Threat Levels Rise Around the World!

[RobertNashville]

For everyone's information (and enjoyment)

Threat Levels Rise Around the World!

At this time of heightened security in Europe it's important to

review how our allies handle terrorist threats.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist

threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to

"Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to

"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit

Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody

Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning

level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's

get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason

they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last

300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its

terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in

France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a

recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively

paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"

to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective

Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful

Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have

two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only

threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to

deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new

Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive

strikes on all of their enemies "just in case".

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA".

Due to continuing defense cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level

of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"

to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain:

"Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and

"The barbie is canceled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of

the final escalation level.

Above was done with all due respect to our allies, friends and neighbors

Original source unknown; just thought it was funny!

[mikegideon]

... and here in the US, a door-to-door search for Butt Bombs will commence immediately. Trim your finger nails boys, we're goin' in.

[Guest db99wj]

I like.

[vontar]

Forgot the US is now employing the Walmart Gestapo

[mikegideon]

Some of the average Walmart shoppers can hide up to 8 lbs of C4 in their butt. It's a good place to start.

[vontar]

Some of the average Walmart shoppers can hide up to 8 lbs of C4 in their butt. It's a good place to start.

You ask for it.

People of Walmart

TN

Out of respect, I am not making this an image to auto load. Click at your own RISK!

http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/1566Tenn.jpg

[RobertNashville]

You ask for it.

People of Walmart

TN

Out of respect, I am not making this an image to auto load. Click at your own RISK!

http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/1566Tenn.jpg

OMG...when did my ex move to Tennessee?????

[DWARREN123]

Jeez you need a better warning than that!

[Guest db99wj]

Back tities are not attractive....ever.

[vontar]

Jeez you need a better warning than that!

You had 3 lines of warning

1. People of Walmart

2. TN (people of walmart)

3. Out of respect, I am not making this an image to auto load. Click at your own RISK!

What more do you want, me to unplug your computer?

[DavidD]

You ask for it.

People of Walmart

TN

Out of respect, I am not making this an image to auto load. Click at your own RISK!

http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/1566Tenn.jpg

I just had to look......

[mikegideon]

You ask for it.

People of Walmart

TN

Out of respect, I am not making this an image to auto load. Click at your own RISK!

http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/1566Tenn.jpg

That's what I'm talkin' about. Plenty of room for explosives, and enough ass shrapnel to knock down a small building.

[Guest mustangdave]

OMG...when did my ex move to Tennessee?????

Thought that was MY ex and daughter....in from Las Vegas

[Guest mustangdave]

You had 3 lines of warning

1. People of Walmart

2. TN (people of walmart)

3. Out of respect, I am not making this an image to auto load. Click at your own RISK!

What more do you want, me to unplug your computer?

A WARNING SHOT...oh wait this is a gun forum...no such thing as a warning shot. that's considered wasting ammo