Back In The Day

[Dennis1209]

Reading a thread on this forum today brought back a not so fond memory at the time and got me all nostalgic. I was accused of being a criminal and in jeopardy of being suspended from high school. If you read this, keep in mind the things kids are taking to school today; baggy pants, spray paint, drugs and guns. Not me, as I'll explain. My sophomore year of high school (1968) I had varsity baseball practice after school. I had forgot to grab my baseball uniform my mother washed and bagged that morning. At fifteen years old I did not drive and lived one mile from the high school, so I had to walk there and back uphill, both ways! I was running late and the one thing you did not do was show up late to baseball practice. I won't mention my baseball coach's name but, he was once an outfielder for the S.F. Giants and had a sadistic attitude toward my "hot dog" attitude. Anyway, to shave off some time there was a large wood lot I could cross to save time. As I was post haste along the path in the woods I seen something slithering about 10 yards in front of me. What ever it was went into a pile of decaying wood / weeds. Being curious I started removing the debris and lo and behold, four Gardener snakes about 18" in length each. Immediately I knew what I wanted to do with them. Out of the brown paper bag comes my baseball uniform and in goes the four non venomous snakes with hell to pay. You see, my girl friend (Norma) had just broken up with me and started to see our catcher, second string at that. Any who, so happened I knew Norma's North Hall locker combination It so happened to be her birthday that week. So, using one of her pens in her locker I wrote only "Happy Birthday Norma" on the outside of the brown paper bag and placed it on the bottom of her locker, closed the locker door and arrived at baseball practice ten minutes late. We won't discuss how many 1/4 mile laps my sadistic coach made me run after practice. Fast forward to late morning the next day... Each classroom had a PA system and it comes alive with the secretary asking my math teacher to please send Dennis to Assistant Principle Kirby's office immediately. With heart pumping, sweating hands and a sense of doom, I'll bet I know what this is about. This asst. Principal isn't one to mess around with, period. The conversation goes something like this: It has come to my attention that you know one Norma so and so, is that true. Yes sir! She states that she recently had broken up with you, is that true? Yes sir! She claims you know the combination to her locker, is that true? Well, being one that doesn't want to lie under this investigation, I tell him the truth, "no sir, I can barely remember my own combo Then the asst. Principal goes into a rant about how the evidence points to me, blah, blah, blah. Then gets into the meat of the subject. At 8:00 A.M. that morning, Norma opens her locker and immediately notices the "Happy Birthday Bag" and opens it. Screams in terror and drops the bag releasing the four slithering creatures to roam where they will. I was threatened with a seven day suspension but if I admitted it, he would propose a three day suspension. Being the high schools only (1.0 GPA, D) honor roll student, I had to come clean with him and my conscience. Principal Kirby, it wasn't me, I don't know who would do such a horrible thing. So Mr. Kirby, if you're reading this, I'll take my three days now.

Anyone have anything they want to get off their chests, now that I'll sleep better at night?

BTW. That made the school newspaper (my :15 minutes of fame) and they had reported snake sightings in North Hall for months. I was a BAD, BAD boy

[mikegideon]

I'm not gonna try to one-up you. I'll just say, you weren't that bad at all.

[gjohnsoniv]

In highschool our headmaster decided to call the police on a class of 48, on the senior prank night, which is a tradition at the school I attended. Needless to say eight Bedford County Sheriff's Deputies were called in for less than 48 people "just in case." Apparently the headmaster thought we were going to destroy his house which was on the property. Long story short two of us were almost arrested and ended up sending the rest of the officers on a goose chase for everyone else. It was not a fun night, but on the plus side all the ladies thought it was a bada$$ story.

[Dolomite_supafly]

I'm not gonna try to one-up you. I'll just say, you weren't that bad at all.

+1

I definitely did some stuff that was much worse in the scheme of things.

Dolomite

[gjohnsoniv]

It seems like kids can't get away with as much now with all these laws and over-protective people around. Heck the public schools have security cameras in them now, try talking your way out of putting a snake in a locker now.

[Patton]

Well, I have to ask. Where is Norma today?

[daddyo]

Boys will be boys...

[Timestepper]

Ok, I'll take a shot at this!

I'd like to apologize to my third grade teacher - I really didn't know that she didn't like snakes.

I'd like to apologize to the snake - I swear I really believed her when she said that she loved all creatures.

I'd like to apologize to the janitor - I didn't know she was going do that much damage to her desk... and the blackboard... and the trash can.

I'd like to apologize to the rest of the kids in the room - I didn't realize that what I initially thought were shrieks of joy would lead to pre-mature hearing loss as middle-aged adults.

While I'm at it, I should probably even go a step or two further and apologize to a former friend, whom I knew was terrified of snakes, for all those times that I tossed a piece of rope at him and hollered, “SNAKE!!!!â€

And also for the time, after he said, “Oh hardy, freakin’ har! Can’t you at least do something original for a change?!!†that I caught a grass snake and tossed it into his lap and hollered, “ROPE!!!â€

Maybe I should even apologize to his wife for the torn and soiled clothing which indirectly resulted from the aforementioned attempt at originality...

On the other hand, it is what it is and life is what you make of it... and if I were to be completely honest, the only truly sincere and contrite apologies would be to the snake(s).

[10-Ring]

I was terrified of snakes as a child but I'll share one that about got me in a load of trouble once. I was 12 and was "babysitting" my brother (9) and a neighbor kid (7.) Both sets of our parents had a church function to attend and left me in charge for a couple of hours. We mess around, play some ball, and get bored when one of us decides to play a prank on passerbys. We collected some dog excrement from the yard, about enough to fill a paper lunch sack, rolled up the top, taped a dollar bill to it and put it in the intersection in front of the house. We then went up stairs and watched through a window with the lights off. It was right at dusk, several people slowed down and took a look but no one got out or anything. One neighbor comes by, this guy is the one that would have been the head of the HOA if we had one, to give you an idea of his mentality, he slows down, then gets out and looks and goes home. A few minutes later he and his family walk down to the end of the street and are standing there, finally I realize "he's called the cops!" Sure enough a few minutes later a bunch of cops show up with a bunch of firefighters and the bomb squad. The bomb squad guys come out in full gear and retrieve the "package" and put it in somesort of enclosed trailer and everyone leaves. I'm thinking we are in the clear until the last deputy to leave runs into our ditch and gets stuck. Fortunately he and one of his buddies gets it out. I think I finally told my parents about that when I was about 25, they saw the humor in it then but I doubt they would have at the time.