If Only America had this "Drug" Problem....

[Guest WyattEarp]

it just might be a better place....

[Guest Bronker]

Bravo.

I've been 'drugged' a great deal in my lifetime apparently. I'm drugging my own two children now as well.

[chemprof]

Here, here!

[Guest Dag123]

Amen nothing I hate more then disrespectful kids with no manners what so ever and think they an do whatever they want with no consequinces. Mine will not be this way.

[Guest db99wj]

It is tough these days with kids. I've got 4. I try, very hard, to the point I'm pretty hard on them, and loud, to teach them these type of things, the respect for adults thing especially, but we are a minority. Many kids, and many of their friends, are not brought up this way, and the way their friends act is a big influence on them, sometimes overriding the morals, the respectful behavior, manors, work ethic that I, we are trying to teach them. But I will keep trying, I will keep pounding into them these ideals, and they may not like me at times, but they will respect me, and hopefully become well rounded, respectful adults.

[hipower]

It is tough these days with kids. I've got 4. I try, very hard, to the point I'm pretty hard on them, and loud, to teach them these type of things, the respect for adults thing especially, but we are a minority. Many kids, and many of their friends, are not brought up this way, and the way their friends act is a big influence on them, sometimes overriding the morals, the respectful behavior, manors, work ethic that I, we are trying to teach them. But I will keep trying, I will keep pounding into them these ideals, and they may not like me at times, but they will respect me, and hopefully become well rounded, respectful adults.

A wonderful attitude to have. I only wish I could see evidence that other parents were trying to instill some type of morals and values into their children. But unfortunately today, no matter where you look, a large portion of the kids are wild, disrespectful, profane and just downright obnoxious.

So it's very refreshing to hear your take on this as it does offer hope for some of the kids.

[Dolomite_supafly]

Parents today try to be friends and worry about what their kids think of them. What they should worry about is preparing their kids for when they enter the brutal world on their own. Parents try to protect their kids from failure which is the motivating factor for me to succeed in life. I allowed my son to fail and every time he learned a valuable lesson.

Dolomite

[Links2k]

It is tough these days with kids. I've got 4. I try, very hard, to the point I'm pretty hard on them, and loud, to teach them these type of things, the respect for adults thing especially, but we are a minority. Many kids, and many of their friends, are not brought up this way, and the way their friends act is a big influence on them, sometimes overriding the morals, the respectful behavior, manors, work ethic that I, we are trying to teach them. But I will keep trying, I will keep pounding into them these ideals, and they may not like me at times, but they will respect me, and hopefully become well rounded, respectful adults.

I understand. My teens still have not figured out that chores are not punishment. If I had a dollar for everytime I hear "nobody we know does chores" I could buy my own country. I know that I am doing right because they have promised to attend college and move away so that they don't have to work like field hands. As far as I am concerned thats a win in my book. I hate seeing adult kids at home with their parents if the parents are not ill and require assistance.

Edited June 16, 2011 by LINKS2K

[Glock30]

My dad's philosophy is this:

Discipline when young.

Shared decision making in the teen years.

Advice in adult years.

You can't force someone to drink water, but you can advise how important it is to survival.

I didn't like it back then, but I now appreciate being "drug" out of bed to do chores on Saturday mornings. It's not about being free labor, it's about learning life lessons. It takes time and maturity to understand.

[Guest WyattEarp]

It is tough these days with kids. I've got 4. I try, very hard, to the point I'm pretty hard on them, and loud, to teach them these type of things, the respect for adults thing especially, but we are a minority. Many kids, and many of their friends, are not brought up this way, and the way their friends act is a big influence on them, sometimes overriding the morals, the respectful behavior, manors, work ethic that I, we are trying to teach them. But I will keep trying, I will keep pounding into them these ideals, and they may not like me at times, but they will respect me, and hopefully become well rounded, respectful adults.

I have many friends with kids, but none of my own (yet...that I know of...lol), and I've seen the results of trying to "force" or "make" them not to do things. push something too hard on them, they will end up turning out how you don't want them to or doing the things you don't want them to. sometimes it's better to advise them not to do something, knowing they could or most likely will do it anyhow, let them fall on their face, and them discuss with them what happened, why it happened and how to avoid it next time and then deal out consequences. if they can benefit from learning from their own mistakes and seeing how it caused complications, they will most likely learn from it and move on. But if you're one of those micromanagers, who wants to protect them from every big bad boogeyman that will come at them in their lives, be it drugs, pre-marital sex, drinking and driving, teen pregnancy, etc...you're in for disappointment. I don't claim to be any expert on kids, and as I said I don't have any of my own, but from what I've witnessed over the years with my friends raising kids, the harder you push them not to do something or to not turn out a certain way, the more likely they are to rebel and do it anyways.

I understand. My teens still have not figured out that chores are not punishment. If I had a dollar for everytime I hear "nobody we know does chores" I could buy my own country. I know that I am doing right because they have promised to attend college and move away so that they don't have to work like field hands. As far as I am concerned thats a win in my book. I hate seeing adult kids at home with their parents if the parents are not ill and require assistance.

chores are the building blocks to a good strong work ethic for their futures in school at work and when they have families of their own. I have a friend who is mid 30's, he can't do laundry, he can't (or won't) change his kids diaper, he can't balance a checkbook and their account is always overdrafting, he can't cook anything other than macaroni and cheese, and he can't support himself financially. Sad to say his wife is divorcing him, and he doesn't have a clue as to why. it just makes me shake my head that people enable their kids to grow up without the most basic of motor skill sets.

if your kids hate chores now, tell them to never get married or have kids! lol

[Guest friesepferd]

so true!

[Guest db99wj]

There is a fine line, and they need to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Also, an important lesson for them to learn is "Life is NOT fair".

[Links2k]

There is a fine line, and they need to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Also, an important lesson for them to learn is "Life is NOT fair".

You said a mouth full.

[Guest Bronker]

Parents today try to be friends and worry about what their kids think of them. What they should worry about is preparing their kids for when they enter the brutal world on their own. Parents try to protect their kids from failure which is the motivating factor for me to succeed in life. I allowed my son to fail and every time he learned a valuable lesson.

Dolomite

It is tough these days with kids. I've got 4. I try, very hard, to the point I'm pretty hard on them, and loud, to teach them these type of things, the respect for adults thing especially, but we are a minority. Many kids, and many of their friends, are not brought up this way, and the way their friends act is a big influence on them, sometimes overriding the morals, the respectful behavior, manors, work ethic that I, we are trying to teach them. But I will keep trying, I will keep pounding into them these ideals, and they may not like me at times, but they will respect me, and hopefully become well rounded, respectful adults.

My dad's philosophy is this:

Discipline when young.

Shared decision making in the teen years.

Advice in adult years.

You can't force someone to drink water, but you can advise how important it is to survival.

I didn't like it back then, but I now appreciate being "drug" out of bed to do chores on Saturday mornings. It's not about being free labor, it's about learning life lessons. It takes time and maturity to understand.

True wisdom spoken here.

I'll add to that, my approach is that I want my children to have the attitude of me that I still have for my father and grandfathers.

I'm fearful of my father, but I've never been afraid of my father. There is an enormous difference in Respect vs. Fear.

And that is scriptural. Even Jesus spoke of being fearful of his Father. Never did He speak of being AFRAID of His Father. Good enough for me.

[safeandsecure]

The original post AND the following posts are all good. I agree with hipower that it is most refreshing to see these attitudes on raising children.

I also am well aware that not all children are "raised," period. There are too many who have been left to "raise" themselves. I feared my Dad before I learned to respect him, and made a concerted effort to raise my son the same way --- --- I was satisfied to be feared before, hopefully, I earned his respect. He is grown now, 28 years old, and he has made me proud, never caused me undue worry or shame. And I WAS hard on him. It didn't hurt me, and it doesn't appear to have done him any lasting harm, either.

That being said, some kids just seem to head down the wrong road, no matter their raising; the best we can do is drag them in the direction we know they need to go, and hope that momentum will keep them on that right path. Keep up the good work, you young(er) Dads.

[Links2k]

That being said, some kids just seem to head down the wrong road, no matter their raising; the best we can do is drag them in the direction we know they need to go, and hope that momentum will keep them on that right path. Keep up the good work, you young(er) Dads.

Scary, but so true.

[bajabuc]

There is a fine line, and they need to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Also, an important lesson for them to learn is "Life is NOT fair".

They also need to learn it's not fair for everybody.

When I was a kid doesn't cut it anymore. Thanks to the Busybodies children can't be treated like I was. I've noticed the prison population keeps growing...that's because children did things that the law protected from punishment. My daughter is in court nearly day with offenders...the common thread is "Why can't I do it...I did it before I was 18...why not now." Well Jimmy, we were protecting you from your folly and hoping you'd learn from the experience. Since you failed to learn, you get to learn manners on your knees in front of Bubba.

Edited June 16, 2011 by bajabuc

[Dolomite_supafly]

It has been a systematic process that has resulted in what we see now.

No child left behind took away the child's accountability in school, the first place most children learn responsibility. At the same time it took away the teacher's responsibility to teach our children. Zero tolerance policies have taken away the administrator's and teacher's responsibility to treat each child as an individual and gear the punishment to suite the crime. Over zealous child abuse laws took away the ability of the parents to keep children in line.

First and foremost parents need to be parents, friendships will come later in life.

Dolomite

[farrar]

I had the same "drug" problem in my home growing up.

Great post. Thanks for sharing it.

[Guest Oaklands]

Thank you for sharing the article. Very true!