Married guy 'Kitchen Pass' Strategy and Tactics?

[QuietDan]

Without giving away top secret information, what strategies and tactics do you use with your spouse regarding gun and accessory purchases? How do you get a "kitchen pass" on your purchases or dodge the requirement? Please direct me to a thread if this has been covered before . . .

I imagine the single and divorced guys buy whatever they want whenever they want it, and I imagine there are some guys that SAY "I do what I want" -- but I've been married to the same woman for 34 years and have learned a few 'dance steps' that keep the screaming, yelling, pouting and sofa-sleeping (all mine) down to a minimum. I'd like to hear some of the other techniques.

You can, of course, say: "I would never do this myself, but this buddy of mine . . . "

[Daniel]

I just act like I have the same guns I have always had and she doesnt know the difference. Slowly make withdrawals from your account to get going.

[Good_Steward]

Overwhelm her with numbers to the point you can say "I've had that for years...."

I also point out that I still have far, far less firearms than she has shoes and clothes.

[Garufa]

I make the money, pay the bills and sneak the stuff in and out of the house as needed.

[Good_Steward]

I should add to Daniel's post, ALWAYS have a small discretionary fund.

[NRA]

Nope they are all wrong...... A wise old man once told me the way to get all the ammo and weapons you want is to make her happy first. He said buying her roses and jewelry is the way to go. I found that this is true plus a deluxe kitchen remodel did not hurt and it has "allowed" me to get allot of some really good stuff.

[Good_Steward]

Nope they are all wrong...... A wise old man once told me the way to get all the ammo and weapons you want is to make her happy first. He said buying her roses and jewelry is the way to go. I found that this is true plus a deluxe kitchen remodel did not hurt and it has "allowed" me to get allot of some really good stuff.

Gotta disagree. The quickest way to make them UN-happy, even after all the remodels, new cars, etc., is top bring home something that she didn't approve first. My wife does not work, has all the jewelry, clothes. house on the hill, etc. I still find it negates a lot of arguments to allow ignorance of my firearm purchases.

[NRA]

yes surprise gifts are always a plus

[NRA]

One time she complained about the amount of ammo I have stock pilled but my response was that when she is chased down the street by a flash mob of zombies dont come cryin g to me.

[Guest coldblackwind]

Hmmm...personally I just come home with it. Of course then again I really don't care if she leaves as we broke up in february, lol.

[Guest DELETED]

I married a woman who is as fiscally repsonsible as I am. I buy whatever I want whenever I want and she does the same. We are both adults who understand that necessities such as the mortgage, utilities and a healthy savings account come before any other purchases. We respect and trust each others financial judgement. I can't imagine being married to a woman that I had to get permission from or justification for anything I do or buy. She is my partner, not my boss.

[vontar]

We are suppose to ask permission before buying?

I am not sure that will really help me aquirement more guns and ammo.

[Mike.357]

I pay every bill. Not one time in my life have I asked her to kick in on any of it.

if I wanna buy something and can afford it I go and do it. She has the same freedom with money she has.

[Raoul]

I like the old milspec approach. Don't ask Don't tell.

[hipower]

Very well said sir.

The only thing I will add is that my wife likes to see what I buy, just to see me talk about it. And always says that as long as bills are paid and we don't have them overflow the house...I can buy anything I can pay for.

[Dad03]

She's too busy cleaning the house to notice. Oh man I hope she never reads that!

I keep it within the discresionary budget and save a little each month. Smart trading helps too.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Dad03

[zapfbroad]

Use tact & wisdom. I don't question the myriad of cute baby shower items that are useless when she buys them, I don't question the random jewelry from somebody on etsy.com when she buys it. I shower her unexpectedly with flowers, chocolates, fragrances, jewelry, etc. Periodically I bring home another box of ammo. We don't hide stuff from each other but we don't ask, she tells but that's cause she's a she. And if I tell her it's gonna be about the killer deal I got that couldn't be beat because she'll see it around anyways. If I come clean bout firearms she won't notice the ever burgeoning paperback book collection hah

via EPIC4G SRF1.1.0 by Android Creative Syndicate

[deerslayer]

I pay every bill. Not one time in my life have I asked her to kick in on any of it.

if I wanna buy something and can afford it I go and do it. She has the same freedom with money she has.

Sounds familiar.

[dbla]

Well, I'm newly married, and relatively poor. So my wife and I sit down and pay the bills together, whatever money is leftover after everything is paid (including mutual eating out money) we split down the middle. And that's for whatever we want. For me it's guns, knives, and cameras. Her it's clothes, and crafty things. Seems to work well.

Whenever there's a major purchase, I may kick in some money I make freelancing. I'm a photographer/photographer's assistant by trade. But that's always discussed and agreed upon.

[BluewaterTactical]

=Boomstick. We respect and trust each others financial judgement. I can't imagine being married to a woman that I had to get permission from or justification for anything I do or buy. She is my partner, not my boss.

^^^^^

THIS.

Bluewater Tactical Defense

[Guest Ae-35]

Hmmm...personally I just come home with it. Of course then again I really don't care if she leaves as we broke up in february, lol.

Hahahahaha ! Now that's funny !!!

[Deerbnb]

this ALL sounds so familar.. I too pay ALL the household bills. She pays for the groceries and gas. She has "her" money and I have "my money. Touble is "hers" runs out first hahahah. But we basically have EVERYTHING we NEED and alot of things we want. She has more shoes than any one person should ever need and I have more guns than MOST people would ever need. This doesn't stop her from getting more shoes and doesn't stop me from picking up a gun once in a while. I just have to be reasonable about it. When we are trying to find extra monies to make a major purchase or a home inprovement I have the good sense not to mention any new guns or complain about the cost of my out of state hunting licenses. Lay-a-way is my friend

[strickj]

Never understood the asking permission thing most guys do. I'm not a child. I don't need permission to spend my money

That said, tell her to make you a samich (which she should be doing automatically soon as you walk in anyway) and when her back is turned....

IF you need more time, tell her to get you a beer...

[peejman]

My wife is a stay-at-home mom to our boys. We have a tacit discretionary spending limit of about $50/month. She tends to spend $40 here and $30 there while I typically save for a while and drop bigger money on one thing. We discuss big purchases which means most any toy I want gets talked about. I sometimes get frustrated with some of the useless crap shes wastes money on. But I'm sure she feels the same about me. At the end of the day we live within our means and very rarely fight about money.

A friend has an interesting strategy for such things. His conversations with his wife go something like this...

Him - "Hon', I ordered a new exhaust for my bike today."

Her - "Ok, how much was it?"

Him - "$1800."

Her - "$1800!!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FRICKIN' MIND?!?! We can't afford that!"

Him - "I'm kidding dear, it was only $900."

Her - "Oh, well, um, I guess that's not too bad then."

He knows she would've reacted the same way had he told her it was $900 to begin with. But $900 sounds like a lot less than $1800.

[Guest nicemac]

I married a woman who is as fiscally repsonsible as I am. I buy whatever I want whenever I want and she does the same. We are both adults who understand that necessities such as the mortgage, utilities and a healthy savings account come before any other purchases. We respect and trust each others financial judgement. I can't imagine being married to a woman that I had to get permission from or justification for anything I do or buy. She is my partner, not my boss.

As I was reading the first 8 or 10 replies, I was already formulating this response in my mind. Well said sir, well said.

I don't understand why anyone would enter into a relationship that was anything short of what you describe.