Rat Them Out or Not?

[VERO1]

So the kids across the street have buddies over. They are the same age as my son 14-15. One of the buddies just got his license and is showing off his ride, mid 80's Camaro,jacked up, wide tires on back, and dual exhaust. Yeah I know, we all did it!

Problem is, one buddy comes across to my yard and fires up a joint out by the street. He about swallowed it when he saw me cooking on the grill. I mentioned it to my son, who said,"Why do you think I came inside?" Told my son he was smart and thanked him. Debating whether or not to mention it to parents across the road, I would like to know if my son was hanging with that type crowd. Mind my own business, or chat with dad?

[DaveTN]

I would have mixed feelings, on one hand the kid is pretty arrogant to burn one on the street in the open; too bad there wasn’t an unmarked rolling through. On the other hand it could cause your son problems.

[NRA]

wow this is a tough one! meth no doubt, crack no problem I would tell! weed .... but they do say it leads to other stuff?

[Mike.357]

I would consider talking to the parents.

Would you want to know if the roles had been reversed?

[Will Carry]

That is one of the hardest dilemmas of raising children. Sooner or later your son will have to make the choice of whether to smoke pot or not. You can't protect him forever. The one thing you can do is maintain the kind of relationship with your son to where you can talk to each other. Father to son, man to man, friend to friend.

I am sure that the parents of the pot smoking punk would appreciate a heads up. They probably love thier son too.

[Guest No Ammo]

Something similar happened to my son, He talked to the kids dad, couple of days later my son's 2009 jeep was torched in front of his house, in subdivision?

Need to be careful, lot of nut cases out there!

[ftncityfatboy]

wrong is wrong, whether meth, coke, weed......talk to dad.

[Sandman]

Gonna have to say talk to dad. Have you spoke with him before or will this be the first time?

[Jasongar8]

Ask your son when he thinks you should do. Because the kids are going to know that it was you that got them in trouble, and are probably going to take it out on your boy.

[Guest drv2fst]

Something similar happened to my son, He talked to the kids dad, couple of days later my son's 2009 jeep was torched in front of his house, in subdivision?

Need to be careful, lot of nut cases out there!

Sure, this is a tough one. As indicated above, there may be repercussions. However, in life, there are often repercussions for doing the right thing. It's still the right thing to do. As a parent, I'd want someone to tell me if my kid was doing anything questionable from either a legal, ethical, or health and safety perspective.

[Guest Zombie-Hunter]

I suppose if it was Booze everyone would just chalk it up to "Boys being Boys" LOL

[Jonsaiga]

I would consider talking to the parents.

Would you want to know if the roles had been reversed?

This^

That is one of the hardest dilemmas of raising children. Sooner or later your son will have to make the choice of whether to smoke pot or not. You can't protect him forever. The one thing you can do is maintain the kind of relationship with your son to where you can talk to each other. Father to son, man to man, friend to friend.

I am sure that the parents of the pot smoking punk would appreciate a heads up. They probably love thier son too.

....and this^

[Guest drv2fst]

I suppose if it was Booze everyone would just chalk it up to "Boys being Boys" LOL

Nope, I'd treat it the same either way. Whether it's pot or booze it still has behavioral, legal, and health implications.

[R_Bert]

Seems if it is an issue at all, then LEO should be contacted, not neighbors. You are not a trained counselor, negotiator, etc.

Either ignore, or elevate.

[zapfbroad]

If u have any relationship with the parents you can tell them "you're not positive but you suspect he was smoking some pot" say "hey, you know how kids are.. I don't want your son to know I was involved or to feel like my son isn't allowed to be friends with him". "Maybe you should look around & see if you see any 'signs' of potential drug use, like paraphenalia devices, lighters, hightimes magazines, etc. That way you have proof that you need to intervene." Tell the kids parents "I want to be wrong about this but I don't want you to jump in and accuse your son and risk losing his trust...'ya know how they are at that age' ". If you aren't friendly with the parents they may not even be receptive or care..you won't know until it gets awkward. If you are friendly take action..they'll appreciate I'm sure.

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[Guest drv2fst]

Seems if it is an issue at all, then LEO should be contacted, not neighbors. You are not a trained counselor, negotiator, etc.

Either ignore, or elevate.

Personal preference, but I'd try to be a good neighbor first, unless there is a reason to be otherwise.

[R_Bert]

Personal preference, but I'd try to be a good neighbor first, unless there is a reason to be otherwise.

Hence the option of "ignore".

[Mike.357]

heck for all we know the kid swiped it from his Dad's stash,

and a big thumbs down to involving the law.

What ever happened to neighbors acting like neighbors?

[Guest bkelm18]

and a big thumbs down to involving the law.

What ever happened to neighbors acting like neighbors?

That's the old America, Mike. This is the NEW America. Avoid all contact with your fellow man. Involve the authorities at every possible opportunity.

But seriously, if you believe the father/mother to be a reasonable person, talk to them. They may try and take care of it "in-house". No need to ensnare them in legal troubles if you don't need to. That's a sure-fire way to create an enemy where you don't need one.

Edited September 8, 2011 by bkelm18

[R_Bert]

heck for all we know the kid swiped it from his Dad's stash,

and a big thumbs down to involving the law.

What ever happened to neighbors acting like neighbors?

More likely, It's a family affair to begin with. Kid probably supplying Dad with weed, not the reverse.

As far as Neighbors acting like Neighbors....well....that changed a long time ago. When I grew up (late 60's - early 70's, If I misbehaved around the hood, I got two beatings. One on scene, and one when I got home. When's the last time a neighbor spanked someone else's kid (it used to be common)?

The one neighbor I have that I could approach on the pot question is not just a neighbor. he is a very close friend, and I would not have had to ask the rhetorical question to a gun board. It would have been a no brainer.

Honestly, If the relationship with the neighbor is not good enough to be a no-brainer, then I suggest "ignore". Otherwise, it is only seen as "meddlin", and you end up with a neighbor that hates you.

Edited September 8, 2011 by R_Bert

[R_Bert]

More than likely, parents already know (or even participate). It's really hard to hide pot smoking from parents, *unless* they choose real hard to ignore it.

[Guest tedbo]

So the kids across the street have buddies over. They are the same age as my son 14-15. One of the buddies just got his license and is showing off his ride, mid 80's Camaro,jacked up, wide tires on back, and dual exhaust. Yeah I know, we all did it!

Problem is, one buddy comes across to my yard and fires up a joint out by the street. He about swallowed it when he saw me cooking on the grill. I mentioned it to my son, who said,"Why do you think I came inside?" Told my son he was smart and thanked him. Debating whether or not to mention it to parents across the road, I would like to know if my son was hanging with that type crowd. Mind my own business, or chat with dad?

In bold- Little crapper came over to your yard,making this YOUR problem. IF the police were strolling by at that time it would likely cause you headaches. First thought would be that you might be condoning the crapper's behavior even though crapper wasn't yours. Would you like to have a warrant for your house to be searched for something you didn't do?

Neighbor parents need to be made aware of said possibility which would take a lot of weight off of your shoulders. It wouldn't make you the bad guy as you are protecting you and yours.

I don't have any kids,I SOLD them all!!

[hornett22]

I would consider talking to the parents.

Would you want to know if the roles had been reversed?

I agree with this.

[hornett22]

Seems if it is an issue at all, then LEO should be contacted, not neighbors. You are not a trained counselor, negotiator, etc.

Either ignore, or elevate.

Waste of time. Kids aren't scared of the cops. Cops wont do anything anyway. Talk to the parents.

[Oh Shoot]

I'd say leave it alone unless and until it adversely affects your family directly.

"Few good deeds go unpunished" is not just a cute adage.

- OS