Just a joke...that is all

[gnmwilliams]

Not targeted at anyone in particular but thought I'd share this...

So a lady walks into the pastor's office to discuss details for her upcoming wedding.

Pastor: So I see that this will be your fourth marriage?

Lady: Yes that's correct.

Pastor: And I also see that you're planning to wear a white dress?

Lady: Yes that's correct.

Pastor: Well that shouldn't be a problem but most people choose to wear a dress of a different color on their third or fourth weddings.

Lady: Oh I can assure you that I am as chaste as the day I was before my first marriage.

Pastor: I see. Do you mind me asking how that is possible?

Lady: Well, my first husband died of a heart attack right before our wedding night. My second husband and I got into a huge fight in the limo after the wedding so we had it annulled right there. And my third husband was a democrat so all he did was sit on the edge of the bed and talk about how good things would be but never did anything.

[Guest BEARMAN]

.........Very good, George!

[vontar]

about time I get to add this joke.

Marry a Lawyer and Get Screwed

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle,

I'm still a v1rgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how

great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it

was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back

to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out

diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order,

he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted

three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art

method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew

how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was

never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss

him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

[hipower]

#1--Very good. Not where I thought it was going.

#2--It snuck up on me...stamp collector...hmmmm...oh....OHH...Very Good.

[Oh Shoot]

...--It snuck up on me...stamp collector...hmmmm...oh....OHH...Very Good.

It hasn't reached me at all. I admit I don't get it.

- OS

[titan14]

What do you do to stamps?...well...the older ones...

[Oh Shoot]

What do you do to stamps?...well...the older ones...

Oh, duh. And me half lesbian, too.

Irony is that a real stamp collector would NOT remove the gum from a valuable collectible !

- OS

[Erik88]

Oh, duh. And me half lesbian, too.

Irony is that a real stamp collector would NOT remove the gum from a valuable collectible !

- OS

LOLOLOLOL...I didn't get it at first either. Glad I'm not the only one.

[kieefer]

NO, aren't all stamp collectors are gay? Get it..."miss him".

here's one,

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup.

She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why and she told me “because I am trying to examine you.â€

Edited January 15, 2011 by kieefer

[Sidinman]

I liked them both.