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Posted (edited)

Major applause for this father for setting his daughter straight, but exactly where can you purchase "exploding" hollowpoint rounds? I want get me sum. :D

Not sure I would post this on YouTube, however. We all know that the loons over at CPS are just looking for reasons to pay us parents a visit.

Edited by DaddyO
Guest nicemac
Posted (edited)

Shoot up her laptop in a public forum?

Very mature way to handle a rebellious teen.

I completely understand why the girl is rebelling. She will be gone from that home soon and dad will regret what happens to his little girl. Lots of mistakes being made in that home right now…

Edited by nicemac
Guest bkelm18
Posted

People need to stop being their child's friend and start being parents. She wanted to go online and act like a child, he replied. I applaud him.

Guest A10thunderbolt
Posted

I believe Embarrassing your child will do nothing but drive them away, he could have just taken it away and accomplished more. You should always give them an honorable way out. IMO.

Guest nicemac
Posted

People need to stop being their child's friend and start being parents. She wanted to go online and act like a child, he replied. I applaud him.

I agree that he needs to be her parent. Parent implies mature. He acted just like a teen himself by airing the family's dirty laundry on YouTube.

Posted (edited)

After watching this again, I have to agree with Nicemac. The first time it was funny, but the father doesn't seem to be much more mature than his daughter. Maybe that's why she has a behavioral problem.

Edited by DaddyO
Posted

Train wreck. If this is idea of fair parenting then he can look forward to his kids rejecting him when they become adults. There was no love in this. This was simply an adult version of a temper tantrum. He need look no further than himself to answer the question as to why his daughter has come to be such a disrespectful and spoiled kid. Children are a product of their environment, and if this is the environment she grew up in than that explains a lot. Plenty of kids with structure and discipline in their lives grow up to be out of control because their parents didn't include guidance and love into the equation. Those folks grow up to resent their parents. I can't imagine what that feels like, but I work with some fathers whose adult children are that way... there is a common denominator. Too bad it'll be too late in life for him to realize that he ain't gonna get a do-over.

Guest NYCrulesU
Posted

I applaud the father. Girl wants to act like a spoiled brat, take crap away...one way or another.

While some of you are commenting about the immaturity of the father and how this was a parental fail, let me give you a personal experience real quick. And let me tell you...it worked, and I love my stepfather to this day.

I collected baseball cards when I was geowing up. And no exaggeration..I had 10's of thousands. Boxes in the attic, the basement...filled my room etc. It had gotten to the point one year when I was 14 that I had stacks of baseball cards on top of the refridgerator, a few 700 count boxes in the corner of the living room....everywhere you turned you saw baseball cards.

My fathers rules in the house were simple. He made them, you followed them. Period. Raising a teenage son he pulled me aside one day and told me..."At 14 I know you're going to get in with the wrong crowds and do stupid ____. Whatever you do or however bad you think you are on the street, you check your attitude at the door when you come in this house and respect your mother.". And "I don't care what your room looks like with the door shut. It's your room, you want to live like a slob. I don't care. But you WILL get all of your stuff from around the house and get it in your room. No more cards all over the place. Clean them up!".....he added "If I have to remind you again or do it myself you won't be happy."

Weeks go by....between school, baseball practice, partys, girls...I necer did clean those cards up. And we are talking Johnny Bench rc's, Seaver rc's, Reggie Jackson rc's...not cheap stuff.

I come home from school one day, run in to grab my glove and cleats...and I stop, I nitice no more cards on the counter, feidge etc. House looked really cleaned up. I look in my room...no extra piles or boxes of cards. As I pass the living the head out the front door...he stops me. "Got a sec?" he asks. "Remember I told you to clean up your card? Take these and follow me". He hands me a box of wooden matches. My heart sunk...I knew my father didn't play games and I immediately was regretting not listening to him.

Out to the backyard we go. There, in the middle of the yard, is a huge metal drum. My mind is spinning. I'm thinking 'oh my God, my cards! Where the hell did he get this drum from?' As I walk up to it I can smell the gasoline.

He says, nice and calm. "I figured you had forgotten, so I cleaned your cards up for you. Now light 'em up".

Knowing he wasn't playing...and they were already ruined by the gasoline...I struck and tossed in a match. They burned.

Not much was ever said about it again. Next day drum was gone like magic. House went back to business as usual.

To this day, and I am nearly 40, I am organized and keep my belongings and "stuff" where it belongs. And every time I think about why I am so organized...I immediately recall that day and smile. Yes, I smile.

While it was a hard lesson to learn and as a teen I might have hated that man for years...now, as a father myself, I think of all he did to teach me a lesson. He drove to some unknown location to acquire that drum, came home and loaded it up with my cards, and patiently waited all day for to come home. It was calculated and precise. He never raised his voice, he never lost his cool.

And he made ME light the match.

All in all it was time out of his life, the man worked two jobs, to teach me a valuable lesson. To this day I love and respect him.

So I can personally relate to this father. He took drastic measures and I agree with him. Only time will tell if he was right or wrong.

Guest Sgt. Joe
Posted

I posted in the other thread with this vid but it is good to see that I am not the only one who feels that the father went a bit stupid himself. I watched it with my 16 year old and he was shocked that someone would say those kinds of things about their parents.

I agree with Bklem18 about being the parent rather than a friend but at the same time a person can be both. My son is my son and my friend, it isnt easy at times but it can be done so long as a person knows when to be the parent and when they can be a friend to their kids.

Before I will jump his butt about anything I try and remember how I felt when I was his age. That does not mean that his butt does not get jumped on when it is needed. I have explained this very issue to him about how hard the job of a parent is. I have explained to him that I want to be his friend but that I have to be his Dad. So far it is working for me but I know that things can change quickly with teenagers so I am always on my toes.

The biggest mistake that I see people make is leaning too far toward being the friend or as we see in this case a parent acting more like a kid himself. I believe that he said his daughter was 15. IMO it is going to be next to impossible to keep her away from computers and cell phones until she is 18 and if he is able to do it I would expect that his daughter will hit the door as soon as she is legally able (if not sooner) and never look back.

I do want some of those exploding BooLits though :lol: and I dont know about everyone else but I usually know how many rounds I have left. :rolleyes:

Guest nicemac
Posted

So I can personally relate to this father. He took drastic measures and I agree with him. Only time will tell if he was right or wrong.

Your dad did it in private. This guy is humiliating his daughter in a very public fashion. I would be surprised if she ever sets foot in his house again. These are the kinds of circumstances that create teen runaways.

Guest Sgt. Joe
Posted

Good post NYC, I agree that only time will tell about this dad and his girl.

I hope she ends up seeing it all just like you did. But someone else may not have taken your dad's act as well as you did. My dad also most always worked two jobs and was never around, when he was he didnt have any time for me. I think that is why I try so hard to stay involved with my kid's lives. I love my dad (RIP) but I dont want to raise my kids the way that he raised my sisters and I.

I didnt have a lot of baseball cards but did have a Don Drysdale, Pete Rose and a Sandy Kofax (sp?) rookie card in the mix. My younger sister stole them and traded them for some weed when I left to join the Army. I have forgiven her in my heart because she had no idea of what those cards were and would be worth but it still ticks me off that she did that.

It is a tough world these days and raising a child is probably the hardest job out there, if not the hardest it is certainly the most important. We are talking about the future of our country and even the world when we are talking about our kids. Everyone is different and will do things and react to things differently, hopefully we all as a collective will get more right than we get wrong.

Posted

Your dad did it in private. This guy is humiliating his daughter in a very public fashion. I would be surprised if she ever sets foot in his house again. These are the kinds of circumstances that create teen runaways.

Exactly. THIS is the difference.

Posted

Punishment should be done out of love, not out of anger. This was clearly anger fueled retribution. It's one thing to take away something, or ground your children or what have you. It's another to publically humiliate your child (someone that should/wants to trust you over all else), especially when that child is a 15 year old girl. As adults maybe we trivialize the social environment of teenagers, but at that age it's everything; especially for the girls. The father has done something that can't be undone. She will probably harbor this against him for the rest of her life in some manner. Is that really worth it? It's the father's fault that she is this way in the first place. He should be angry at himself, not at her.

Guest NYCrulesU
Posted

After reading the comments after my last post...I can say this..

I still agree with the father actions, in general. I may have destroyed her computer, I just probably wouldn't have shot it.

Also, I do agree. My fathers lesson was harsh...but between him and I. He didn't make it a public event. So, while I agree with this father taking a hard line stance...I disagree with his posting it on the internet in an attempt to "one up" her Facebook post.

Guest Lester Weevils
Posted (edited)

A Jerry Springer moment on the internet.

There are good and bad aspects as with most things. Dirty laundry in public might have serious long-term blowback in the relationship or on the other hand it might be something they laugh about over thanksgiving turkey 10 years from now.

Can be difficult to tell good parenting from bad. So much depends on the kid. Children are not automatons. Children are notoriously difficult to program and debug. The best parent in the world can crank out a bad kid and vice-versa. Both parents and kids are "making it up as they go along."

In theory a "good parent" improves the odds of having a "good kid". Can't see reason to doubt that on a statistical level anyway. If the kid eventually turns out great then it will be called good parenting. If the kid turns out a trainwreck then it will be called bad parenting. 20/20 hindsight. Perhaps it is possible to "work backwards from the results" to identify good parenting practices? Maybe such work has been done, though it would be expensive research if done in adequate detail on a large sample size. Many "parenting experts" just make it up as they go along as well. Many "parenting experts" are not even parents.

I'm no expert but have a hunch that it is beneficial to pay kids to do chores, and pay kids to make good grades, etc. Pay them as much as one can realistically afford when the kids do the right thing. Only supply the bare minimum except what they earn. The kid's standard of living is then entirely up to the kid himself/herself. Many people think kids should "naturally" do chores and get good grades just to justify the roof over their heads. They should do it without explicit payment just because it is the right thing to do.

I don't disagree. However, out in the real world people work hard for money (unless they decide to become artists :) ). IMO it is beneficial that kids learn to associate work and money early-on. No work = no money. Hard work = great reward. You can attract more maggots with rotted meat than with honey. Or however the old adage goes. Positive reinforcement is generally more effective than negative reinforcement.

A technicality to consider-- In operant psychology if you mold a behavior by rewarding it 100 percent of the time, and then you remove the reward, the behavior tends to be extinguished very rapitly. If the rat always gets a food pellet every time he taps the lever-- Turn off the food pellets and the rat ain't gonna keep tapping the lever for very long.

Intermittent reinforcement can take longer to mold a behavior, but once molded the behavior is much more difficult to extinguish. It the rat only gets a food pellet on average after 10 lever-presses, and the pellet delivery is quasi random so that sometimes maybe two consecutive lever presses deliver 2 pellets, and sometimes maybe 20 lever presses deliver 1 pellet-- Intermittently reinforced behavior is very difficult to extinguish, because if you turn off the food pellets the rat will keep whacking the lever thinking he is just in a dry spell, expecting surely a pellet will drop on the next lever press.

So maybe one could get even better, more persistant chore and grade behavior if we usually ignore the chores or good grades entirely, but occasionally the kid gets a crisp new Benjamin for his trouble (or whatever). That might increase the odds that the kid will double-down the effort trying to improve the odds of getting more Benjamins.

Many things can be rewards, positive reinforcement as good or better than money. It depends. Attention is commonly a strong reward for kids or adults, but not always. Some folks don't care one way or t'other or would even prefer not to get much attention.

However, generally kids crave attention. From an operant psychology point of view, if the parents are so busy with their own affairs that they don't pay the kid sufficient attention-- Kids know that bad behavior will get attention, so if they are ignored for being good, they often will be bad just for the attention. Getting attention of the parent mad at them is more reward than being ignored for being good.

That may be a mistake the feller in the video is making. If he is still a workaholic and doesn't pay the girl much attention if she is doing what she's sposed to do, then that may be the only way to get daddy's attention. Dunno nuthin about parenting, but this effect really is common in the real world, even if it may not be a factor in this little Jerry Springer moment. It isn't impossible that the guy's hissy-fit is much-needed attention and a reward to his little girl for being bad.

Edited by Lester Weevils
Posted

No idea if the guy was right or wrong and neither does anyone else except the family. Some kids are too hard headed. My mother allowed my brother be who he wanted to be instead who he needs to be. Now he is a slob bum and hates life. He has no respect for himself or others.

Everyone is different, some people need to be kicked in the rear and others simply need time. I know had I read that message I would have been mad and she would have been punished by the key is according to his comments, she has done this before.

So, he has blown up but now is the time to show that you did this because you care and this was a lesson. In fact, what he does after he turned the camera off is more important than the message he put up for all to see.

Posted

The father said that he is an IT guy. I think he should have just put a virus in her computer, and everytime she goes to a website that he has prohibited her from going to, it shuts down and sends him an email or something. I may have taken the computer away from her, but if I had paid for it, I wouldn't shoot it just to make a point.

Posted

While shooting the computer was probably fun, it would have been more productive to simply wipe the hard drive and donate it to a charity of some sort. Publicly humiliating her isn't the best choice... especially for a girl.

Posted

Shooting it was irresponsible as a parent and a gun owner. However, it served a point. Posting it on a pubic place was the most irresponsible part.

Going to the extreme to prove a point to a rebellious child is one thing. Hell, even shooting the laptop is well within his rights. But now, the daughter could use that against him to portray him as a violent gun owner. And trust me, there are plenty of folks getting all excited at this thought. He even posted the evidence for the world to see.

As one poster above mentioned, comparing this to burning his baseball cards. This isn't even in the same category. If he had taken his daughter out in the backyard and made her shoot the laptop in a private, family setting, maybe. But trying to publicly humiliate her? Nope.

  • Like 1
Guest nicemac
Posted

This is starting to hit the MSM. If the girl was not totally humiliated before, she will be now…

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