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Do I owe an apology?


Guest drv2fst

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Guest drv2fst
Posted

I went to my parents house to day and my dad had a loaded revolver (no safety) out in the open on a high shelf. This was a family gathering with kids from 11yo down to to 3yo. I asked my dad to secure the pistol. He went out and put it in his locked car.

Was I wrong to ask him to lock up his gun in his own home? He didn't complain but wasn't thrilled about it. This isn't a guns in the home question, it's a guns around kids question.

I have many guns in my house but they are all properly secured so that kids can't get access to them. I have many "quick access" safes stored all over the house so my wife or I can get to a gun quickly if needed. I take my kids shooting and teach them gun safety but still was uncomfortable with his unsecured pistol on a shelf.

Posted

MIghta been a little taboo had it been non family. It was your dad, if he gets mad about it just hit him with a "I was rasied better than that" and he'll get over it. In ANY event, better someone be mad at you than a kid do what kids do.....something stupid.

Posted

Sounds like a reasonable request. When I visit my brother and we go out on his boat I take my Glock in my Maxpedition man purse.I make sure there is not a round in the chamber. If for some reason the kids do find the gun they won't be able to shoot it unless they somehow gain the strength to chamber a round. I don't let the bag out of my sight though.

Posted

there isnt a nice way to say it, but kids that young should always be supervised by an adult. Which makes their ability to get at a gun that is way up high impossible to do. You cannot secure everything that can cause serious harm to a child -- car keys, chemistry, electrical outlets, matches, guns, ..... I can list stuff all night ..... the solution is constant supervision and constant awareness of where the children are and what they are doing.

  • Like 1
Posted

You reminded your dad to kid proof his house for the duration of the visit. You did him a responsible favor. Sounds like he didn't have a problem with it.

Posted

If I were in your shoes, I would just have a frank conversation with your father Explain that you are teaching his grandchildren responsible firearms handling, and for you that means loaded guns are secured at all times. My dad would be fine with that, but I can't speak for yours.

Posted

I don't think you were out of line with anything, kids get into everything. Anytime any kids are at my house despite their age, all the guns in the house go in the safe. If it's out it's only a matter of time that a kid will find it.

Posted
I don't think you were out of line with anything, kids get into everything. Anytime any kids are at my house despite their age, all the guns in the house go in the safe. If it's out it's only a matter of time that a kid will find it.

We are pretty much the same way. I love kids, but am probably a little paranoid around them. My wife and I have a "child-proofing" routine every time a friend brings a kid over, or if a niece or nephew comes to stay for a couple of days. Firearms are easy to secure, it is the household cleaners, electrical outlets, etc that I worry about. There isn't a lot that I couldn't handle emotionally, but a kid getting hurt in my house would be tough to deal with.

Guest drv2fst
Posted

Thanks, I appreciate the backup. It's not easy to confront anyone about how they do things in their own home. But if it's a home where your kids play, I guess you just have to sometimes.

I remember a kid from elementary school got killed when he found a gun at his friends house.

True, many other items are just as dangerous. There is no truly safe place. It's all about dealing with the risks that we can deal with and accepting the rest.

Posted

Anytime my grandson is going to be in my house, I lock all guns in a safe other than the one I carry.

Guest lostpass
Posted

When dealing with things like this it is important to weigh the possible outcomes with the possible benefit. SO if your Dad is cussing a lot around your offspring it is probably best to let it go. If you gripe about it he probably won't change and all you've accomplished is setting up a flash point for the future.

In this case the possible outcome was horrible. Kids can be taught safety and kids can be supervised. But you can't expect constant supervision and you can't expect kids to follow the safety rules.

In this case the worst thing that will happen is that your Dad will be a bit pissed and the best case is that no one got shot. I'd call that a good trade.

The trade off isn't always pleasant but when you weigh the possible outcomes the answer becomes obvious.

Posted (edited)

You did the right thing. He will get over that a lot easier than if something bad happened.

Edited by climberscott_1999
Posted

I think it's always ok to ask someone politely. They do have the right to refuse, but it seems in this case he did agree to some extent.

Posted

Growing up I spent quite a bit of time with my grandparents.

My grandfathers guns were leaned in the corners of the closet where my toybox lived and the bullets were on a dresser next to the closet.

We knew they werent toys and didn't play with them.

Posted (edited)

You did the right thing. I've got a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old and I definitely do not leave my guns accessible to them. My 3-year-old boy knows never to touch a gun and that guns are not for kids to play with. This past Christmas we were at a family members home who had an air rifle in their garage. Upon entering the home my son very loudly and sternly told a few people in my wife's extended family that there was a gun in the garage and that they weren't supposed to touch it. A cousin of hers tried to calm my son by telling him it's not a "real gun", to which I replied that if it shoots a projectile, it's a real gun. As Lostpass stated, the consequences are high. I've seen posts on here before with debates between training your kids about firearms or keeping guns locked up. I do both.

Edited by JReedEsq
Posted (edited)

There is nothing wrong with asking someone to secure his/her weapon if small children are around. That could mean locking it in your car, a safe, or simply carrying it on your person.

Edited by DaddyO
Posted

I keep loaded guns all over my house. No kids here. In the event kids are coming to the house, all guns are unloaded

or secure. KIds are curious, Some aren't taught not to handle guns. Mine was & there never was an issue.

Better to go the extra mile when kids are around. Applies to some adults as well.

Guest drv2fst
Posted
Growing up I spent quite a bit of time with my grandparents. My grandfathers guns were leaned in the corners of the closet where my toybox lived and the bullets were on a dresser next to the closet. We knew they werent toys and didn't play with them.

That's the way he was brought up too. My grandparents had guns on gun racks in the home and I never once even thought about touching one without their supervision.

Posted

My grandfather owned one firearm - a 12 ga shotgun. He didn't leave it out in plain view, but if he had, I woulda been too afraid to touch it. He woulda beaten the crapolo outta me... lol.

  • Like 1
Posted

With kids around, either wear it or lock it up.

That simple. Don't care how well a kid is trained to not play with a firearm; kids still do dumb stuff... we should know, we were all kids once. The stakes are too high for something so simple to prevent.

Posted (edited)

there isnt a nice way to say it, but kids that young should always be supervised by an adult. Which makes their ability to get at a gun that is way up high impossible to do. You cannot secure everything that can cause serious harm to a child -- car keys, chemistry, electrical outlets, matches, guns, ..... I can list stuff all night ..... the solution is constant supervision and constant awareness of where the children are and what they are doing.

I kinda agree with Jonnin, here. Then, again, I don't have kids. Growing up, however, I knew where my dad's guns were, where the ammo was and how to load them. I knew about the loaded .357 in his sock drawer. I also knew what those guns would do and never played with them.

To the OP, maybe a good way to handle the situation for the future would be to buy your dad a good holster or (since he might want to be a little more 'subtle' around the house, especially at family gatherings) even a concealed carry 'fanny pack'. You could tell him that you appreciate his being willing to lock up his firearm while the kids were around and that the holster/fanny pack is a 'thank you' gift that he can use at future gatherings. In fact, you could encourage him to use it all the time so he has his firearm at hand when he is at home rather than on a shelf where he might not be able to get to it in an emergency.

Edited by JAB
  • Like 1

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