So...I mowed the grass

[Marswolf]

OK, spring has sprung. I love warm weather (as opposed to cold or cooler weather) so I'm glad it's here. But with the warmer weather comes growing grass. I am not fond of repetitive yard work.

So I have a "lawn" of about an acre. And the riding mower is under the weather. And stuff is dry enough to mow with possible showers tonight. Why do I have an acre of grass to hand mow out in the country? Beats me. Ask my soon to be ex-wife. Tall grass attracts snakes. OK, I never knew that, and besides snakes are her phobia, not mine, and I'd rather it grow up as timberland like the rest of the property.

So I got up this morning, checked email and a couple of gun boards, got the wild birds and domesticated dogs their food and got naked. That is I took a shower. Just as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my answering machine beep and kick into record mode. So I went dripping wet into the kitchen, still hanging out in all the usual places, and found it was a friend who had bought a piece of computer equipment from me yesterday. He wanted something else, computer-wise, and was heading to breakfast. I intercepted the message, told him I was naked, and he wanted to get together for breakfast anyway. So I finished cleaning up - and dressing - and met him at the local hole-in-the-wall diner that I'd been meaning to go by for the last year or so anyway.

It turned out to be a great place (as I expected). Two biscuits and gravy with two strips of very good bacon are $1.99. Besides, he bought breakfast for me. I find if you leave the tickets on the table long enough, the other guy will normally pick both tickets up and pay for both. So, we exchanged a little Wi-Fi signal strength thingy I had but never use for money plus breakfast.

Another gun buddy and his SO came in, ate breakfast and he asked how to keep a woman happy. This was in front of his (pregnant - I hope) SO. If she is not pregnant, she has "East-Tennessee Wives Syndrome." (Get engaged - get fat) My friend started on his comedy routine about not talking to her to make a wife happy, etc. I pointed out that my friend was divorced and I'm headed that way - so ignore anything serious that might be said. She left and went to the car.

Eventually, so did the rest of us (our cars, not hers). We all (except the SO) talked for a few minutes in the parking lot. I have no idea why guys do that instead of inside where there is climate control but we do. My buddy said something about having to take one. I wondered why he had come outside of the restaurant before announcing his need, until I realized that this used to be a gas station and the rest rooms are outside. Well, they are actually only accessible from the outside but in the basement.

Then I started toward the mall for coffee with my normal military buddies. Half way to the Interstate, I decided that grass mowing seemed more prudent since my coffee drinking buddies would only be there for a few minutes before heading for free coffee at the local Guns R Us store. So I turned off and headed back for home an an obscure back route. It isn't really an obscure road. It's really the main drag on the back side of the county jail, Public Defender, Health Department, and Animal Shelter, but it makes a better story this way.

So I get home. The grass is still a bit wet from dew, and I remember that the gas tank on my expensive snotty Toro Personal Pace push mower has a gasoline tank leak that I never got fixed after last season. Oh ****. So I disassemble half of the mower. Having failed at all attempts to glue the tank leak last year and figuring that the closest repair parts place is both 15 miles away and they will have to order the part anyway, I decide to heat up the old soldering iron and fuse the two talk halves seam where I know (somewhere) the leak is. At this point I didn't care if the tank exploded in my face, or I got gasoline poisoning from whatever is in the stuff when you pressurize the tank, under water, to see where the problem is. The problem was a four inch break, along the seem of the tank halves.

So, I fused the talk halves - more or less. Hey I can afford to lose a little gasoline, just not half a tank every time I fill it. Nothing exploded, I didn't get poisoned. It only took three times as long as I expected (normal for me) to fix it.

So I get out and mow the ****ing grass. Got my cool military A-shirt on and my gym shorts that show all my bulges. Unfortunately the mail lady didn't deliver my Priority Mail boxes today. But the garbage guys did pick up my garbage. The weren't impressed (I hope).

So I get hot and sweaty (almost always a good thing) while mowing my lawn. I like getting hot and sweaty, although I think of more fun ways to do it besides lawn mowing. A few hours later, it's done.

So I come in to check out the weather online anc check the email and gun boards. Grab a beer. On the way for another beer, I look out the front storm door and realize I can already see where the grass has grown.

NO!!!!!

I'm letting half the "lawn" grow up and inviting the snakes to come sleep with me. They will keep down the mouse population I will keep them warm. It will be very symbiotic. The dogs will get used to them.

I'm going back to the mall for coffee tomorrow.

[Fallguy]

Good plan...

[Guest c.a.s.]

Sounds like when I mowed (and will begin to mow once school ends) my grandparent's yard. We could almost watch it grow. They just don't have a snake problem. More of a "if you do this, you get $30" kind of thing.

[strickj]

There for a minute I was thinking,where is this story going,it has nothing to do with grass,lol

But all in all sounds like more than I did today.I have been waiting on these nut jobs to finish some foundation work all day,Thats it!!

[xd shooter]

Sounds like a fun day!!! I have almost 5 acres myself to mow. It really sux!!

[robin48]

I'm paying someone to do it this year.

[towerclimber37]

Man!! I worked half a day and then took the wife to the sponge docks in tarpon springs! she got to see the old boat I used to work out of and pet stingrays. She also got to see her first giant grouper.

hang in there Shannon!

[Marswolf]

Sounds like a fun day!!! I have almost 5 acres myself to mow. It really sux!!

You are an idiot. Get a divorce or whatever it takes.

[Im Neero]

I used to cut 20 acres. It was on a tractor though, I kinda liked having an excuse to drive the tractor around.

[Mark@Sea]

I feel for ya. I'm only working half days - 5am to almost 5pm. Shipyards are a very special fun that is reserved for, apparently, really hard-core sinners.

I see your point with the snakes, though... good plan. Now how to explain it to the snakes.... well, never worry about the little details.

[xd shooter]

I used to cut 20 acres. It was on a tractor though, I kinda liked having an excuse to drive the tractor around.

How close are you to Lewisburg??

[Im Neero]

About 200 miles.

[molonlabetn]

At least you didn't run out of beer. I'd still call it a good day.

[PackinMama]

Mars, I think you might need to switch to decaf ;)

[Guest Jason F.]

I awoke two hours early today at the annoying hour of 11am just so I could mow my yard before I go to work. I put on the grubby clothes and head to the garage. Amazingly my tired clapped out mower started and ran... for about 3 minutes. Just enough time to get one pass down and back on the front yard. Go to the garage and grab the gas can, crap it is empty. Go back in side, get the keys and the wallet, drive to the gas station just so I can spend $30 filling my freakin push mower. Fill up said mower and get back to cutting the yard.

Fast forward 45 minutes as I finish up the front yard only to realize the handle is about to snap off the mower right at the point it snapped off last year where I welded it back together. Manage to limp it through the side yard without it breaking on me and move to the back yard. Got one strip down and back on the back yard and sure enough, snap, off breaks the handle.

Screw this I am going to work. Anyone have a small riding mower for sale?

[Fallguy]

Maybe we need to start a beer drinking, watching the grass grow and wrangling the snakes club?

[PackinMama]

It takes me five solid hours of riding the old cub cadet to get all my mowing done! Then it takes another 2-3 hours to weedeat (and I round-up the fencelines). I usually don't do it all at once.....I'll take two or three days to finish. It always seems like as soon as I'm done with everything, it's time to start again....it's a never ending cycle I wish someone would invent a spray that would keep the grass alive but stop it from growing!

[Marswolf]

I wish someone would invent a spray that would keep the grass alive but stop it from growing!

Actually, I read last year that someone has. Unfortunately the cost of the stuff is about a dollar a square foot.

[strickj]

I wish someone would invent a spray that would keep the grass alive but stop it from growing!

Just use what Mars uses on his hair

[shaftbass]

I thought this was going to be a manscaping thread.

[Marswolf]

Just use what Mars uses on his hair

Thank you, I use nada on my hair. I plan to keep all of it I can.

The hair is still there, unlike the current fad of shaving it if you have it, but I do have to watch for a bit of sunburn the few times out in the spring on the very back.

[Mike.357]

I very much enjoy cutting my grass. I enjoy taking care of the mowers and weed eater. I enjoy the smell of gasoline as it overflows whenever I fill a fuel cell. I very much like hooking the Huskee (17.5 hp of rolling thunder) up to the battery charger to get it started. I know I could go get a new battery but where is the fun in that?

I am looking forward to pulling both blades off of it to sharpen them, gives me a good excuse to use a breaker bar and a torque wrench. I am hopeful thwe push mower will last one more year. I am not sure what suspends the motor anymore as the mower deck is one big hunk of rusted holes. Sooner or later the motor is gonna fall right in on itself. I am curious as to what kind of damage will happen.

So cutting my grass is alright with me. I wish it would grow faster.

Edited April 15, 2008 by Mike.357

[Marswolf]

Can you say, "One Sick Puppy?"

I knew you could....

[Guest canynracer]

so I read your incredibly long post, and I see you procrastinated enough to only mow half? LOL LOL LOL....I did enjoy reading about your day though...except the naked part "hanging" around the kitchen...

[towerclimber37]

Just use what Mars uses on his hair

LOLOLOLOL!!!!