoyle6

Guest jcoyle6

Posted
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I love the CITIZEN 2A shirt idea!

molonlabetn Prolific Contributor

molonlabetn

Posted
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I'm sure the laughter stemmed from the joy of an overwhelming sense of safety which you experienced in their presence...

Guest mikedwood

Guest mikedwood

Posted
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OMG! A real Mall Ninja spotting! That is so cool. You really should have taken pictures.

towerclimber37 Prolific Contributor

towerclimber37

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I know exactly how you feel!

I went into Jarrod's today..before walking in, I saw a sign at the foyer entrance (it didn't conform to TN. code) stating that NO firearms were allowed on the property, in the parking lot, etc.

inside there was an armed security guard.

HEH!

I didn't buy anything there.

so what's a movie cop gonna do? If someone were to start shooting in a theater, the best person to stop them is someone INSIDE the theater with them. the rest of the folks would probably be fleeing to get away, impeding not only the security from getting IN but also blocking any chance they had of taking a shot at the guy and stopping the threat.

another moronic decision by someone who has NO IDEA how to keep others safe.

you couldn't keep everyone safe in a theater..there's no possible way!!! too many bodies too close together. SOMEONE would be bound to take a bullet if a retard decided to make it an abattoir.

the best I could hope for in that situation would be to get my loved ones to safety and engage only if I had to.

Guest Boomhower

Guest Boomhower

Posted
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then I thought..I'M going to buy black on black on black BDUs and a raid vest. I'll have CITIZEN across the back and 2A Security across the black. then perhaps I can be as cool as these two fellas were.

laughing024.gif.....Do it.....laughing024.gif....I love it.

Guest sermon8r

Guest sermon8r

Posted
Posted

Yea...I felt real safe with the one 5 fot tall 400 pound super ninja agent with his badge around his neck like he just came from serving a high risk warrant on some terrorists. Glocks....ASP batons, OC,...I even think I saw flexi-cuffs in the mix.

My wife had to elbow me in the ribs to stop me from laughing out loud.

the first thing I thought of was...oh look...sheep wearing dog suits.

then I thought..I'M going to buy black on black on black BDUs and a raid vest. I'll have CITIZEN across the back and 2A Security across the black. then perhaps I can be as cool as these two fellas were.

I must know was it a CCW Badge????????:P

Guest Len

Guest Len

Posted
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I'll have CITIZEN across the back and 2A Security across the black. then perhaps I can be as cool as these two fellas were.

Sign me up for some of these!

Ah, a mall ninja in the flesh. I bet you felt honored to be in their presence!

The things malls will do to make us "feel" safe....

(rarely are these things that actually do make us safer, but hey, perception is everything and cheaper too!)

Guest canynracer

Guest canynracer

Posted
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yeah, I love the armed security...those dude are 400lbs, they would have a heart attack just from the SOUND of a gun...but then again, they do react rather quickly when the popcorn gets popping...they are the first in line...hmmm...

maybe butter scented cologne for the bad guy and they will come rolling in to save the day...

Guest kwikrnu

Guest kwikrnu

Posted
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yeah, I love the armed security...those dude are 400lbs, they would have a heart attack just from the SOUND of a gun...but then again, they do react rather quickly when the popcorn gets popping...they are the first in line...hmmm...

maybe butter scented cologne for the bad guy and they will come rolling in to save the day...

Reminds me of the no neck, donut loving, cop woman I saw at the courthouse last week. :koolaid:

Smith Postus Maximus

Smith

Posted
Posted
yeah, I love the armed security...those dude are 400lbs, they would have a heart attack just from the SOUND of a gun...but then again, they do react rather quickly when the popcorn gets popping...they are the first in line...hmmm...

maybe butter scented cologne for the bad guy and they will come rolling in to save the day...

Don't you know that that is one of the best tactical secrets out there. At 400 lbs there is no way they can be shot in the vitals due to lack of penetration! :koolaid:

Guest Angel 24/7

Guest Angel 24/7

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You guys are so mean, but funny!:koolaid:

Guest GLOCKGUY

Guest GLOCKGUY

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Did the cuffs look like this by any chance

22518.jpg

hey i have some of those :koolaid:

Magiccarpetrides Postus Maximus

Magiccarpetrides

Posted
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You sure they werent Bail Bondsman that just happend to be outside the mall? That sounds like a Bail Ninja...Mall Ninjas dont usually get anything more fierce then Pepper Spray or a roll of quarters to call the real police.

Guest db99wj

Guest db99wj

Posted
Posted

They are just following the dress code section (Section 3,457, Chapter 127, Page 4,365) of the Tactical Mall Ninja Handbook, jeez. :eek:

dunndw Prolific Contributor

dunndw

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You sure they werent Bail Bondsman that just happend to be outside the mall? That sounds like a Bail Ninja...Mall Ninjas dont usually get anything more fierce then Pepper Spray or a roll of quarters to call the real police.

no... at least I don't think so. Before the movie the more "professional" of the two was helping himself to the unopen snack bar drink machine. No...I think these were two true mall ninjas. The one guy reminded me of the bad guy demon on Spawn...the other one like the a hole brother in Weird Science

(note to shelf...get away from reruns on television) They were both in the theater...hanging out between the snack stand and the ticket window.

I don't think even bail ninjas would show their true identity on a Saturday night in a movie theater....ZEKE..you out there:D

Guest Hawk

Guest Hawk

Posted
Posted

Mall ninja sighting....man I am so jealous.

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