Father in laws last days in Hospice Care

[UncleJak]

My father in law passed last Friday and had been in hospice care for about a month. I cannot imagine having to do that job. They were super good to him all the way till the end. He wanted to spend his last days at home and hospice made it possible. He passed peacefully with family by his side. Nice way to go...

There is still a lot of things to go through and I guess it will be weeks before everyone starts to feel normal again. No matter how prepared you think you are, you cannot be fully ready for the passing. Hospice people are very special and do an amazingly hard job!

[wipfel]

my condolences. at least he got to be in his home and not some hospital room.

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[Volzfan]

My prayers are with you and your family. Been there, done that with Mom and Dad in the last 6 months. Hospice workers that I encountered are very special. It never appeared to me that it was just a job for them.

[Jonnin]

Sorry for your loss.

I cannot imagine that job, getting to know/like/be around person after person then losing them one by one. That does indeed take a special person.

[subsonic]

Amen. My mother was in hospice care and passed last November. Truly compassionate and dedicated folks. It could take weeks, months or years to get back to feeling normal, it's different for everyone. It takes as long as it takes, just be there for each other. God bless.

[daddyo]

UncleJak, my sincere sympathies and condolences.

My wife lost her dad last October to inoperable melanoma. Once it was determined that there was nothing more they could do, they sent him home from the rehab facility he had been in since May. My brother-in-law and his wife live in the same town, and had added a mother-in-law suite to their home, so they both moved in with them for the duration. Hospice was called in after just a week, and after two weeks there he passed away in his sleep. What a blessing, as his suffering was kept to a minimum and he passed before he reached the point of being in agony. It was much easier on the family as well, even though it was very difficult to lose someone who was such a great husband, father, father-in-law, and grandfather.

We had a great weekend with him right after he left the rehab center. Lots of good food, drink, and family time. There were lots of laughs and lots of tears. I never did anything so hard in my life as when I said goodbye to him and I knew it was the last time I would ever see him on this earth. But we celebrated his life in grand style that weekend.

When he passed, my wife was there with him along with the other family members and she said that the hospice folks were wonderful and made him as comfortable as humanly possible.

[Just2Honor]

+1 subsonic. Grieving is a normal reaction and there is no set way or time limit. Each person is different and their relationship to the loveone is different. Grief is normal folowing any loss so nothing is wrong with your feelings. Be there for each other and remember the good times together.

[Guest 6.8 AR]

That's the way my father passed in 1985. I was at his bedside at the moment. It was what he wanted

and I was glad to get to see him at home. He had good hospice care, too. God bless and sorry for

your loss. Time takes care of a lot of things. I have very fond memories of my father.

[1gewehr]

I have a cousin who is a nurse in a final care facility in SC. She considers it to be a holy calling and a privilege to serve those who are dying. I can see her point of view, and it certainly takes a special kind of person to work there.

I'm sorry for your loss, but grateful that the hospice has such fine people.

[Trekbike]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. As you mentioned it will take time to help ease the pain.

I too can say nice things about the hospice nurses when my mom died in 2009. They are a true nursing treasure and can say so with some authority. My wife worked as hospice nurse several years ago but had to move onto something else due to the emotional toll it takes on a person.

She's a "tough cookie" emotionally because before that she worked in a neonatal intensive care unit for 12 years where the average nurse stays 2 years in that environment.

My wife found hospice nursing to be a very rewarding job, but found it was just too much to bear. She is a very special nurse in my eyes since she basically assumed the role of the hospice nurse and direct care giver for my mom at home in her last days and I will always be very grateful for that. I thought at the time she was doing this, how wonderful it was for her to have that hospice experience to be able to help my mom. I thought about the Bible verse Esther 4:14 which says, "And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?â€

Thanks again to all the hospice nurses out there.

[personDJ]

Sorry....................It was the same with my father. Hospice was great.

Edited March 22, 2012 by personDJ

[tercel89]

I sure hate it for you but thank the good Lord he went away with you and the family there. God bless him and you too.

[tercel89]

You said he was your father-in-law, so he is still alive in your wife . Prayers sent .

[Glenn]

UncleJak,

My sincere sympathy on your loss. My dad was at home with hospice care. They couldn't have been better. My mom was so impressed she volunteered with hospice for years. She spent her last couple of weeks at a hospice inpatient facility (her choice). They treated her like a queen. Hospice people are a special kind of folks.

Glenn

[mcurrier]

He's gone on into eternity, soon to be seen again.

[Jasongar8]

First of all I am truly sorry for your loss.

My Mother worked in end of life care the last 10 years of her nursing career. At that time she was a patient care manager on a hospice floor of a long term care facility. She really loved it. Most of her patients were older, many with no family other than the nurses, docs, and techs that worked there. She always found comfort that the workers could become the family that a lot of the patients didnt have. The young patients were the ones she hated to see come in.

As someone currently in nursing school, I can tell you it truly takes a special nurse to work a hospice floor. Having to see the families go through the pain of losing a loved one time and time again would break me I think. God bless them for it though.