A Man Who Knows His Math

[Guest tadams]

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out the window and gave the woman the finger. " Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

• I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

• Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

• There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

• Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

• That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!

• In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
  

• According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
  

• According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
  

• And, finally, 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
  

• According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

What does all this mean? That means EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so.

Edited February 27, 2008 by tadams
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[Guest TargetShooter84]

Never really thought of that....maybe I'll be more careful next time....

[Guest strelcevina]

So you want a day off.

Let's take a look at exactly what you are asking for.

There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours per day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break that accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1-hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave; this leaves you only 20 days available for work. We offer 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves you only 1 day available for work.

And I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off !!!