Bonding with my step son through shooting

[ZenDog]

I have an almost 13 year old step son, Carl-- I have taken him shooting at RangeUSA a couple of times. His dad doesn't shoot or do much that is traditionally considered masculine, so I am teaching him the fine art of marksmanship. Because of schools, careers, etc, he is only at my house a couple of days a week- the rest of the time he lives with his dad and stepmom.

Like many women, Carl's mother's second husband (me) is a lot different than her first husband (Carl's dad). I shoot, love football, most sports, am a lifelong athlete, and will fight in a heartbeat to protect my wife and child, and country. Carl's dad is a really nice guy, who is really good at being really nice. He isn't too good at any traditional man stuff except controlling the remote.

Carl's mom, my wife, goes with us and she shoots too (and she's a fair shot/HCP holder), but she has left most of the instruction to me.

When I was 12, Carl would be the kind of kid I would have had nothing to do with, or, if he had crossed me, I probably would have punched him a time or two. He's incredibly bright- both of his parents are academics. He's also geeky, nerdy, uncoordinated, goody two shoes, nonathletic, a scaredy cat--- a bit of an odd duck. He is hard for me to like. I was a bad boy, always in trouble, fought a lot, and had no use for kids like Carl when I was 12 (or 20, or 40, or 50...)

I like him a lot better when we shoot together. He has mixed feelings about shooting- the intensity of the indoor range kinda freaks him out, and the attention to detail required for safety is not his forte, but in our two trips to the range he has already improved a lot and his aim is becoming more steady. He knows he is accomplishing something unusual for someone in his family.

And I really am glad I like him more. I think I just needed to see him do SOMETHING that was from the same planet as I am from.

Something special happened the first time we went. My dad was a competitive pistol shooter- I inherited his long barreled .38 S&W revolver. I think it is about 60 years old. It had not been fired since about 1957, when my dad gave up shooting for medical reasons. My dad has been dead for 33 years.

I cleaned it up, checked it out, and bought some practice ammo. I fired the first two cylinders, and then Carl fired his first shot ever as a young man from that weapon. He did pretty well with it- naturally, it has low recoil, and my dad had it set up with a really light trigger, so it is easy to shoot accurately.

So I connected with my Dad when I fired that .38 -- I have pictures of him as a man much younger than I am, in Army khakis, firing that weapon in competitions in Japan during the Korean War. One handed, left handed. I fired the first round one handed, left handed through that .38, even though I am a righty. (Two hands works better for me!)

And I connected with my step son through that .38. He likes me more, I like him more. I notice I am more tolerant of the things in him that are not like me. My father's hands, my hands, Carl's hands- 3 generations of men firing that .38.

I think we'll shoot some more, soon.

[TripleDigitRide]

WoW! That's a really great story. I would have said "sweet" story, but I'd rather not get "punched out".

Keep us up-to-date as to how things continue to grow between the two of you.

[strickj]

Thats a great story!My family is not really big into guns.Im the only one with a HCP,and just about the only one that owns guns.I have never really been that close to my family,my dad left when I was young,and my extended family is well extended,so that has pretty much left mom.So I know how it can be sometimes when your young and there not allot of family there to do things with.

I can tell you that he could despise guns,but because your there with him,he loves them.Keep the connection going,he'll remember it the rest of his life

Ps,shouldnt this be in Dangerous flowers sub j/k

[Guest Boomhower]

Like many women, Carl's mother's second husband (me) is a lot different than her first husband (Carl's dad). I shoot, love football, most sports, am a lifelong athlete, and will fight in a heartbeat to protect my wife and child, and country. Carl's dad is a really nice guy, who is really good at being really nice. He isn't too good at any traditional man stuff except controlling the remote.

I'm taking that as a PC way of saying that his dad is lazy....and that's as far as we will go with that conversation as I am a divorcée myself .

When I was 12, Carl would be the kind of kid I would have had nothing to do with, or, if he had crossed me, I probably would have punched him a time or two. He's incredibly bright- both of his parents are academics. He's also geeky, nerdy, uncoordinated, goody two shoes, nonathletic, a scaredy cat--- a bit of an odd duck. He is hard for me to like. I was a bad boy, always in trouble, fought a lot, and had no use for kids like Carl when I was 12 (or 20, or 40, or 50...)

........LOL.....tell us how you really feel.

And that's a great family story.

[Guest Medic908]

Great story - thanks for sharing.

[Mike.357]

sounds like you two will end up alright. Step sons are hard to deal with at times but right is right and he will figure it all out as he gets older.

Don't forget to do some things he digs too.

[Guest mikedwood]

Nice Mike, you are doing the right thing in forming a bond. Stepkids are an oddity and can be hard to deal with cause you aren't his parent and never will be, I hear many step parents demand respect cause they sleep with the kids parents. Trust me when I say that doesn't get you respect.

Teaching them and showing them you care is what gets you respect from the younger ones and that means more than anything that can be yelled or beat into them.

13 ha! Good luck wait for 16 and 17. I will pray for you.

[R1100R]

Today was my stepson's birthday party. He is nine. He has never met his real father.

He is really different to me also in his upbringing. I also have a daughter 3 1/2. We

have also bonded through shooting. I got him a set of eye and ear protection from

CMP and a Rossi Youth 22/410 set up. So it time to start taking him to the range.

[Guest mcclearypl]

Great story. Please keep up the good work. Carl will be the better for it in the long run and I think you might just become a little better yourself.

Good Job!