Convincing wife to get HCP

[UncleJak]

Has anyone had to persuade their wife to get her HCP? My wife knows the importance of firearms, but does not feel she needs to carry all the time. She also feels she is not a good enough shot to pass the range test. I assured her a monkey could pass the test but she is not convinced. Anyone have some words of wisdom??

[daddyo]

Sometimes someone else talking to her can make the difference. Do you know any instructors or anyone she knows and respects who might have more luck talking to her?

[bigwakes]

Take her to the range and go though the test using the large silhouette. Maybe if she sees how easy it is she will do it.

[Guest PapaB]

Baby steps. Take her shooting and use the larger targets. Mark her targets with her name, the date and the distance shot. As she gets better, move the target further away. Encourage her to shoot with other women, it can build her confidence and provide a different perspective. After a while, show her the progress she's made using her old targets. Once her confidence is where it needs to be she'll be more receptive, until then, she really isn't ready.

Don't lose sight of the fact that mental preparedness is every bit as important as shooting ability when it comes to carrying.

[analog_kidd]

My wife had no intrest in guns - until I took her shooting. She had no intrest in getting her HCP - until shooting became her hobby. She now owns several guns, has her permit and carries daily.

Start slow. Get her comfortable with handling a gun. Make it fun for her. Get a long barreled .22 pistol and she'll be a good shot. Don't start off with a 2.5" long .380 ultraconcealable that requires you to be 5 feet away to hit a target. If she can't shoot reasonably well right away, she'll lose all intrest and never want to do it again.

[gl19gobang]

most classes will let you use a .22. Thats what we did. We both have larger caliber guns but the use of the gun was free so why not? My wife has not done a whole lot of shooting but did great on the range part of the class.

[Jonnin]

A bit of a naysayer but if someone is not wanting their permit, they will also not train or practice, nor carry their gun often, and may not (for various reasons) be as responsible with it (from lack of practice, not keeping up with laws, panic-shooting, etc). However, if you must convince her actively, remind her that as it is now she can never carry legally -- if she has the permit, she can choose not to carry if she wants. Show her the test, let her try it with just you and her, and she will see that it is very easy. In the end, I would let her decide to do this for herself, rather than try to push the issue, and take her with you to shoot if you can get her interested. Maybe fun shooting with no pressure will get her into the sport and confident in her ability to pass the test, all while having fun. Making shooting fun and teaching her the skills will convince her more than any words ever will.

[Guest BungieCord]

Take the spare tire out of her car. Make sure she sees you doing it.

When she asks you what the hell you think you're doing, tell her that if she has the powers to forsee if and when she'll need to have a handgun with her, she should have no problem forecasting when she'll need the spare tire. In the meanwhile, you're removing the added weight from her car to improve fuel economy. Tell her to be sure and let you know before she's going to have a flat and you'll put it back.

Then when she gets up in your grill, point out that if she needs a spare tire and doesn't have one, the worst it gets her is a long walk home. But if she needs a gun and doesn't have one, it could get someone she loves a free trip to the morgue.

[JC57]

Allow your home to be broken into twice in about a year, and let her come home first and discover the break-ins herself, alone. That seems to have put some gun-toting religion into my wife, who has had her permit since they first came out, but didn't carry that much.

Now she does.

I can't help you with the shooting part. My wife is a dead-eye shot, astoundingly accurate. Maybe take her to the range a few times to let her get used to shooting before you worry about the HCP.

And seriously, it's not a safe world. It's nice to live with that delusion, but hopefully it won't take her becoming a victim of a crime to get her to wake up to the real possibility of something happening.

Edited November 23, 2011 by JC57

[Guest HvyMtl]

hmm. As for the fear of not being "good enough" to pass the shooting part of the class, please advise her she does not have to worry about that. In my class, roughly 1/3 had not shot, and at least another 1/3 had not target practiced, ever. Out of the total 60 people in the class, not one failed. Several had just purchased their firearm. I saw several brand new pistols being used. As in, firing their first shot.

In addition, you can use a 22 to pass the class. (What was fun to me was many were using 22s and 380, with a few 9mm and 38sp. I used my 45. The sounds were "pew, pew, pew, BOOM, pew, pew, pew,BOOM." I startled the people in the lanes next to me, the first time I shot. That was so satisfying. The instructor loved the fact I was using a bigger caliber and the gun I was intending to carry. Oh, and I got 100%. It was not hard at all...)

I agree with getting her to go with you and shoot. Putting holes in paper is quite enjoyable. Focus on the fun aspect a while, before getting to the serious side of carrying.

Oh, and arguably, women are supposed to be better shots then men.

Edited November 23, 2011 by HvyMtl

[bigwakes]

I put together a group of friends to get their permit and made sure my wife's schedule was clear that day. Since I got 9 people to go together the instructor let me come and shoot on the line too. I think it made my wife a little more comfortable having some familiar faces.

[DRM]

2 years ago we made a "family" day of the class - me, wife, mom, dad, my cousin, and her husband all took the course together.

My wife rarely carries, but she agreed it was a smart move for her to get here in case she wants to, or in case I needed to had over my gun to her for one reason or another.

[East_TN_Patriot]

I've tried and decided that it's best not to push it too hard. My wife lives in blissful ignorance of the potential threats out there personal protection is very low on her list of priorities. She works in downtown Knoxville and has to walk a little way to her car. Sometimes she works late. She is the type that will walk along while texting on her cell phone with no concern for her surroundings. I have tried and tried to convince her to practice situational awareness and to get her CCW. One day I decided to get her one of those Kimber OC guns so she could at least have that with her. I showed her how it works and put it in her purse. About a week later, I saw it laying on her dresser with some other stuff she cleaned out of her purse. I asked her why she wasn't carrying it and her reply was that she "just doesn't need it." That is just her mindset, and no amount of harping has changed it.

There's no sense pushing her into it if she doesn't want it because she will not carry a firearm, practice the skills, or runs the risk of having the firearm used against her in a critical situation. She needs to be interested on her own and make the decision to take on the responsibility that a CCW brings with it.

Edited November 23, 2011 by East_TN_Patriot

[Guest 6.8 AR]

My wife keeps saying she is going to get hers. I think she is going to when another nurse or two from work

decide to. She fell in love with the Sig 226 and shoots it very well. I won't push her.

[Guest Sgt. Joe]

I have found for myself and in reading the experiences of others that pushing anyone to do anything isnt the best approach and will not end up having the desired effects.

When I first got my permit my wife was really hyped up about wanting to get hers, but then like some others was worried about passing the test. I told her that I would take her shooting with me anytime and show her just how easy the test was. She had at one time in college been a member of the rifle team and said that she was always a decent shot so I did not understand why she felt as if she would not pass the test.

It was later that I learned that she was really more afraid of the idea of possibly having to one day shoot at another human being. She told me that once she had thought it through that she did not know if she could ever pull the trigger against another person. I really do understand that line of thinking but it only reassures me that she understands the seriousness of carrying a lethal weapon everyday.

Now after the few years that I have had my permit and range membership she has yet to even go to the range with me. She will from time to time ask to go but then when the time comes she does not feel well enough that day as she does have several health issues going on, or something else comes up that keeps her from going.

She most often asks about going shooting when I am drooling over a new gun or I have come back from a good day at the range. I think that she can see and feel how much going shooting helps me to relax from the stress of everyday life and I think that she really does want to be a part of that with me, yet there is still always something that gets in the way of her going with me.

I worry a lot when she is out alone especially after dark but I also know that I can not push her into anything and that she will have to decide for herself that getting a permit is something that she really does want to do before it will ever happen. I feel like too much pressure from me about it all will just have an opposite effect of the goal. So all I know to do is wait it out until she is ready. I am pretty certain that if I can just get her to the range a time or two that she would enjoy it and that should push her closer to wanting her own permit whether or not she would start to carry right away or not.

My current plan of non-pressure pressure is that she has a birthday in Dec and of course there is Christmas, this year for one or the other I am going to try and find her a nice concealment purse which of course she can use with or without a handgun in it. I am also going to pre-pay for her class and tell her that she can take it any Saturday that she likes. Along with that I am going to tell her that a nice gift from her to me would be for her to come to the range with me. I am hoping by doing these things that it will result in her wanting to go ahead and get her own permit and then of course her own gun(s). She really likes my Rainbow 238 and I have told her that it can be hers if she ever gets a permit and wants to carry it, I can tell that idea appeals to her.

This approach will either work or it will not but it is about all that I have left to try and do to convince her. I think the timing is good right now because a week or so ago she was very scared when leaving the Dollar Store just after dark by some thug who was looking very hard at her. She actually came home and said that she would have felt much better if she had been in possession of a gun that night. She has since refused to go to that store after dark ever again, so as I said the timing may just be right for her. She has mentioned this situation several times over the past few weeks so I do think that I am getting closer with her.

Also aside from the protection aspect and something that may well appeal to the female in her is that I feel like the range would be a good thing for us to share together, it is very close to the house and cheap dates as it would be are hard to come by these days for a couple of older parents of three. If I can throw that part of it into the mix I should have a better chance of reaching her.

If not.....the waiting will just have to continue.

I wish all of you who are dealing with this issue the best of luck and do envy those of you who have accomplished it already. Our loved ones are #1 to most all of us but there is simply no way that we can be by their sides 24/7/365.

[UncleJak]

Thanks to all who have responded so far. I feel I am making progress with her. She sees a need for protection, but feels like a gun isn't always necessary. (which is true) I had bought her an expandable baton last year and she has that in her car. I explained that a baton is a great defensive weapon for many situations, but I would rather have too much weapon than not enough. A friend of mine once said " it's better to have one and not need it than need it and not have it". The best argument I gave her was she could defend our children in case of a emergency. This is a emotion that appeals to all parents, especially mothers. I think it worked. So, tomorrow is black Friday and Academy Sports has a 22lr single action revolver on sale. I am going to purchase this in hopes she will be comfortable with the shooting portion of the hcp test. After she receives her permit I will give her a small semi auto 22 that can be stashed in her purse just in case.

[analog_kidd]

My wife had concerns about not being able to pass the test too. She kept saying she didn't think she'd be good enough to pass. I called the instructor for the class I had her signed up for and asked them to explain exactly what theri requirements were for the shooting portion of the test. I got specs on the exact target, and what counted for a hit, and the number of shots to take, and at what distances. Then I went out and got some of those exact targets, took her to the range and ran thru the test exactly as it would be presented to her. She had no problems at the range, saw how easy it was going to be, and had great confidence after that. She ended up with a perfect score on her shooting test.

[BLACKVANDRIVER]

They will feel they dont want/need untill someone close to or they become a victim!

Education,Education,Education then Pratice,Pratice,Pratice and then MORE of both!

[Guest 58dirtywhiteboy]

My son wanted to get his GCP October 2011 he turned twenty one in March 2011 the WIFE didn’t want to sit in on the class either, but I told her that we could spend the day with our son and just sit in and listen to the Instructor that she could make up her mind rather to go through with the range shooting or not. The Instructor Bill Newman did an excellent job making her feel comfortable and she did shoot and did pass the test and now has a GCP. But the WIFE still did not want to carry until Black Friday 11/25/2011 at Northgate Mall in Chattanooga, Tn. inside Sears a weird young man walking around making gang signs and saying I will Kill you and you and you, to several people that he walked pass including our son and his girlfriend! The WIFE said “That convinced me to start carrying after this†ordeal…..

Good Luck I hope this will help! The Ridge Shooting; http://www.theridgeshooting.com/about-us.html

[Mark A]

Well, there are other benefits besides not carrying every day. (hopefully someday she will though) For my wife being able to meet me at the range with her weapon and loaded mags made it worth while. Also, the ability to legally transport my firearm should we be together and something happen to me is a benefit. I know you can unload everything and physically separate it and be safe but it is easier to not worry about it.

As far as passing, if my wife can do it anyone can...

Mark

[UncleJak]

My son wanted to get his GCP October 2011 he turned twenty one in March 2011 the WIFE didn’t want to sit in on the class either, but I told her that we could spend the day with our son and just sit in and listen to the Instructor that she could make up her mind rather to go through with the range shooting or not. The Instructor Bill Newman did an excellent job making her feel comfortable and she did shoot and did pass the test and now has a GCP. But the WIFE still did not want to carry until Black Friday 11/25/2011 at Northgate Mall in Chattanooga, Tn. inside Sears a weird young man walking around making gang signs and saying I will Kill you and you and you, to several people that he walked pass including our son and his girlfriend! The WIFE said “That convinced me to start carrying after this” ordeal…..

Good Luck I hope this will help! The Ridge Shooting; http://www.theridgeshooting.com/about-us.html [/indent]

]

I used to live in Chattanooga and Eastgate would definitely convince anyone to carry. Interesting that Northgate has fallen into that category.