Ponderisms

[Guest db99wj]

· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· Life is sexually transmitted.

· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

· In the same vein, who was the first person to look at a chicken and say, 'I think I'll eat the next thing that drops out of its butt !'

· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

[Sidinman]

awe, pretty good.

[peejman]

· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Funny story on that topic...

What I was in school, we worked on our SAE Mini-Baja car nights/weekends in the machine shop in the basement of the engineering building. The power supply for the elevator was also in this shop. When someone would push the call button on any floor, the power relay would make a rather loud "CLACK", and the elevator would begin moving. It was loud enough that it'd startle you if you were concentrating on something. Occasionally, you'd get morons who'd push the button over and over very fast. So in the shop, we'd hear... "CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK....". Highly annoying.

One evening we'd heard this a couple of times and were tired of it. So we stopped and listened for the elevator to get to the floor the people were on. We heard the elevator stop, the doors open, the doors close, and it begin to come back down. We waited a couple seconds and opened the main breaker, killing all power to the elevator. We let it sit between floors for at least a couple minutes. We pulled the doors open on our floor and one guy who has a booming voice stuck his head in and said "YOU ONLY HAVE TO PUSH THE BUTTON ONCE!"

We restored the power a moment later, which put the elevator into a reset mode in which it goes all the way to the bottom, all the way back up to the top, then back down to the main floor before stopping.

We repeated that routine whenever necessary and within a short time, it became very rare for someone to repeatedly push the button. So to answer the above question, pushing the button more than once does not make the elevator arrive faster. It does however, make it reach it's destination much slower.